Ethan: College football! (I'm too giddy to say anything coherent.)

Amir: Let's go straight into what matters: Best names you've heard hyped so far. I'll start: Knowshawn Moreno.

Ethan: I like any running back whose name sounds like a complete imperative sentence, so I'm going to agree with you. But really, any season in which there are also Heisman hopefuls named Beanie and Devine is going to be pretty good. Do you agree with Georgia in the top spot?

Amir: I hate debates between two teams at number one because if it's really debatable they'll play eachother at the end, anyway! But I think USC should get the top spot until Pete Carroll dies or they lose to Stanford again.

Ethan: Just because he's your Facebook friend doesn't mean you always have to side with Pete Carroll; he's never going to leave an awesome YouTube video on your Wall the way Mark Richt would.

Amir: I could do without the Superpokes, though.

Ethan: My favorite early-season storyline is that Notre Dame got votes in both polls. Were these voters just thawed out from a cryogenic freeze that began in the 50s? Or did they like the leadership they saw from Jimmy Claussen at the Beer Olympics?

Amir: Maybe its a Steve Spurrier Duke thing where he always gives them a vote as a sadistic practical joke or something -- I forget the story. Who do you think has the best chance of de-throning USC or Georgia to play the last game of the season?

Ethan: Let's make this fast; I have to be at one of the Chinese gymnasts' ninth birthday parties soon. What's your favorite event so far?

Amir: Besides the basics (basketball and swimming) I'm actually really getting into gymnastics. There's something funny about these incredibly talented American gymnasts who would obviously be ridiculed by the same people they're giving shout outs to, competing against these Asian robots who, I assume, were penalized .8 points for smiling in their national competitions.

Ethan: I respect the male gymnasts; it's hard to say anything against a guy who has 95% of his body mass tied up in his biceps. Raj Bhavsar is the most intense-looking guy I've ever seen; I'm pretty sure his eyes could bore holes in concrete. Not to be crass, but is there a more beautiful Olympian than Stephanie Rice? Not only is she really good, she's really hot. And don't say Carlos Boozer, or I'll know you're lying.

Amir: I'm only attracted to younger athletes whose age is disputed, that way I don't feel like a pervert. Question: If the Americans swam last nights 4 x 200m freestyle relay yesterday with their gold medals already on, would they still have won?

Ethan: Yes. At one point, I was really hoping Phelps would just stop and take a leak in the pool, then keep swimming a full body length ahead of everyone else. Was the 4 x 100m freestyle on Sunday night the best finish you've ever seen in a sporting event? It was right up there with the 2001 World Series and the end of a game of NBA Jam I played in 1996 for me.

Amir: Not only was it a crazy comeback, he did it against the swimmer next to him, a Frenchman who had guaranteed victory. That was like the perfect storm of awesome. Are you following this total medal count as closely as I am?

Ethan: Am I the only person who thinks this Favre standoff is about enter a deadly end game that involves him walking around with a high-powered rifle, smiling his fake "Aw, shucks" grin while picking off random members of the Packers' front office while John Madden gushes about his enthusiasm?

Amir: Every day brings a completely new twist. And on days that there are no twists, that's the twist. BREAKING NEWS: RELATIVELY QUIET DAY AT PACKER CAMP.

Ethan: Did he think he was being particularly clever by showing up and conceding the starting job to Rodgers? "Yeah, I'll be the backup. You don't have to release me or anything. Now, about that $12 million..."

Amir: Favre lives in some sort of bizarro world where work is inversely proportional to money. If he stays retired, he'll get $25M. If he plays as a back up he'll get $12M. And his ideal situation is starting somewhere and getting paid less than that. It's like welfare on steroids.

Ethan: I thought welfare on steroids was Sammy Sosa's contract by the end of his career. I'm warming on the idea of Favre to the Jets. They're really just one Hall of Famer away from being 7-9!

Amir: Bring back Curtis Martin!

Ethan: What exactly is Favre even thinking at this point? Does he want to play with Jerricho Cotchery that badly? Or does Favre have him in a keeper league he really, really wants to win this year? Or will he just follow Bubba Franks anywhere?

Amir: I think he just wants to get injured. He's done everything but tear an ACL. Why does Daunte Culpepper get all the fun?!

Ethan: If this results in Favre getting his roll on, it will all have been worth it. Does Tampa Bay win the Super Bowl with him?