Not every party at college can be a sick rager where all the dudes get laid and half the girls get pregnant, some have to suck for the sake of comparison. How would you know a great party if you never attended a shitty one? The answer is you wouldn’t. However that is not a problem you’ll ever have to worry about because awful parties are as common in college as people lying about who they slept with last weekend. To find out whether the party you’re attending is going to be an embarrassment for years to come, look out for the following signs:

Today is the day our book comes out! You should go buy it- it's funny. Go ahead, put it on dad's credit card. He won't care, he's rich as hell! You could even go to the bookstore and buy it with your campus cash; nobody will be able to tell that you bought this instead of a textbook! C'mon...Do It.


Still not convinced?