Streeter Seidell's Article Archive
25 total in March 2007I Have Some Questions For President Bush
Mr. President ,
I am concerned that you have not been as open with the American people as your position requires. It frightens me when I think about how little I know about you and your policies. It's time you started answering some questions, sir, and I will not rest until my thirst, the American publics thirst, has been quenched.
Do you drive? Like, do you ever go "I think I'll go for a drive today" and take a car out for a spin around D.C.? If not, how long has it been since you've driven a car?
What is your policy on eating food that has fallen on the ground? Do you abide by the 5-Second rule or do you just say "f*ck it, I'll eat something else"?
Do your feelings ever get hurt?
If one of your daughters brought home a black guy and was like "Dad, this is my boyfriend," would you be mad? Or would you, like, say you didn't mind but actually be mad on the inside? What if it were a Mexican guy?
Are you mad you didn't have any sons?
Best pizza: Where and why?
What if when you die and go to heaven you get there and Saddam is sitting next to God and you're like "Oh sh*t"? What about that? What would you do? That would suck for you.
Finally, do you have a cell phone?
I am concerned that you have not been as open with the American people as your position requires. It frightens me when I think about how little I know about you and your policies. It's time you started answering some questions, sir, and I will not rest until my thirst, the American publics thirst, has been quenched.
Do you drive? Like, do you ever go "I think I'll go for a drive today" and take a car out for a spin around D.C.? If not, how long has it been since you've driven a car?
What is your policy on eating food that has fallen on the ground? Do you abide by the 5-Second rule or do you just say "f*ck it, I'll eat something else"?
Do your feelings ever get hurt?
If one of your daughters brought home a black guy and was like "Dad, this is my boyfriend," would you be mad? Or would you, like, say you didn't mind but actually be mad on the inside? What if it were a Mexican guy?
Are you mad you didn't have any sons?
Best pizza: Where and why?
What if when you die and go to heaven you get there and Saddam is sitting next to God and you're like "Oh sh*t"? What about that? What would you do? That would suck for you.
Finally, do you have a cell phone?
FacebookThe Weekly WYR
It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, send it to me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com.
Would You Rather...
Would You Rather...
- Be a guest on "The Daily Show" or on "The Colbert Report"? From Chris
- Have sex with a girl who used to be a guy, or a guy who used to be a girl? From Jay
- Have invented the PB&J sandwich or rap music?
- Do homework during your evening shift in the chemistry library or spend it thinking of WYRs? From Andrew
- Have a popcorn kernel stuck in the back of your throat for the rest of your life, or a fingernail that got trimmed too short? From Tom
- Never have to do your laundry or never have to clean your house/apt/dorm?
- Have to pay for everything in pennies or hundred-dollar bills for the rest of your life? From Matt
- Have a depressed operator on the other end of a suicide hot line, or an automated service? From James
- Always trip on your shoelaces or always get bloody noses?
- Read a would you rather that didn't have an alternate choice? From Andrew
- Control the volume of your farts or the smell? From Matt
- Lose all of the contacts in your cell phone, or be able to have all of them memorized, but only able to use a home phone? From Joseph
- Always be stuck in traffic or always miss calls from blacked numbers (with no voicemails)
- Be stuck in a cage with a hungry tiger or in a pool with a hungry great white shark? From John
- Win a blow job contest or lose a blow job contest? From James
And this week's winner of the "I'm High" award goes to Dylan, who sent in this.
- Yo Street, I'm HIGH!!!J
Wow, how poignant. Thanks Dylan!
Send your best (original) WYRs to Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com
The Negotiator
"Officer... officer," he cries pushing his way through the crowd, "You gotta let that dude go, dude. He didn't do anything, dude, I saw the whole thing." At first the police will politely ask him to stand back and let them do their jobs, but The Negotiator is there to help, dammit. And nothing is going to stop him. KEEP READING
Easter Vs. Passover
The most holy day of the Christian year is almost upon us. However, there is also a holiday called Passover, celebrated by Jewish folks, taking place this weekend. It's like when football and basketball are on TV at the same time; you've got to choose one. But don't just celebrate based on which religion you practice. Weigh your options!
| Easter | Passover | |
| Death |  |  |
| Coming back to life | | |
| Egg | | |
| Painted Egg | | |
| Leavened bread | | |
| Long, boring family dinner | | |
| Plagues | | |
| Hiding Matzah | | |
| Hiding CANDY! | | |
| Time off school | | |
| 'Rugrats' Special | | |
| "Hey everyone, Uncle Saul is here!" | | |
"Here everyone, Uncle Winston is here!" | | |
| Commercialized |  | |
Santa | |
Happy Easter/Passover everyone!
