Ethan: FIRE MILLEN! Sorry, force of habit.

Amir: What's weirder, the fact that it took so long for Millen to get the boot, or the fact that Jon Kitna guaranteed he'd be fired ten times this year?

Ethan: I wonder if he's dusting off the old resume to get a new job. "Ah, I see St. Louis sucks...maybe they could use a new mastermind like me. Charles Rogers, start packing my bags!" On to people with jobs: who's your biggest surprise at 3-0?

Amir: Gotta be Buffalo. They're officially the AFC East favorites. Though eeking out a win at home against Oakland isn't too convincing. I think the biggest surprise is Baltimore being 2-0. I would have totally thought they would have played three games by now.

Ethan: I'm going with a Kerry Collins led Tennessee team, although their schedule's been soft and is about to get brutal. They've got Minnesota, then at Baltimore, and they still have two with Indy, a Chicago, Pitt, the Jets, and the Packers left. Plus, they play on Thanksgiving, and I can't trust LenDale to pay attention to the game when there's that much food at hand.

Amir: Madden: "Come back with my Turducken!"

Ethan:Who's worse: Chiefs or Rams? Congrats, Chase Daniel, you're leading the best football team in Missouri.

Amir: It has to be the Rams. They've been outscored 29 to 116 this season! Though I like their strategy of trying to start Trent Green again. I guess they're hoping 1999 repeats itself and they're just one season-ending injury away from finding a new Kurt Warner!

Ethan: I think putting a guy with a concussion problem behind the Rams' o-line is borderline negligent. What are the Rams trying to do, put the kids of Trent Green's neurologist through college? Who's your favorite unattractive-but-effective QB this year: Cutler or Rodgers?

Ethan: Cheer up, Buckeyes fans. If only field goals counted, you would have won 3-0!

Amir: It takes a strong man to admit that he's wrong, but last week when I predicted a USC beat down by at least three touchdowns... well I guess I should have said four touchdowns and I'm sorry!

Ethan: I guess we both underestimated Beanie Wells' role in the Buckeyes' secondary. And we underestimated just how smelly Todd Boeckman could be. 21 pass attempts for 84 yards and two picks? He couldn't even start for the Bears. Well, no more than seven or eight games, at least. Want to keep talking about your beloved USC?

Amir: What's there to talk about? They're going to be favored by at least 14 in every game this season so barring a major meltdown they're going to run the table... with all nine of their running backs.

Ethan: Oregon could give them some trouble in a few weeks, but that's a home game. Also, if Charlie Weis gets off the injury report in time for their game against Notre Dame, watch out! True or false: knocking Weis down will probably be the most impressive thing Michigan does all s

Ethan: Beware East Carolina! They're making us all like Pirates again after that terrible third Pirates of the Carribean movie. Do they keep winning?

Amir: They're like the opposite of every powerhouse team: two difficult games at first then an easy conference schedule.'uestion, who do you like in the title game -- ECU or USC?

Ethan: Tough call. ECU is 2-0 against teams with "Virginia" in their name, while USC is only 1-0. So I guess you're saying USC will definitely win this weekend?

Amir: By at least three touchdowns. Bet on it.

Ethan: You're putting a lot of stock into the scare against Ohio? That was an obvious trap game, and the Buckeyes didn't have their Heisman contender.

Amir: If excuses were sweater vests, you and Tressel would be in a heated competition right now.

Ethan:Can you even be a homer for a school you didn't attend? I guess I can't complain as long as you keep starting Matt Leinart on your fantasy team and yelling "Go Trojans!" whenever Kurt Warner gets sacked.

Amir: That's just because I hate Northern Iowa.

Ethan: I think USC will win, but not by three TDs. Do you think Washington will celebrate its TDs against Oklahoma? Will they even score any TDs to celebrate?

Amir: What an accurate interpretation of a terrible rule. How is throwing a football into the air excessive, but spiking it into the floor adequate? Just more pro-gravity propaganda from the NCAA!

Ethan: Sorry, Georgia...you can't let Georgia Southern score 21 points and expect to keep the top spot. See you boys in the Capital One Bowl, although I'll really just be watching for the mascot contest. You want to be a big USC homer now?

Amir: You already made fun of me last week for being a USC homer. Now that MY BOYS jumped up to number one, you're accusing me of being a bandwagon fan? Me and all sixteen Trojan running backs are offended.

Ethan: We'll see if they're still at the top spot in two weeks after they play Ohio State. I did like USC's scheduling strategy, though. Instead of playing some little cupcake school, they did something only marginally ballsier and played a bad BCS conference school on the road. For some reason beating UVA sounds much more impressive than beating a school with a compass direction in the name. Since it never gets less fun: remember when Michigan was good at football?

Amir: No, not really. Is it weird that I still blame Lloyd Carr?

Ethan: Not at all. Next year they'll probably just schedule some Pop Warner team from Flint, then lose by 23. On the topic of perennial disappointments, when is Clemson going to stop being so highly regarded in the preseason? Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me fifteen consecutive seasons, shame on the person who gave me an AP poll ballot.

Amir: I saw a piece on their thunder and lightning, Spiller and Davis, and was convinced! Then I saw they were downgraded to a tropical depression by Alabama. Not unlike Gustav.