Ethan: Go Western Kentucky! This just goes to show that if you rip off and recolor a McDonald's character as your mascot, you'll succeed. Look for UCLA to switch from the Bruins to the Purple Mayor McCheeses next year. What was your favorite moment of the first weekend of games?

Amir: Watching Duke lose of course! Isn't that everybody's favorite moment from every tournament? How can a team with so many white players be so bad at making threes?

Ethan: Greg Paulus' overbite screws up his depth perception from distances like that.

Amir: Makes sense.

Ethan: The best part was that it didn't seem like a fluke that they lost. When Belmont should have beaten you, a fairly good team like West Virginia doesn't even feel like an upset. Remember this when Coach K has to lead Team USA next summer against Serbia, the Belmont of nations.

Amir: Watch out for Mid-Major Croatia!

Ethan: Does Stanford have the best collection of names ever assembled on one team?

Amir: Robin. Brook. Taj Finger. They've got it all! Including a monopoly on seven foot twins in America I guess.

Ethan: I like that they're Robin and Brook. It's like their dad found out they was going to have to pay for twins and immediately got his revenge by giving them girl names and making Robin get the worst haircut of all time. Will they beat Texas tomorrow night?

Amir: It's going to be close but I like Stanford. If only they were part of the West region they wouldn't have to worry about "good opponents." Just ask UCLA. Has there ever been an easier path to the final eight? Or elite four?

Ethan: Let's jump right into this: I'll bet on Mount St. Mary's, but you'd better be giving me points. Four and a half, at the very least.

Amir: Are you talking about yesterdays play-in game? Because I don't bet on day old basketball games... anymore.

Ethan: Nope, against Carolina. What's jumping out at you from the East bracket?

Amir: North Carolina probably has the hardest second round game of any 1 seed, but after that I think they have the easiest path to the final four. Tennessee doesn't scare anybody... but they entertain everybody!

Ethan: Like clowns. Only not scary.

Amir: They're like the Suns of the NCAA. You think Phoenix will agree to trade Shaq for Wayne Chism?

Ethan: Bruce Pearl would have to sign Chism to some sort of forty-year, three-billion dollar contract to make the cap numbers work. Can George Mason be this year's George Mason? I see Notre Dame destroying them. As a side question, if Kyle Mcalarney is six feet tall, how does he look like a gnome?

Amir: In the land of giants every six footer is a dwarf.

Ethan: Thank you for that deep thought.

Amir: Sorry, I've been reading lots of fortune cookies recently... and they like Tennessee not making the Sweet 16! You've heard it here first.

Ethan: Who's beating them? Butler? I don't think Tennessee plays D well enough to make the Final Four, but unless Chris Lofton turns to stone after he looks at A.J. Graves, I think they're in the clear. Although maybe I shouldn't bet against a leprechaun so close to St. Patrick's day. See any other upsets in the first two rounds?

Ethan: Bubble.

Amir: Is that how we're starting?

Ethan: Did I stutter? I said, "Bubble."

Amir: It must be that time of year again, when we take words like "Bracketology" "At-Large bids" "Davidson" and "Joe Lunardi" out of the closet for a month or so before putting them back into the basement of our minds.

Ethan: Says you. I have a Joe Lunardi poster in my room. I really can't believe the ACC and Big Ten may only get four teams in this year, especially with this shrinking bubble. Way to choke, South Alabama! Can't our nation count on your for anything? Does Arizona make it in?

Amir: 8-10 in the Pac-10 does not bode well for their chances... Unless assistant coach Miles Simon laces up again and takes them on a miraculous Pac-10 tournament run, I don't see it.

Ethan: Where's A.J. Bramlett and Michael Dickerson when you need them? They've stumbled badly down the stretch, but their strength of schedule is either 1 or 2 and their RPI is 29. Also, Lute Olson's not busy, so he could just go glare at the selection committee they crumble. Bubble bobble the case for another bubble team.

Amir: Kentucky won their bubble battle with Florida which means the bubble may be better for the Cats than for the bubbling bursting Bubble Gators. Don't you get carry-over points from last years tourney?

Ethan: Only if they bring back Joakim Noah. The Bulls would probably be happy to lend him out for a week or two. Oh, and take Chris Duhon's whiny ass while you're at it.

Ethan: I never thought I'd say this, but what a day to be Aaron Rodgers! Will there even be an NFL for him to play in, though? I was under the impression that Favre was the entire league.

Amir: Who do you think is sadder? Donald Driver, Greg Jennings, Doug Pederson, Sportscenter, Wrangler Jeans, Bart Starr or the people of Green Bay, Wisconsin?

Ethan: John Madden. He's wiping his tears away with a fat steak at an Outback somewhere. It's like a greasy, bloody handkerchief for him.

Amir: Boom!

Ethan: It's exciting to finally find out if Aaron Rodgers is any good, though. All of his fellow Jeff Tedford students have been so good in the NFL; I think he could at least be the next Akili Smith. Maybe even the next Joey Harrington. Can the Pack win next year?

Amir: Sure. Just not the Superbowl.

Ethan: Like most real fans, I'm only concerned with the preseason.

Amir: Best case scenario for the Pack: they have a Ben Roethlisberger situation on their hands with a capable quarterback who just has to not screw up and ride the defense to a Superbowl win. Or as analysts call it, "Managing the game."

Ethan: Hey, that "capable quarterback" is apparently worth $102 million now. Something tells me this isn't the year Brian St. Pierre takes the Steelers' starting job, either. Have the Jets contact you for a free agent contract yet? They've signed everyone else in the country.

Amir: Can Alan Faneca play quarterback? If not then I don't think it really matters who the Jets signed. I'm more concerned with people leaving the Patriots. Asante Samuel said he signed with Philly because he wanted to be in a situation that allowed him to win.

Ethan: Javon Walker signed with the Raiders because he wanted to be in a situation that didn't allow him to win.

Amir: When there are no expectations, you can't fail!

Ethan: I'm excited for the Bears' Grossman-to-Marty-Booker passing attack. We might see a 2-0 game in Chicago next year. Alright, on to basketball: I'm just going to ask you if you know what state Drake is in