Ethan: Big week.  The stage is finally set for the one athletic event that even non-sports fans watch religiously each year:   the Australian Open semifinals.

Amir: Who do you think would win in a tennis match? Peyton Manning, or Rex Grossman?

Ethan: Peyton would destroy Grossman. Unless it was doubles, then Grossman/Urlacher would destroy Peyton/Ben Utecht. So what was the highlight of last weekend's NFL games for you?

Amir:  The entire Colts/Patriots game was one big highlight. But if I had to narrow it down to one specific play, it would be Reche Caldwell's dropped touchdown pass. It's nice to know that I can still watch sports and honestly say "Hey, I would have done better than that professional athlete. If I were on the Patriots, we would be up seven by now." then proceed to eat more pizza. Either that or Reggie Bush's 88 yard reception... that was cool.

Ethan: The Bush play was amazing, and he never ceases to impress me.  He can just do things on the football field that no one else can, namely rolling three separate taunts into one touchdown catch.  The point, the flip, the lame-ass shimmy dance...that score truly had something for everyone.  However, this  means that we won't get another shot at seeing Terry Bradshaw, Investigative Journalist, like his report on the current state of New Orleans before the game.  He truly is the bald, talentless, semi-literate Edward R. Murrow for our generation.  Were you impressed by the Bears?  It felt to me like the Saints were taking over in the third, so much so that I was surprised to look up and see they were still down 16-14.

Amir: The Bears don't impress anybody. They just win games. They can win the Superbowl and most people would still be saying, "Let's see if they can win next year! You're not going to win TWO Superbowls with Rex Grossman at QB, that's for sure."

Ethan: I'm just glad Peyton finally won the 'Big One' so we can stop hearing about it. I do think it's an interesting commentary on how lousy his playoff career has been that "winning the big one" doesn't even involve the Super Bowl, just finally slipping by a team whose starting linebackers are a combined 482 years old. I'll pull for Peyton in the Super Bowl, just so we don't have to hear about that storyline ever again. Give him his ring, let him set some passing records, and then get back to what's really important: recording commercials for any business that can scrape together seven dollars to pay him. On the flip side, someone call the coroner...Brady's mojo's been murdered! Speaking of crimes and people your racist dad thinks might commit them:  please snitch on your own thoughts on Carmelo and AI finally playing together.

Ethan: Well, time for conference championships, and I for one--

Amir: PLEASE don't bring up the fact that last week I GUARANTEED a Colts/Patriots AFC championship. Nobody likes to hear about somebody's empty predictions being 100% ACCURATE! I'm not a hero.

Ethan: I didn't say you were a hero. You had a 25% chance of being right with any combination you picked.

Amir: ... right. But... Okay well. Statistically... but... I guaranteed, so that... doesn't count. 25%? Really?

Ethan: Yeah, that's how math works. Anyway, some good games coming up this weekend. I really wanted to see the Chargers play the Colts, but the whole Pats-Colts story lines aren't tired yet, are they? I like how every year Brady makes some retread look like a great wideout during the playoffs.  This year it's Jabar Gaffney, a guy the Texans gave up on; I can't wait for Charles Rogers to be MVP of Super Bowl L. I'm kind of hoping for a Colts win just so we can stop hearing about the monkey on Peyton's back and he can get back to doing what he does best: making commercials.

Amir: Maybe you like Peyton Manning's team, maybe? How could you not love Indy vs. New England part three? This is the first time it's going to be IN Indianapolis and this is going to be the first time Peyton is going to beat Tom Brady. I couldn't have GUARANTEED a better game. What about the NFC? Who ya GOT?

Ethan:  Saints. Grossman looked good last weekend, so Evil Rex has to come out to play this weekend. That's not just a turn of phrase: look at his media guide pic; he looks like Satan. His hair even goes up into horns! The Saints may have caught a break last weekend when Andy Reid punted just so he could get to dinner earlier, but that's a really good offense. I think it's funny  that people are asking if the Bears will be exposed as frauds, though. How are they frauds? Were they bilking old ladies out of their Social Security checks? Was Ricky Manning, Jr. posing as a teenage girl in online chats? They just tend to win ugly is all.

Amir:  That punt was absurd. "4th and 15... Nah I quit. You guys got this one." Don't they have a play that goes for more than 15 yards? Like, I don't know... a pass? I also like the Saints to win. Colts/Saints would be a pretty wacky Superbowl. Then again, Saints/anybody would be a pretty wacky SuperBowl. Switching gears: Are you afraid of Joumana Kidd?

