Ethan: Thank God it's Wednesday again, because I couldn't wait another day to talk about this week's biggest sports story: did you SEE the new jerseys the "Tampa Bay Rays" will be wearing next year? Ugh, I liked it better when they were in league with the devil and had green in their colors.

Amir: If you were a Devil Ray would you rather settle for a new jersey OR get moved to New Jersey?

Ethan: Tough call. I'd probably rather take BP in Piscataway. Another NFL week is behind us, and are you as confused as I am about the Saints? Sure, they weren't going to be as good as last year, but the Titans made Drew Brees look like the love child of J.P. Losman and Rex Grossman.

Amir: Yeah, I just don't understand. Was Joe Horn that important? Sure the defense isn't that good, but their defense never was. What happened to the Drew Brees that would throw for 513 yards and five scores? I hope they don't need another devastating disaster to wake them up.

Ethan: That offense is catastrophic, does that count?

Amir: Doubtful.

Ethan: Now they're without their only real running back, Deuce, who got injured on that checkdown pass that Brees should never have thrown. Not only is Brees turning the ball over, he's hanging his players out to dry on plays like that one. I can't believe that Brees is this bad. He was standing on the sidelines on Monday night with a somber look on his face like someone had just told him his birthmark was cancerous. On the plus side, can you believe the Packers are this good?

Ethan: So we're back after missing last week due to either Rosh Hashanah or you not wanting me to tell the readers about the clubbing I gave you in fantasy in week one.

Amir: A terrible way to start off the Jewish New Year...

Ethan: I guess we have to talk about Belichick's cameras. Going on the commentary I've read elsewhere, this cheating signals the end of humanity as we know it. Not only are the Pats' titles tainted, the entire world's morality is. Repent now and save your soul, sinner.

Amir: Who do you think is worse, Belichick or Hitler? According to most articles I've read the jury is still out. Though I'm leaning towards Hitler.

Ethan: I won't be happy until they jail him for life.

Amir: Hitler or Belicheck?

Ethan: Belicheck. He's football's equivalent of O.J. Simpson.

Ethan: Two week delay in columns, but we couldn't wait another week to write one. By that time, Michigan football may have been demoted to the Division Formerly Known as I-AA. Greatest upset ever in college football?

Amir: Maybe so. If you are Mike Hart and Chad Henne, who came back for one more shot at Ohio State, how hilariously disappointing is this? Now the best you can hope for is one more shot at Youngstown State.

Ethan: I think the bigger upset is that Lloyd Carr still has a job. What does he have to do to get fired? Walk out to midfield and take a leak during the opening coin flip?

Amir: "Call it in the air, boys..."

Ethan: App State deserves their credit for being dominant. Sure, they came into this matchup as the Washington Generals, but you have to remember the Washington Generals are still really good even if they normally lose. So how will Michigan finish this year? Winning record?

Amir: Yeah, just looking at their schedule I'm seeing easy wins against Notre Dame (who is actually even worse than Michigan), Eastern Michigan, Illinois... I don't think they were bad, I just think they were ill prepared.

Ethan: You're calling Illinois an easy win? Expect a flurry of angry text messages from Ron Zook within the next few minutes.

Amir: They were one field goal away from winning that game. The real indicator will be that game against Oregon. If they can rebound at home vs. the Ducks they'll be fine. What is more impressive: Appalachian State winning, or George Mason making it to the final four two years ago?