Presidential Affairs
It's been a whole week since we've learned something I get the sense that you're starved for important information. That's why Mental Floss and I are happy to sit you down, remind you to turn off your cell phones and school you in the ways of...
Presidential Affairs
Presidential Affairs
We all know Slick Willy got his D wet, but what about the thousands of other presidents this country has had? Turns out a bunch of them liked to have sex with people other than their wives, too. Who knew?!
A-Hammy - Though he never was president, Hamilton's adventures deserve a mention here because, honestly, that dude was stone pimpin' long before our culture decided to drop the 'g' from the 'ing' suffix to give it more street cred. While he was Secretary of the Treasury, Hamilton decided to "console" a sad woman named Maria Reynolds. Though she was married, Hamilton continued to "console" her with his special brand of 7 1/2-inch-sympathy for a long time. Eventually, her husband got sick of all the good Hamilton was doing and decided to do something about it. No, he didn't shoot Hamilton (that would be a little later) instead he blackmailed him for $1,000. I know what you're thinking: "Big deal, I spent that much at Senor Frogs last week." True, you did and it was worth it, but back then $1,000 was a third of his salary. On the bright side, the blackmailer and the blackmailee worked out a deal where Hamilton could continue to "console" Ms. Reyonlds for additional payments. What a deal!
The Insult Generator
Last night we posted an article by GaTekChiclet which put forth a formula to generate insults. We laughed, we cried and one of us - a humble programmer who goes by the handle, Iowa - came in this morning, wrote a little program to automate the process and posted it to the site. It's a perfect marriage of technology and the limitless potential humans have to hurt each other's feelings.
I'm proud to introduce you all to our very own Insult Generator, based off GaTekChiclet's formula.
I'm proud to introduce you all to our very own Insult Generator, based off GaTekChiclet's formula.
A Sad Day For Indie Rock
Your up-to-the-minute source for all things indie and nothing corporate ever.
It's been a big morning in the indie music scene. For starters, Temptation Station, yesterday's "it" boys fell from grace when they agreed to speak with a journalist from their local paper (the Sheboygan Pioneer). As we all know, speaking to anyone in any official capacity decimates a band's indie cred: even one as credible as Temptation Station.
Another blow for the indie scene this morning: Mars Solaris officially announced that they "kind of like Fallout Boy's new CD." This, of course, marks them as sellouts. Fans were beside themsleves.
"It's just a shame to see a band like Mars Solaris admit to liking corporate, over-produced crap." said Ashley "A-bomb" Bominy, 14.
However, this morning also saw the formation of a few promising new indie bands. Around 9:15 Jeff Azimoff telephoned Rory Peters and set a tentative schedule to 'work out some new stuff.' Azimoff, a former member of D4nceD4ance, and Peters, the current singer for Islip Condition, also discussed some potential names for the new band: &then some, Swimming Fool and Nomadical were mentioned.
Also formed this morning: Camp Automatic - four 13 year-olds from suburban New Jersey coming together with the singular mission to "get girls" and "not get beat up anymore." The rallying cry of the true indie musician.
Sellout Watch: These indie bands are on the brink of selling out. You may want to start denying that you ever liked them now to save yourself the embarrassment when they sign a recording contract.
The Indie Minute is sponsored by Le Tigre Clothing Corporation, makers of fine clothing and sponsors of sponsor-free art since 1977.
Another blow for the indie scene this morning: Mars Solaris officially announced that they "kind of like Fallout Boy's new CD." This, of course, marks them as sellouts. Fans were beside themsleves.
"It's just a shame to see a band like Mars Solaris admit to liking corporate, over-produced crap." said Ashley "A-bomb" Bominy, 14.
However, this morning also saw the formation of a few promising new indie bands. Around 9:15 Jeff Azimoff telephoned Rory Peters and set a tentative schedule to 'work out some new stuff.' Azimoff, a former member of D4nceD4ance, and Peters, the current singer for Islip Condition, also discussed some potential names for the new band: &then some, Swimming Fool and Nomadical were mentioned.
