Amir Blumenfeld's Articles

2 total in January 2008

  • Quick Question



    I just read that Dane Cook broke the stupid record of longest comedy set by performing stand-up at the Laugh Factory in L.A. for 7 hours straight. Seriously.

    Here's my question, would you like to be in the audience for that? If you couldn't leave, other than to go to the bathroom, would you like to be there for all seven hours?



    Reasons could vary from "I'm a huge Dane Cook fan" to "I have a morbid fascination to see what he would possibly be talking about past hour five" so if you're feeling frisky, leave a comment to explain your vote.
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  • Gourmet Drunk Food

    Two students, Benetar and Joniston, stumble out of a party drunk as fudge and begin half walking/half falling home.


    - Guess what time it is.

    - Four?

    - TIME FOR SOME ROUGHAGE, BROTHA!

    - Oh man, so hungry. I could go for something to soak this sh*t up.

    - Yes. Oh wow, you know what I want? Like... so bad?

    - Yes. Oh my God, Yes.

    - Pear braised pork tenderloin--

    - And fingerling sweet potato puree! I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO F*CKING SAY THAT!

    (They hug)

    - Come on I gotta find that sh*t somewhere.

    - Slow down dude.

    - Oh man, I could totally house like a... like a... like a... coconut-cilantro garden salad with raspberry vinagarette or something?

    - Dude, I would down a leafy green with any fruit reduction right now, I don't f*cking care I am so DONE, let's just go!

    - Jesus... you have to be sh*tting me, it looks like they're closed.

    - God dammit.

    - Why are there no 24/7 Il-Trattoria de Vermicelli in this f*cking city!?! This is f*cking retarded!

    (They press their faces against the glass entrance doors)

    - Sh*t those sun dried tomato baguettes look so FRESH!! UGHHHH! (almost crying) I want one with olive oil so bad...

    - Is Pomme Brulée Chez Mère Agathe open? Use your iPhone dude, look it up, I would bust a nut for escargots avec boeuf bourguignon fourrés dans un sanglier bouillabaisse!

    - Oui, mon frère, avec des côtes au gros sel, olives vertes et limaçons! Ô mon dieu! Simplement pensant a cette bouffe me fait nostalgique de mes voyages a Saint-Germain. La Bouffe, les hommes, le vin... Ca me fait dur à le penser!

    - Ho! Ho! Ô merde! Mon iPhone est mort.

    - Let's just go to KFC.

    - Huh?

    - The Kiwi Fig Chutney-torium.
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    • Amir Blumenfeld UC Berkeley

    About Me

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