Ethan: Hmmmm...slow week in sports. So I guess we should start out this week by pointing out that we picked all of last weekend's NFL games wrong.  Well, that's not going to be a trend.  This week, we're getting AT LEAST one game right.  1-3 record, here we come.  Who do you like this weekend?

Amir:  The problem was, last week, I forgot the unwritten rule: Herm Edwards is stupid. This week I'm not going to make that mistake. NFC games are locks. The Seahawks cannot beat the Bears and the Eagles will not win in New Orleans. But my upset specials are in the AFC. I am GUARANTEE'ing a Patriots/Colts AFC Championship game.

Ethan: You think the Colts are going to beat the Ravens?  Why?  Because Tony Dungy's an offensive guru?  Does anyone else find it odd than when Tony Dungy was in Tampa Bay with a stacked defensive roster, everyone talked about how he was a defensive genius who couldn't get his offense together, but now that he's in Indy, it's the exact opposite? Is defensive genius something you forget? Or is he an overrated coach who happened to get lucky with two good units on one-dimensional teams?

Amir: I don't know, after years of disappointments, I think this is Joseph Addai's year. You know that video clip of Steve Young winning the SuperBowl and him leaning over saying "Will somebody get the monkey off my back?" I wouldn't be surprised if that was Peyton this year. Only with a bigger forehead. Also, Philip Rivers isn't good enough to beat Tom Brady. He's not even good enough in a Trent Dilfer way. Belichick is going to figure out a way to stop LDT, and after that, it's game over.

Ethan: I'm with you on the NFC games being locks, though, thanks to that brutal bobble by Tony Romo spoiling what could have been a great Cowboys-Bears matchup.  You had to feel kind of bad for Tony Romo when Bill Parcells walked up to him on the team bus and said, "On the road of life, can you pay the toll? Seriously, I'm totally tapped for cash. You know I'm good for it. Yes, I'll pay you back for that time you bought my frozen yogurt, too. As soon as we get back. We gotta get off this turnpike somehow. "

Amir: Tony Romo going to the ProBowl is going to be like when Homer Simpson walked into Moe's with a fake mustache. "Romo!? WHO IS ROMO!? I AM GUY INCOGNITO!" I don't blame him. How can you enjoy yourself at a party knowing the invitation was handed to you by mistake?

Amir: 2007 Tostitos Fiesta Nacho Bowl: Best Bowl Game Ever?

Ethan: I know this much: of all the Best Games Ever that have been played in the last year, this one was definitely top-seven.  USC-Texas notwithstanding. Oh, and Michigan-Ohio State. But waaaaay better than Clemson-Kentucky

Amir: First of all, this was better than USC-Texas and Michigan-Ohio State. Second of all, I make it a motion for that play to be called the "hook and lateral." That makes so much more sense than the "hook and ladder." Mainly because it's a hook, then a lateral. Also, the statue of Liberty Play should be called a "Fakey Wakey, Eggs and Two Point Conversion."

Ethan: Well, they've already changed the name once.  Prior to 1876 it was just called the Open Expanse of Water off the Southwest Tip of Manhattan Play.  Thank God the French gave us that statue.  Which leads me to this question:  was that last two-point conversion by Boise State more impressive than the Annexation of Puerto Rico in Little Giants.  I say yes if only because Bob Stoops is more evil than Ed O'Neill.

Amir: I think even more impressive than all of that was Loyd Carr's ability to blow yet another bowl game. Last I heard, the Wolverine faithful were asking for a USC rematch. Mike Hart even said, and dont quote me because I'm making this up, "If this game was in a MORE neutral territory, like... say... Cheyenne, Wyoming... totally different ball game." I wanna hear from all the Michigan fans defend their team now. The same ones who were chanting "Re-match!" should be chanting "Never-mind!"

Ethan: I mean, the rematch is what America wanted to see, although Urban Meyer has already had three press conferences saying that Florida has earned the right to get beaten by USC just since lunch today.  The Big 10 has just had it rough this bowl season, although Penn State came through big in the Outback Bowl, allowing Joe Paterno to add to his record of Most Wins by a Coach Who Never Speaks to Anyone During the Game.  How is he coaching?  He's sitting in the press box with no headset, and the only time I saw him talk was to ask a waiter to bring him a hot dog.  It's amazing.