It's late at night and for whatever reason, you can't sleep. You try counting sheep, you try chugging NyQuil, you try flipping the pillow over to the "cool" side (Cool side, yeah right. Even the bed spread knows that side is a douche bag) but nothing works. So you turn on the television and venture into the world of late night infomercials, but what do you watch? Fear not, dear reader, for I have compiled a road map to navigate your way through the highway of late night infomercials. Have at it.
Ronco- You know this guy. The old man in the green apron who looks like the Joker, or maybe a version of what Steven Tyler will look like, sans cosmetic surgery, in about 5 years. The only redeeming quality of this infomercial is the fact that you can turn it off. The problem with it is that this guy couldn't be creepier. Watch this guy when something doesn't go right. He stutters like the homeless man in the back of the Pace bus. You just know he's the type of dude who gives kids drugged candy on Halloween. Eight year olds, Dude.
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