GUY: You going home for the holidays?
GIRL: No, not gong home.
GUY: Why not?
GIRL: Well flying this time of year is expensive and since I don't really celebrate Christmas...
GUY: What do you mean you don't celebrate Christmas?
GIRL: Well, I'm Jewish.
GUY: So . . .
GIRL: So most Jewish people don't do the whole Christmas thing.
GUY: Well I have a Jewish friend and he celebrates Christmas.
GIRL: Oh. Well..
GUY:Actually no. His mom's not Jewish. His dad's Jewish. Or is uncle. Yeah,his parents aren't Jewish his uncle's Jewish. Or no, maybe his unclemarried a Jewish girl. Yeah, that's right. His aunt is Jewish.
GIRL: Okay...
As all of you know, women need the existence of pure monogamous love coupled with scented candles to become aroused. Our g-spots and clits might as well not exist without words like “girlfriend” “relationship” “connection” and “forever” We’re not animals like you men who--okay…not that’s true. We are. We’re animals too, and sometimes we just need a warm body to finish off. And not only that, but occasionally…we finish first.
Yes, that’s right. Sometimes women can be two pump chumps. It’s true. Someone even wrote me on the subject seeking advice on how to last longer. (Thanks Jillian Hartley from Platteville, Wisconsin!*)
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