Also formed this morning: Camp Automatic - four 13 year-olds from suburban New Jersey coming together with the singular mission to "get girls" and "not get beat up anymore." The rallying cry of the true indie musician.
Sellout Watch: These indie bands are on the brink of selling out. You may want to start denying that you ever liked them now to save yourself the embarrassment when they sign a recording contract.
- N8mb3rs f0r v0w3ls
- .communist
- Weapons of Mass Dysfunction
- Pussyfoot
- Mystery Hystery
- Slaterade
- Slinky Consortium
- Limp Bisquick
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CHStupidQuestions @ Gmail.com. INCLUDE YOUR SCHOOL!
The Nominees
A) Colorado State University, Pueblo, CO
Submitted by Kevin
While constructing a time line project for a Colorado History class.
The Brain: Do these events have to be in order?
B) University of Montana, Missoula, MT
Submitted by Anna
In an Into to Linguistics class.
Professor: Some English words are borrowed from other languages, like mango or algebra. Can anyone else think of some others?
Dumbass: Amigo?
Professor: Um.... KEEP READING
Papa John Calls An Emergency Meeting
I've been in the Za biz a long time - a long motherf*cking time - and I can see when sh*t is about to hit the fan. Our first quarter earnings are a disgrace. Are you telling me that Domino's is moving twice the pie we are? TWICE THE MOTHERF*CKING PIE?! What the f*ck am I paying all you dirtbags for? Huh? Oh, don't apologize to me, you pack of weak-kneed faggots; apologize to my wife, who's catching a beatin' when I get home tonight.
KEEP READING
The Weekly WYR
It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, send it to me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com.
Would You Rather...
And the award for I'm Not Joking Now goes to me.
Two weeks ago a guy named Matt submitted a funny WYR and I posted it. Later I was told that it was lifted directly from a book called 'Would You Rather.' We don't have the manpower to check every user-submitted WYR for originality and I'd like to keep doing this column. Therefore, I need to be able to trust that the submissions are original and not lifted from something else. Don't be like Matt, don't steal other people's work.
S.S.S. (Sorry so serious)
Send your best (original) WYRs to Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com
Would You Rather...
- Fight Orlando Bloom or have a main part in his next film? From Dale
- Keep getting a NullPointerException deep within a massive sea code that the compiler debugger can't pinpoint, or have your professor tell you to redo all your array indices to start at 1, rather than 0? From Greg
- Be unable to ever say yes to sex or unable to ever say no to sex?
- Constantly have a runny nose or constantly have sharp, painful boogers?
- Draw your superpowers from the sun, or only have them at night? From Jim
- Walk on the moon or walk on water?
- Sit on a wet toilet seat every time you twosie, or have to go without a seat? From Brian
- Fight 12 6th graders or 6 12th graders? From Tom
- Have sex with all the people you wanted to from high school or have sex with all the people you wanted to from college?
- Be a tuba virtuoso or be able to play basic riffs on rock band instruments? From Nathaniel
- Have permanent, controllable x-ray vision or be able to fly but only for brief periods of time?
- Have to walk backwards or only on your heels for the rest of your life? From Tobi
And the award for I'm Not Joking Now goes to me.
- Would you rather spend a few minutes thinking of your own WYR or steal one from a book and submit it as your own?
Two weeks ago a guy named Matt submitted a funny WYR and I posted it. Later I was told that it was lifted directly from a book called 'Would You Rather.' We don't have the manpower to check every user-submitted WYR for originality and I'd like to keep doing this column. Therefore, I need to be able to trust that the submissions are original and not lifted from something else. Don't be like Matt, don't steal other people's work.
S.S.S. (Sorry so serious)
Send your best (original) WYRs to Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com
Mission Accomplished
In a feat of Friend-Finding not seen since the first Facebook Challenge, Wabash College's Ein Peck got the required 1,000 members in about 29 hours. His group 'If it were really raining men, the ground would be very, very bloody' crossed the 1,000 member mark around 12:30 last night.
For his efforts, Ein has won himself a free BustedTee and $50 cold, hard company-issued check. Thanks to everyone who played and better luck next time the Facebook Challege rolls through CollegeHumorTown.
For his efforts, Ein has won himself a free BustedTee and $50 cold, hard company-issued check. Thanks to everyone who played and better luck next time the Facebook Challege rolls through CollegeHumorTown.
