Ethan: Let's say you're John Paxson. Are you taking Rose or Beasley? Or are you going to skip the draft altogether and just brag about the shot you hit to ice the 93 Finals?

Who wouldn't want this guy?! Under the legs dunks are worth 50 points, right?

Ethan: It looks like they're going to take Rose, right? Poor Vinny Del Negro. He finally gets to coach, and he gets a roster that's all guards and Joakim Noahs. Also, his name is Vinny Del Negro, which couldn't have been easy between ages 6 and 15.

Amir: I guess they learned the lesson of the 1984 Blazers and just want the best player rather than the best player that fits their current roster. If Derrick Rose really is the next Chris Paul maybe the Bulls are now just two years away from losing to the Cavs in the conference finals!

Ethan: Rose is definitely the best player, but I don't see Chicago winning with him in the short term, do you? Could they trade any of their other guards/wings to get a good big man? Sign and trade Ben Gordon? Is their plan just to hope Noah figures "this offense thing" out? Don't they have to think about taking Beasley? Or hope for a Bill Cartwright comeback?

Amir: I guess their thinking is that Rose plus the big man they can get for Hinrich is better than Gordon and Beasely. Though now there are reports that Miami doesn't even want Beasely. What a difference a month and three inches makes...

Ethan: Who's going to trade an elite big guy for Hinrich? Sure, Beasley can't play D, but Noah could help cover for him there in addition to teaching him how to scream, get arrested, and have a terrible haircut. Watch out, Chicago! You think Miami's going to trade its pick?

Amir: No. But I also didn't know that Miami had a new coach named Erik Spoelstra until two days ago, so what do I know! I think Beasely is a great compliment to D-Wade and Marion. That's a pretty good trio to compete in the east. I call them "The Medium Three!"

Ethan: Who else do you like in the draft? Mayo? And...is there anyone else you'd feel comfortable drafting?

Ethan: UBUNTU! UBUNTU! (I'm not even sure what that means. It's probably a translation of "Rout the Lakers...")

How can you be speechless AND loud? It just doesn't make sense!

Ethan: Maybe you were watching this more closely than I was, but did Phil Jackson even coach the team last night? I think he was just sitting on the bench on mescaline. Nobody ever realized, "We can't rebound...maybe we shouldn't just shoot one-timer threes to give the ball back to the Celts on every possession?"

Amir: What do you want him to do? Trade for Leon Powe in the second quarter? Lakers are an offensive team. If they can't score they can't win. I've learned to never second guess the zen-master. He knows all.

Ethan: With the game plan they had last night, the Lakers winning as even less likely than Jordan Farmar finding earmuffs that fit. It wasn't just that their shots weren't falling; they were rebounding terribly and had too many defensive lapses. Let's give credit to the Celts, though; KG is now one of the world's most successful lunatics. He's right up there with Tom Cruise and Greenspan.

Amir: Did you see him after the game talking/babbling to Michelle Tafoya? I couldn't tell if he was really happy or just coming down from a drug so strong it makes heroin look like bubble gum. He was drooling, he was incoherent, he was yelling... I thought he would just burst into raw energy like the end of Powder and shoot out of the TD Banknorth Garden in a concentrated beam of light. God I hate that guy.

Ethan: Oh, how can you hate that? It's entertaining. If the Lakers had won, Kobe would be having to scramble to find kids to hold for photo ops. Since they lost, who knows how he's going to use his kids to curry public favor now; there's a decent chance Kobe appears in public breastfeeding a kid just to show what a sensitive guy he is. How great is it that the list of recent NBA championship coaches is: Pop, Riley, Larry Brown, Phil Jackson, Rudy T and...Doc Rivers?

Ethan: All of those "MVP" chants last night were for Sasha Vujacic, right?

Amir at Game 2. Shortly before he was eaten alive by 17,000 rabid fans.

Ethan: Last night answered a lot of questions for me. I feel like the Celtics can probably win a game in LA, and they can do well when KG struggles. One question remains, though: is there someone in the arena spraying Kendrick Perkins with a hose? Because after a minute in the game, he's far too damp for it to be just normal sweat.

Amir: No wonder Odom got in foul trouble. Can you imagine trying to guard that guy? It's like leaning up against a seal or something. I would rather be sitting down watching the game from courtside seats, too!

Ethan: You know, just when everyone's saying Doc Rivers is a terrible strategic coach, he goes and does something brilliant like having Ray Allen guard Kobe one-on-one at the end of a close game. How the hell did that seem like a good idea? That might have worked ten years ago.

Amir: They tried trapping Kobe and he just split the defense with a pass and Lamar found Sasha for a wide open three. Then they tried guarding him one on one, and he just embarrassed Allen like it was opening night of "He Got Game."

Ethan: Spike Lee is the original Kobe Bryant.