Amir: See this is a classic example of somebody only doing half the research. Graham is a former Aussie rules football player and you know what the temperature is going to be like in Tampa this week? A Melbourne-esque 71. That's the type of humidity Graham needs to feel at home. Take the favorite here boys, trust me.
Length of the National Anthem: Over/Under 2 min and 3 seconds
Ethan: Jennifer Hudson's going to be a dream girl for anyone who takes the over here. After all that's happened to her this year, there's no way she doesn't get a little choked up and add some vocal flair to this anthem. The smart money's on her stretching out that last note in "the land of the free" to at least 13 seconds. This one's a star-spangled lock.
Amir: I hate agreeing with you, so I'll one up you. This one is the lock of the millenium! I'm going to put my kids through college by betting the over here, and not only that, they're going to have a 19 meal-a-week plan. That attention monger is gonna make sure she's getting her face time. You can't buy that publicity -- though at the rate of Superbowl commercials, it'll be worth roughly ten million dollars.
Kurt Warner Super Bowl XXXIV -148.5 (-105) yards vs. Kurt Warner Super Bowl XLIII +148.5 (-125)
Ethan: Gotta go with this year's Kurt Warner over the 2000 Super Bowl Kurt Warner. Why? Because it's the same guy. He's not a day older. Jesus, people, how many times do you have to be told that Kurt Warner OWNS A TIME MACHINE before you finally listen? That graying hair is the most half-assed disguise ever. And now you want to bet AGAINST Warner's abilities to bend the space-time continuum to his own greedy whims? Why not just throw your money away?
by Amir and Ethan January 21, 2009
Ethan: Remember when you said that we couldn't write the column again until the Cardinals went to the Super Bowl? Well, here we are. I had to pull some Angels in the Outfield stuff to make this happen, so I hope you're happy.
Ethan: God's probably thinking the same thing most NFL GMs were: if you get Kurt, you're stuck with Brenda, too. Are we headed for a classic Kurt Warner 5-turnover meltdown?
Amir: I thought we call those classic Jake Delhomme 6-turnover meltdowns now.
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