VH1 Does The Internet
1. Get the real story behind Star Wars Kid, gem sweater lady, Denny Blaze Chinese BSB and all of the other people whose embarrassment has been our delight.
2. See Jeff and I a few more times.
3. See the face of "Ask A Ninja."
4. Try to identify the clip where Jeff yawns while I'm talking (no joke, he really is that bad of a friend).
5. It's on from 8 till 10 and the bars don't get good 'til at least 11:30.
All plugging aside, even if you don't normally like VH1 talking head shows, you'll probably enjoy this one. Why? Because you're on CollegeHumor right now, which means you probably enjoy watching silly Internet videos, ergo, you'll enjoy this show. See how I did that?
And if that hasn't convinced you, just watch the damn show so Jeff and I can have our fifteen minutes of cable fame and have something to talk about at our high school reunions before we slide back into online obscurity.
VH1 Webjunk 2.0's 40 Greatest Internet Superstars airs tonight from 8-10.
Bonus: First person to comment below correctly identifying the segment where Jeff yawns while I speak will get a personalized, handwritten apology penned by Jeff the Sleepyhead himself.
Slaves Wanted
Man, I sure do hate working. I'd much rather watch other people work. In fact, I'd much rather watch you do my work for me. Yes...Yes, that sounds like a plan. But how? How could I convince a few college kids to come sit in our office and do work all day for free? A-HA! Internships!
If you've ever dreamed about living in New York for a summer, working with beautiful people and telling your friends that you have a personal relationship with Intern Jake then this is the job for you!
But seriously, we are hiring some summer interns and if you're interested send us your resume and cover letter at YesIWillWorkForFree@Gmail.com.
We'll pay your daily travel and lunches and sign whatever needs to be signed to get you class credit.
So what are you waiting for?! Come intern at CollegeHumor this summer!*
*No Portugese please
But seriously, we are hiring some summer interns and if you're interested send us your resume and cover letter at YesIWillWorkForFree@Gmail.com.
Requirements
- Available 3-5 days a week
- Able to commute to New York City
- General knowledge of the Internet and computers
- Knowledge of HTML, Photoshop or editing skills a plus
We'll pay your daily travel and lunches and sign whatever needs to be signed to get you class credit.
So what are you waiting for?! Come intern at CollegeHumor this summer!*
*No Portugese please
Performance Enhancing Drugs
Learn Something has been on spring break for the past few weeks. It was sick. We drove down to Lauderdale, hit up a few Waffle Houses, met some chicks on the beach and got a sick tattoo of a fish. Anyway, we're back and in the spirit of excess, this week Mental Floss and I are teaching you about...
Substance Controlled Athletes
Match the athlete to their substance!
| A. Dock Ellis | 1. Cigarettes |
| B. Dick Trickle | 2. Hookers and Crack |
| C. Bill Lee | 3. Acid |
| D. Barret Robbins | 4. Weed |
| E. Lawrence Taylor | 5. Booze |
Answers after the jump
Facebook Challenge!
- Create one of the groups listed below.
- Get 1,000 people to join your group.
- Email me at Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com when you've hit the 1,000 member mark with a link to your group.
- Claim a Free BustedTee AND $50.
The Groups
- If it were really raining men, the ground would be very, very bloody
- Gmail sucks. Hotmail FTW
- Dude, if you were a girl you'd be so hot
- I still can't stop talking about how good 'The Family Stone' was!
- Blog Blog Blog: The blog about blog-based blogs
- Black Jean Shorts are the HoTtNeSs
- Ham: The fabric of our lives
- Wait, when did James Brown die?
- Your body is my toilet.
- My Dad's name is Terrence
- I remember that show 'Bobby's World,' don'cha know
- My wireless network is still named "linksys"
- I'm not 100% sure what spelunking is
- Lucky Charms > Trix
- I'll push it, but I probably won't push it real good
- You're so ugly to me right now
- Skinnydipping is boring
- I hate you because you are different than I am
- Man, my cuticles need attention
- I can do 100 pushups in a row and will show you if you ask me
- I DO wish my girlfriend was hot like her
- Anyone wanna order pizza? I'm calling in five minutes so let me know.
- Luuuuuuuving "According to Jim" this season!
- Sometimes i don't capitalize The right words
Remember, the first person to email me at Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com with 1,000 people in their group gets a Free BustedTees and a Ulysses Grant to keep all your George Washingtons company. Ready. Set. GO!
