Wow, how about that game!? Pretty ridiculous. It's hard to live up to that kind of hype, but I believe I'm not alone when I say, that Connecticut v. Syracuse battle was an instant classic! Here's the rest:

1. Ohio State - Buckeyes prove once and for all, you don't need an intimidating mascott to be the best team in the nation. Even a happy looking chestnut thing will do.

2. Michigan - Well, turns you were wrong Michigan fans. You're not #1. Quit holding up that index finger. And while you're at it, quit barking for a rematch. That's not how it works in football. You had your chance, and you blew it. There is no close enough, and if there were, you weren't it. Close enough is losing on a last second field goal. Close enough is leading the whole way and losing it at the end. Close enough is not playing catch up against the clock, and there are no onside kicks in close enough. And what, you think if you got another shot and actually won, that would be fair to Ohio State? You guys would be 1-1 and Michigan would be the national champs? There is no "double or nothing" when it comes to the BCS. Why don't we just see if somebody else can beat the Buckeyes? And hey, the Rose Bowl isn't a bad consellation prize, I know tons of schools that would kill to be in the Rose Bowl. (Go Bears...)

3. USC - Pete Carroll said he doesn't care about the BCS championship game, he just wants to win football games. When asked why he wants to win football games he said, "Ummm , just 'cuz, okay? Leave me alone!"

4. Florida - Florida had its rivalry week game on Saturday against hated southeastern foe Western Carolina. A rivalry as old as time itself. I hate those damn... Wildcats? Maybe?

5. Notre Dame - Fighting Irish fans cannot draw up a scenario in which Notre Dame plays Ohio State. At least one that doesn't involve a time machine. Although... they are doing cool things with time machines nowadays...

It's time to play the greatest online game show since "Guess That Away Message!" That's right, its Jew or False time.

For every item, it's up to you, the reader, to decide whether that item is Jew or False. There's no better way to learn than by trying, so here we go!

1) Jew or False: Rob Schneider

2) Jew or False: Basketball was invented in Canada

3) Jew or False: Jerry Seinfeld

4) Jew or False: Jerry Seinfeld is Christian

5) Jew or False: The average human consumes 75 spiders in his lifetime.

6) Jew or False: Sandy Koufax

How did you do?

Answers:
1) Jew 2) False 3) Jew 4) False 5) False 6) Jew

Thanks for playing everybody!

While this Saturday should provide tons of excitement for Michigan and Ohio State fans, why should they be the only ones having fun? For those of you with little to no interest in the big game, why not play our Michigan/Ohio State drinking game? Because the only thing more fun than your team beating its rival school, is being drunk before night time.

Just follow the guide below, and you'll be having more fun than Jim Tressel at a sweatervest convention.

Take one sip everytime... A team scores a touchdown or field goal.

Take two sips everytime... A team scores a safety or a two point conversion.

Take three sips everytime... They show a classic moment from a previous OSU/Michigan game.

Take one sip everytime... Somebody calls it "The greatest rivalry in sports."

Take two sips everytime... A Michigan fan incorrectly exclaims that his team is "number one!"

Take one sip everytime... A closeup of an OSU fan yelling "Not in our house!" is shown.

Take one sip for everytime... they show a really cheesy commercial for Ohio State University or University of Michigan. "Where The Future of America Learns... Today!"

Have you guys noticed that the last, I dunno, 4,000 CollegeHumor updates have been geared towards guys!? Well ladies, I got some good news for you, that streak ends NOW! Fella's take a break, this one's just for the girls in the house!

Okay, first things first, why is it when a guy sleeps around he's known as a stud, but when a girl sleeps around she's known as a slut!? No way. Not fair. I mean, if I make out with a couple a guys this weekend, but I refuse to give it up, does that make me a tramp!? I don't think so. It's called college! I'm just enjoying myself!

You know what I hate more than those low riding jeans? Those tramps who wear them. And stop looking at my man, he doesn't want you.

Oh, and guys? PMS? It's real, it sucks, and its 100% natural, so get the F out of our way! I don't wanna hear some guy going "Dude, ... um... dude... call me when you stop PMS'ing." Just leave me alone, and if you really wanted to be useful, get me a pint of Cherry Garcia, and just get out of my way, because I already feel bloated and I don't care about getting fat. At least not till tomorrow :)

And what is this I hear about girls being bad at math and science and school in general. Yes, we might not be "book smart" but at least we can make up for it in other ways, like knowing how to shop.

So close yet so far. Texas, Auburn, Cal, and Lousville need to realize if you're only going to lose once, do it in September, idiots!

1. Ohio State: OSU is just one game away from an undefeated season. I forget who their next game is against, but it should be a cake walk.

2. Michigan: You think Michigan has too much pride to just pay Ohio State to go for a 0-0 tie to guarantee they BOTH play in the National Championship game? I mean, the plan is fool-proof!

