Sure you and your roommate "talk", but what are you really saying? Here are a few things you and your roommate might say to each other vs. what you really mean:

What you say :: What you mean

How old is your sister?	Your sister is hot
Wanna see what's on ESPN?	Dude, stop watching Full House.
Wanna help me clean?	Want to pick your shit up?
Hey, my girlfriend is coming here this weekend.	Hey, you need to find somewhere to sleep this weekend.
Is it cool if I borrow your deodorant?	I borrowed your deodorant.
What time do you get out of class?	How long do I have to whack it?
Are you goin' to eat?	Can I whack it?
You goin' to throw out the trash?	Can I whack it?
You goin' anywhere tonight?	Can I borrow your car? Can I whack it?
I need to get some studying done.	Turn off your Lou Bega CD.
I like this shirt.	I'm borrowing this shirt...and puking on it...then sneaking it back into your closet without washing it.
Dude...I kissed your sister	Dude...I boned your sister
My internet connection is messed up.	Can I watch porn on your computer?
Dude I haven't gotten laid in so long.	Wanna hook up?
Just kidding.	Don't tell anyone.
Do you have any lube?	Do you have any lube?