Amir and Ethan's Articles

2 total in February 2009

  • Straight Cash Homey

    CH Sports Weekly: Only One of us is

    by Amir and Ethan February 18, 2009


    Ethan: Is it just me, or does A-Rod's forced sad face just make it look like he really, really has to go to the bathroom?

    Amir:  Those press conferences last forever, so maybe he does! But only because the bathroom is the only private space A-ROID has left to shoot up! A-Fraud! What's your favorite A-Pun?

    A rod.
    Ethan: I still like A-Rod. I've never even thought of how much he looked like Rod Stewart until I heard that nickname for the first time.

    Amir: NY Post had A-Hole. I think that's the end of the A-Road.

    Ethan: Do you even care about this story? I'm far more into baseball than most people I know, but I just sort of shrugged when I saw this. Were we supposed to believe that concurrently with everyone else in the league using steroids, this young phenom with a statuesque physique just happened to randomly show up but wasn't using the drugs himself?

    Amir: Yes. That's why starting today I only trust fat baseball players. Players who gain their strength from hamburgers. That's how Babe Ruth did it.
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  • Straight Cash Homey

    CH Sports Weekly: More Super Than Any Bowl

    by Amir and Ethan February 05, 2009


    Ethan: What a game! Kurt Warner is now 3-for-3 in starting Super Bowls that have really exciting finishes. And we were 16-for-16 on prop betting advice. We should be forced to write that column every year.

    Who said Ray Lewis didn't intimidate on Super Bowl Sunday? This is frightening.
    Amir: Steelers fans enjoyed the game because they won, Cardinals fans enjoyed the game because they were actually competitive, and commercial fans were just sorely disappointed. Two out of three ain't bad!

    Ethan: Commercial fans were disappointed? Speak for yourself. I was just sitting here wondering what in the hell I was going to do with all this used gold jewelry I've got sitting around.

    Amir: And I was wondering if Danica Patrick's morals were for sale. Turns out they are.

    Ethan: Can we go ahead and clear this up, though: that was a great game, but not the best Super Bowl ever. Or even the best in the last 12 months.

    Amir: Maybe the best fourth quarter ever, but not the best Superbowl. Most underrated moment: James Harrison beating the crap out of Arizona's Aaron Francisco. My God, I was only watching on TV but I was still scared for my life.

    Ethan: Watching James Harrison run that TD back was incredible. Is there anything better than watching a huge person try to outrun someone?

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Amir and Ethan
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