3. USC: USC comes barrelling back into the top three. "Hey Guys! What did we miss?"

4. Florida: 6-foot-6 Jarvis Moss blocks two kicks to help the Gators beat Spurrier, which leads me to ask: Isn't it worth keeping one roster spot for a 6'11" basketball player with a 48 inch vertical who can easily block field goals? (see also: Sumo Wrestler playing goalie in Hockey)

5. Notre Dame: Their game against USC on the 25th will be a nice dessert to the big OSU-Michigan meal.

6. Rutgers - Call me crazy, but if Ohio State beats Michigan, Cal Beats USC, USC beats Notre Dame, and Florida's team plane gets shot down over the gulf of Mexico, I think we're going to see the Scarlet Knights in the National Championship!

Boss: Well, I've given you guys a week, what ideas do you have for the cover of "Applied Mathematics 7th edition?"

Terry: Um, okay, I'll start. How about a roller coaster amidst a setting sun?

Boss: That's unbelievably stupid. It has nothing to do with math!

Terry: Sure it does. The roller coaster represents... I dunno, equations.

Boss: Stop wasting our time, Terry. We trusted you when you came up with Ferris wheel amidst a setting sun. Nobody got it then, and nobody's getting it now. Anybody else have any bright ideas?

Mary: My four year old did this pretty neat looking water color yesterday at school.

Boss: You know what you're problem is, Mary?! You're asian.

Mary: I'm half Philipino.

Boss: Now you're half FIRED. Leave. Please. Anybody else? Come on people. I called you in here because you were the best of the best!

Whole lot of losing and winning going on in the past two weeks. If your team has been through some tough times, think about how rough it's been for those two West Virginia first place voters. They have literally nothing left to live for. And now the rest:

1. Ohio State - You'll never see a team happier to lose by seven than the "Fighting" Illini. I'm surprised their crowd didn't just rush the field anyway.

2. Michigan - Remember when I said Michigan was a distant second, and many people got angry? Was that before or after they "survived" Ball State? Just checking.

3. Louisville - Here's an interesting question: If Louisville is 8-0 and averaging close to 40 points a game, why do I still think they suck?

4. Florida - You guys have basketball, just step aside and let Auburn or something play a BCS bowl. This is all they have ever since Charles Barkley graduated.

5. Texas - How excited are racists right now that Colt McCoy is doing just as well as Vince Young? "Told ya they shoulda had that white boy startin'!"

Everybody's favorite child prodigy came out of the closet this weekend.

That's right, much to the chagrin of his high school sweetheart Wanda, Neil Patrick Harris, aka Doogie Howser has announced that he is living his life as a proud, homosexual.

It's kinda fun to go back and watch old episodes of Doogie Howser M.D., and look for little signs into Doogie's homosexuality (besides his name). Here's a great example I found last night:

Let me get this straight. You're really into computers and gaming and stuff, but you're also not doing well at school? I mean, what are you doing with your time, if not studying? You're clearly not going to the gym or socializing.

I mean, when you walked to class the other day with only one notebook and an erasable pen, I thought that meant you're "too smart" to buy books or something. I didn't think you were actually just a dumbass.

Jesus, look at your desk, it's filthy. Did you really get a 10/29 on that last quiz or was the teacher just writing the current date? Both? Hm, that delicious coincidence isn't enough to numb my shock at the fact that you are simultaneously so scrawny and stupid. I honestly thought those two were inversely proportional...

So when you watch challenges that are like "Brain Vs. Brawn" who do you root for? There's no "neither" team.

I guess for every smart jock in the world there has to be one of you to keep the universe in equillibrium. So what do you all day long? I mean, you must have something going for you...other than shooting cats with that slingshot you got.

Actually, can I touch you? Just your arm, I promise I won't interrupt that Unreal Tournament game you're playing, I just want to make sure you exist. Wow. This is so surreal. You feel like a real human, but you are so rare, so unique, you practically aren't.

---
Join us next week when we tackle Unathletic Meatheads!

At Class
Professor: I seem to be short one syllabus, can anybody just look on with their neighbor?
Kid: Ey! Hey! You gotta talk to my friend, his dad looks JUST LIKE YOU! OHMYGOD!!!! Here call him. Take a video picture or whatever the hell you do.
Professor: What is the commotion young man?
Kid: All right, brb dude, whatever.

At Home

Kid: Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.
Roommate: Stop! I'm trying to study. Seriously, you smell.
Kid: Ahahahhaha! I just upper decked this kid's toilet, dude.
Roommate: What!? That's our only bathroom! Will you clean it up? Kate's coming over to study.
Kid: You can do so much better than her... forget her. Seriously. You're such a good guy.

On a Date
Cindy: Hey. Thanks for taking me here. I've actually had a lot of fun.
Kid: HEY!!!! Somebody please sing the theme song from Zelda. All I can hear is Mario Bros. Right now. I'm going crazy. Hey, sing it!
Cindy: Ugh, get off me you creep.
Kid: Nah nah, that's not it. I think it starts with a melody.