Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. What’s up? It was nice meeting you at the Beta party. The beach theme was fun. So cool you guys had sand in the house. I bet it was a pain to clean up. So thanks for walking me back to my dorm room. Sorry I kicked you out when my roommate got back, but you know how it is…anyway we should hang out, get some dinner sometime. Give me a call.

1 week later…

Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. So funny I ran into you last night. I mean I guess it’s your fraternity so it makes sense that you were at that party. Sucks you’re having cell phone problems. Anyway, it was fun seeing your room, and your CD collection. Sorry I didn’t stay up there with you longer, but didn’t want to leave my friend alone downstairs for too long. We should hang out though. Maybe go get some ice cream or something. Give me a call.


2 weeks later…
Hi Ben, it’s Mindy. Glad I ran into you last night since I hadn't heard from you. Sucks that you’re still having cell phone problems. Maybe your voicemail is full or something. Oh well, I thought I’d leave you a message anyway. Hope you get this one. The party last night was fun. I think I left my bra somewhere in the frat house. So embarrassing! And even more embarrassing that I bolted out right after you took it off. I was feeling sick. Beer before liquor, never sicker… so true! Anyway, it’s crazy that we’ve never actually gone out. We should get some coffee or see a movie sometime. Give me a call.

It wasn't a good idea mentioning Donkey Punch in my last column. Yes, I read the comment section from last week's article, and although I'm grateful that I was only able to define about three or four of the sexual acts mentioned, I was still haunted by the rest of them.

I know I shouldn't want to know details, but all of the names sounded so fun and creative.

Screwnicorn: I love a good pun.

Kungfoo Kangaroo: What lovely alliteration.

Glass Bottom Boat: that's my favorite non-ride at Disneyland.