Amir and Ethan's Articles

3 total in November 2007
  • CH Sports Weekly: Now Only on NFL Network


    Ethan: What a week for college football! Has Mizzou finally made a believer out of you? Has Chase Daniel done enough to get you on his Heisman bandwagon? He completed 40 of 49 passes without throwing a pick against Kansas; he's like the anti-Eli Manning. They're going to the title game, right?

    He's more of an "At-Large" kind of coach anyway
    Amir: All that game made me believe was that Kansas was overrated. They hadn't played a quality opponent all year, and when they do it's not even really that close. Mizzou being underdogs vs. Oklahoma is perfectly indicative of what people really think about the BCS rankings. Forget the rankings, let Vegas decide the best two teams, they know everything!

    Ethan: Kansas hadn't played a quality opponent? You're willing to say that and risk hate mail from all of the Central Michigan fans out there? You gotta have some Chippewa pride, man.

    Amir: Chippe-wha?

    Ethan: You're right, though, Kansas' soft schedule came back to bite them, but I like Mizzou against Oklahoma. They only lost by ten the last time they teams played, and that was with four turnovers. Control the ball a little better, and they'll be tough. Both of these teams are better than two-loss LSU, though, right?


  • CH Sports Weekly: We Would Leave the Knicks, Too


    Ethan: Another week, another new BCS title game match-up. Hold strong, Duke football; you could break into the BCS by default at some point. Have Illinois fans started GiveRonZookaRaise.com yet?

    This is Ron Zook inquring as to why "Little Women" isn't in the Louisa May Alcott section of his local library.
    Amir: No, but they should. 1 win in 2003, 3 in 2004, 2 in 2005/6 and now they have 8 in their last 10, including a win over Ohio State? It's amazing, they're actually fighting.

    Ethan: That game was great to watch because the outcome never really felt in doubt; Illinois beat the crap out of Ohio State and made Todd Boeckman look like Peyton Manning. In a bad Sunday-night-against-the-Chargers kind of way. Ron Zook must have stayed up all night texting recruits, "Did U C that big win?"

    Amir: "I M Super Bored. Wanna Hang? Sup. nintendo?"

    Ethan: Also, I'm thinking of naming my first son "Juice" after that game. The only career options with a name like that are great college QB and murder-for-hire. Either way, the kid would have a future. Surprised that Michigan lost to Wisconsin?

    Amir: Why would that surprise me? Michigan is not a good football team. They say you should lose your games early rather than late. Michigan is testing this theory out by doing both.


  • CH Sports Weekly: The Only Sports Column with an Asterisk!*


    Ethan: Another week, more college football questions answered. After Oregon absolutely punished Arizona state, Dennis Dixon has to be the Heisman front runner, right? And to a lesser extent, a Wooden Award semi-finalist?

    The Ravens and Knicks are salivating right now.
    Amir: It appears to be a two man race right now with Dixon edging McFadden, because Oregon is the better team. The only question is, will Dixon get drafted in the 6th round or just go straight to the NBA?

    Ethan: I've asked you before to never compare anyone to my hero Charlie Ward. He's like a religion to me.

    Amir: He's like a point-guard to me.

    Ethan: McFadden looked like a young version of Adrian Peterson last weekend, which is pretty impressive, and Matt Ryan has certainly played his way out of the conversation. The national title picture is actually much more interesting. What title game would you most like to see?

    Amir: Hawaii vs. The Patriots.

    Ethan: I know Ohio State and LSU are the current match up, but I think Oregon-LSU would be the best game. Who knows what trick plays Les Miles might try? Fake a field goal on first and ten from your own twenty, Les!

    Amir: Les Miles coaches real football like he's coaching Madden, it's great. I'd like to see Oregon and LSU as well. After Ohio State's flop last year they shouldn't be allowed back for three seasons. That should be a rule. Bowl games are a privilege, not a right.


  • Amir and Ethan
    About Me

    Height: 11'11"

    Weight: 320 pound

    Position: Writers/Point Forward

    Career Highlights: Amir and Ethan is a monster with the head of two people, and the body of two people...averaged 5.8 blocks/game in a brief stint with the 1995 Golden State Warriors...Amir and Ethan once defeated each other for the WBA heavyweight title of the world by double KO. Everyone was truly a winner....Amir and Ethan won the 1992 NBA Slam Dunk contest while competing under the name "Cedric Ceballos." ... To answer your question, yes, they could see through the blindfold...Amir and Ethan maintain a blog of sports jokes at StraightCashHomey.net

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