Amir Blumenfeld Likes

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Hardly Working

Last Week

by CH's Hardly Working January 29, 2008

You've waited all year and now it's here -- The gripping finale of your favorite CollegeHumor video series.

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105%

Issue #45

by 105%-O-Matic January 29, 2008

If this issue of the 105% is not funny, it is likely due to a manufacturing defect. Ask for an exchange at the point of purchase.

My dog threw up yesterday all over my hand, because that's what I shoved down its mouth.

-Shawn Pearlman

I bet Slinky Hell is just a bunch of escalators going up. Or maybe that's Slinky Heaven.

-Jeff Rubin

MapQuest Directions to New Jersey

*Right on Maplewood (12.1 m)
*Left on Really? (16.4 m)
*Really? becomes Huge Mistake (8.4 m)
*Take Exit 41 towards We Can't Let You Do This (.4 m)
-- Initiating Shutdown Override --

-Dan Gurewitch

Expiration dates are the original spoiler alerts.

-Amir Blumenfeld

Call me Mr. Seidell. I didn't go to Man School to be called Streeter.

-Streeter Seidell

I just don't understand women. I can never tell if a woman is looking at me because she's interested, or because she's wondering why I'm staring at her crotch.

-Tom Sunnergren

Matchbox 20 Tour Bus

Matchbox 20: Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
Driver: I swear to god, if you say that one more time I'll turn this thing right around.
Matchbox 20: ...Let's see how far we've come. Let's see how far we've come.

-Jason Michaels

Grammatical Bun in the Oven

Stacey: Jim, I think I'm pregnant
Jim: Are you sure? How do you know?
Stacey: Because... I just know

-Sean Curry

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CollegeHumor Classic

Richie Rich Grows Up

by Patrick Cassels January 25, 2008

Hello Mom and Dad,

It's me, your "Poor Little Rich Boy." Well, I'm not so little any more. But I am still rich. I'm 30 years old sitting on a 10-figure trust fund just itching to be spent. And guess what: I do what I want, when I want. Just like I always said I would.

No parents. No rules. No consequences. $50 billion buys a lot of freedom, Dad. The kind of freedom I never knew in that Nazi regime you called a mansion. I've been living off a diet of cookie dough and Ring Pops for the last two months, and I've never felt more alive.

Sure, 80 percent of my teeth have rotted to the nerve, but who cares? It's not like I'm going to the dentist ever again. Or the doctor. In fact, I've bought the First Presbyterian Hospital and next week I'm blowing that needle-filled hell hole to the ground.

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Office Fantasy

by CH's Hardly Working January 22, 2008

Daydreaming at the office is inevitable. You see one person, you get a little tired and your imagination just runs wild with your deepest desires.

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Dude, don't even bother, cause I got the star!

by Josh Krebs January 02, 2008

You might as well quit right now buddy, cause quess what? I got the illustrious gold star, yeah that's right, call your mom and tell her that you are coming home early cause I am taking your ass out of commission for the rest of the night. But I am saving this son of a bitch for a specific time, that's right, I want to see your ass sweat with anticipation as to when I am gonna use it, its gonna be like a stripper at a bachelor party, you don't know when it's gonna come but when it does, it's gonna surprise you, but instead of giving you this righteous boner it will in fact make you wish you weren't born a man.

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