Ethan: The Final Four is set, and let me be the first to congratulate you on your bold prediction that Ohio State wouldn't make it.  That was so...incorrect.  Are you now a believer in Oden's mastery?  Do you now spit your gum on the court, then pick it up and put it back in your mouth in an effort to emulate Thad Matta?  Or do you weep at home while clutching a Memphis pennant?  

Amir: I actually thought Memphis was the only team that didn't have a shot at Ohio State. I thought Xavier had an upset in them, and I was pretty sure Tennessee would run Oden into the ground. Oddly enough I was right about both! And they still won. I guess I'll formally apologize, Ohio State is not one dimensional. But they're still the worst one seed!

Ethan:  You'll never give up will you? I picked Georgetown to win it all, so I'm sticking with them.  I think Dr. Hibbert can take care of Oden, and Jeff Green may be fearless enough to take it into the paint on him.

Amir: Jeff Green is the most talented athlete in the tournament (named after a Jewish substitute teacher).

Ethan: It's great to watch Oden on defense, though; the other teams act like the lane is made of lava.  Of course, some part of me wishes Oden and Conley could have made Roy Williams cry, but you take tears where you can get them, especially since Dick Vermeil's retired.  I'm taking Georgetown in the final.  What about the other side?  

Amir: These are the same teams as last year, so I have no reason to believe the game won't be exactly the same. My prediction is 73-57 Florida. Then after the game my prediction is a Florida celebration equipped with hats and new t-shirts! And a new Joakim Noah dance,  no doubt.

Ethan:  Florida's looked pretty dominant at times so far, but at the same time, a loss would get Billy Donovan to Kentucky a few days earlier.  I'm torn, but I'll use my normal tiebreaker:  team with the most superfluous names.  Luc Richard Mbah a Moute you're my winner!  UCLA takes it.  Who's winning it all?  I want for you to be wrong in such a public forum for a third week in a row.

Ethan: The first weekend of March Madness is behind us, and after spending seventy straight hours on the couch, it's now chemically bonded to my skin.  Could be worse, though; I could have contended that Ohio State sucks like, say, Amir did.

Amir: Oh please. All I said is that Ohio State would not make the final four, and if it weren't for a clearly miscalled flagrant foul, they wouldn't have made the sweet 16.

Ethan: Oh, come on, that little touch foul?  I was more impressed that Oden was able to foul anyone that hard with a bad right hand.  When he's fully healed he'll be able to murder people with his bare hands.

Amir: If I were Oden I wouldn't even show up for the next game against Tennessee. Imagine that: a self-imposed suspension. NBA scouts love maturity!

Ethan: At least one Big Ten team made the Sweet 16.  Their fans were right:  it's a truly underrated conference.  Isn't that right, Wisconsin? 

Amir: Wow, what a debacle they were. At least Bo Ryan can now return his red suit for a full refund.

Ethan:  It's going to be so awkward when he runs into Sidney Lowe at the Emporium of Ugly Red Blazers.  How about Butler?  I can honestly say at this point that A.J. Graves is my favorite Gremlin still alive in the tournament.  If they play their sweet sixteen game after midnight or near water, watch out! 

Ethan: Nothing but college hoops this week!  The big news first:  what do you think of LSU women's coach Pokey Chatman resigning over an apparent affair with a former player?

Amir:  I think I'd rather sleep with Kevin Durant than any Lady Tiger. No offense, he's just so talented!

Ethan:  I'm just surprised that someone, somewhere found a women's basketball player attractive.  But we'll save the rest of this for our WNBA blog:  Swin Cash, Homey.  Any general pointers on filling out a bracket?

Amir: Take no upsets. You hear me? Every year brackets are ruined by brave souls who think they can foresee upsets. Don't be an idiot. See the numbers next to that team name? Pick the lower one. Then when it gets to all ones? Pick at random. Every year my mother told me to pick the very best one and you are it.

Ethan:  I'm a fan of looking at defensive statistics; the easiest upsets to pick are overrated big-conference schools who don't play D.  Every year a bunch of them get dropped by smaller schools who can score in bunches.  Also, if Tubby Smith coaches a team, don't bet on it.  Ever.  He's turning into the college basketball Isiah Thomas, and not in an unstoppable-point-guard-for-Indiana kind of way.  Thoughts on the East region?

Ethan: Big week for basketball and football, moderately big week for baseball...and I think someone, somewhere is still playing hockey.  Thoughts on conference tourneys?

Amir: You can have your Big 10, Big East, Pac 10 nonsense. This time of the year is all about mid-majors for me! For one game a year I indulge in my deep and abiding passion for all things Winthrop!

Ethan:  I've been watching the mid-major championship games, and there are a lot of scary teams for your bracket.  Oral Roberts won a tough game last night, but they've already beaten Kansas and can bost that they're Ned Flanders' alma mater...I could see them winning as a fifteen seed given the right matchup.

Amir: Honestly, who cares about Florida, Texas, or UCLA? I want to know which teams will be losing to them this year. I hope its somebody new! I'm sick of hearing about Northern Arizona. Gimme something fresh! Give me Stetson!

Ethan: Will you calm down? Stetson is 6-12 in conference play.

Amir: Whatever. Long live the Hatters!