(The Freshman Virgin is hooking up with a guy in her dorm room. He takes off his pants and pushes her head down.)
FV: Oh! Okay, so listen, I don't know if I made myself clear at dinner and I'm sure you're a super guy, but..."can't put in the thing without that special ring." Sorry.
GUY: Yeah, yeah, whatever, it's cool. Blow me then.
FV: Oh! Um...okay.
GUY: Ow! What the f*ck?! Stop! Ow! F*ck, that hurts. What the f*ck is your problem.?!
FV: Nothing, God. Do you want a blowjob or not?
GUY: No, not from you, you freak! (He puts on his pants and hobbles out)
Four Years Prior
Two Hours Prior
(The Freshman Virgin is studying with a guy in his basement)
FV: Okay, so in the Krebs Cyle two carbons are-
(he leans in and starts kissing her, shoving his hands up her skirt )
Oh! Okay...ow, ow, oooo, ow, ow, ugh, yeah, ow, yeah, yeah.
Two Years Prior
(The Freshman Virgin is eating in her middle school cafeteria with her friend Beth)
BETH: Okay, so don't freak out, but Brendan just gave me a blow job in the boys bathroom!
FV: Oh my God, did you use a condom?
BETH: No, do you think I should have?
FV: I don't know. Probably.
BETH: Whatever.
FV: So, wait, Brendan gave you a blow job?!
BETH: Yeah it was fun, but it kinda hurt.
FV: It hurt, what do you mean it hurt?! What did he do exactly. Tell me everything.
BETH: Okay, well he stuck is whole hand down my jeans and into my underwear and then he, like, poked really hard at my vagina with his fingers for, like, a really long time.
FV: Oh my God, that's disgusting!
BETH: Yeah.
FV: Wow, so that's a blow job.
BETH: Yeah.
View profile
Send a message
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
MySpace
