Ethan: Another week, another World Series. In honor of the looming NBA season, we're skipping and interesting fact this week in lieu of peppering the column with our favorite anecdotes about J.R. Rider. So keep on the look out for those. First, though, let's talk World Series. I thought the Rockies were unbeatable. What happened?

Amir: Turns out Josh Beckett is unbeatable. The real question will be Game 2 tonight. If the Rockies can't take a split in Boston, they're pretty much done. My favorite part of the box score were the Rockies' ERA's. Francis had a 13.50, Morales topped that with a nice 94.50, and not to be outdone, Speier tossed a mathematically tricky N/A. What's next?

Ethan: Sure, Speier didn't record an out while giving up three walks, but none of those turned into earned runs. Now that's quality pitching! At least for the Rockies.

Amir: Jeff Francis was awful, just brutal through the first three innings, but he only gave up four runs in those innings.

Ethan: Why is Jeff Francis a starting pitcher? He could be making millions more by playing the lovable, nerdy friend who never gets the girl in bad teen dramas.The Rockies were still in until he gave up two more in the fourth. It's only one game, though, and they can still win the series. The same way J.R. Rider came back after spending the night in jail for throwing a milkshake through a drive-in window.

Amir: FIRE IN THE HOLE! What about Josh Beckett? Is it too unreasonable to ask him to pitch four games in a row? I mean, he will have a whole winter to rest his shoulder. How much longer until he starts for the Yankees?

Ethan: Another week, another Rockies sweep, another column. At this point, it's impossible to bet against them. I've learned my lesson. I'm picking them in the World Series no matter who wins the ALCS. Same with the Super Bowl, NBA Finals, and 2008 presidential election. They're an unstoppable juggernaut. This long layoff won't kill them, will it?

Amir: I hear in the eight days they have off, the Rockies are going to be playing ten split squad games against each other in which both sides will win. They're so good they're defying logic, people! How have they cracked the baseball code?

Ethan: Well, as one of the idiots who kept picking against them, I've been trying to figure it out. The defense is superb, and the non-Fuentes relievers have been lights out in the playoffs. The offense is one of those great ones where there's really only one superstar in Holliday, but the rest of the guys are all above average/dangerous enough that you don't want to face them.

Amir: Tell that to Garret Atkins' mom! She says he's number one!

Ethan: Also, I'm convinced that they're using black magic. Why else did Brad Hawpe have that chicken bone soaked in Brandon Webb's blood hanging around his neck the whole series? Can they beat either ALCS team?

Amir and Ethan present a very special VIDEO edition of Straight Cash, Homey. Finally -- no more of that boring "text stuff." Just click play, open your eyes, and enjoy CollegeHumor's weekly (and only) sports column.(Video after the "Keep Reading...")

Ethan: Let's cut to the chase: you're a Pac-10 fan, how angry are you that USC got jumped by LSU for the top spot in the polls?

Amir: I don't like USC, but LSU jumping them in the rankings is the completely insane. It's madness! I know it doesn't really matter now, but If you are first, and you win, it should stay that way.

Ethan: Calm down.

Amir: No you calm down! LSU was up 10-9 on Tulane at half. They were favored by 40! What about that screams "Best Team in the Nation?" I already hated the Associated Press for their lackluster reporting skills, but this is just a whole new level.

Ethan: They won 34-9; I didn't realize that it's the College Football Against the Spread AP Poll. Tulane came out fired up and made some nice plays; I wish they'd gotten more credit, but Pam Ward was doing the play-by-play and butchered every Cajun name. By the end of it, she was just calling everyone "Smith."

Amir: I respect that.

Ethan: I love this week's poll; Boston College is a deserving number six, Cal is solid in the three spot after beating Oregon, and Kentucky is somehow number eight. Last chance to get on the bandwagon. I do think Wisconsin is completely underwhelming at number five, though; it seems like they could easily be 3-2 after the last two weeks. And they gave up 31 points to the Citadel. Who's overrated in your mind?

Amir: Wisconsin is a very weak 5-0 after beating Iowa and Michigan State at home by a combined seven, but I think Hawaii, at 15 is pretty ludicrous as well. They are the Phoenix Suns of college football. Sad thing is, we won't know how good they are until they really get tested... in the Fiesta Bowl I guess. Is South Florida for real?