That Burger Got Made
One of the best things about working here is watching some ridiculous idea become reality. Well, I can safely say that today is proud day indeed because two of your fellow readers took up the challenge of cooking what might just be the world's most unhealthy sandwich: The Motherclucker. Technically, Jason finished first but I couldn't bear to see Robert go away empty handed so they're both getting the $50 prize.
Yes!
What could be modified about the recipe to producer a better finished product?
Use 5 different kinds of shredded cheese.
Where, in your opinion, do you rate this burger compared to burgers from McDonalds, Wednys, Burger King and/or Sonic?
9, 10 being the best. McDonalds double cheeseburger - 0. Burger King all way (except for breakfast)
How long did it take you to prepare the Motherclucker?
Probably 20 minutes.
How much did it cost?
$7.85
Was it worth it (If you didn't win $50)?
Definitely.
Did you actually use your roommate's T-Shirt to sop up the excess grease, as per the instructions?
Absolutely.
Do you think I'm a visionary or just fat?
Positively visionary.
Do you think I could open a restaurant where I only served Mothercluckers and do well?
Your store would be packed.
Will you make the Motherclucker again?
I'm going to make it for my friends and feed it to them with blindfolds.
Pics of Jason's Motherclucker + an essay and pics from Robert's after the jump. KEEP READING
Jason
Did you enjoy the Motherclucker?Yes!
What could be modified about the recipe to producer a better finished product?
Use 5 different kinds of shredded cheese.
Where, in your opinion, do you rate this burger compared to burgers from McDonalds, Wednys, Burger King and/or Sonic?
9, 10 being the best. McDonalds double cheeseburger - 0. Burger King all way (except for breakfast)
How long did it take you to prepare the Motherclucker?
Probably 20 minutes.
How much did it cost?
$7.85
Was it worth it (If you didn't win $50)?
Definitely.
Did you actually use your roommate's T-Shirt to sop up the excess grease, as per the instructions?
Absolutely.
Do you think I'm a visionary or just fat?
Positively visionary.
Do you think I could open a restaurant where I only served Mothercluckers and do well?
Your store would be packed.
Will you make the Motherclucker again?
I'm going to make it for my friends and feed it to them with blindfolds.
Pics of Jason's Motherclucker + an essay and pics from Robert's after the jump. KEEP READING
Stupid Question Hall of Fame
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CHStupidQuestions @ Gmail.com. INCLUDE YOUR SCHOOL!
The Nominees
A)University of Central Arkansas, Conway, Arkansas
On the week of Friday the 13th
Genius: Do you think September 11th will ever fall on Friday the 13th?
Everyone in class starts laughing really hard. KEEP READING
The Weekly WYR
Would You Rather...
- Break your own arm or break one of your mother's fingers?
- Have stilts surgically attached to your legs or permanently have a 6 foot tall flattop haircut? From Scott
- Be lost on an island with every single one of your possessions, or not be lost but own nothing but a TV and “Lost” DVDs?
- Be constantly juggling for the rest of your life or have that circus song play repeatedly in your head? From Pete
- Pay for all your music or just stop listening to music all together?
- Be able to grow an instant beard or be able to grow instant head hair?
- Freeze to death in a matter of hours or be burned alive in a matter of minutes? From Nathan
- Have someone pee in your pee-hole or poop in your poop hole? From Hunter
- Pose naked in a magazine one time for $50,000 or strip at the bar for $5,000 once a month? From Maggie
- Fart silently all the time or burp loudly all the time for the rest of your life? From Bill
- See the new movie "300" with your friends, or "Norbit" with Eddie Murphy? From James
- Live life as an extremely talented, tormented soul or be happy and boring? From Zack
- Ride the short bus or have to drive the short bus. From Sam
- Make slot machine sounds every time you urinate or cry like a baby every time you take a dump? From Dan Smith Will Teach you Guitar
- Up to your nuts in eyeballs or up to your eyeballs in nuts? From Erick
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
Audio Prank
So fun in fact, that Amir and I have been embroiled in a year-long prank war. Being particularly proud of my last prank I've decided to bring it to you fine readers. Enjoy me making Amir very, very uncomfortable!
Make This Burger
In the realm of burgers there isn't much left to discover. You can get a burger with french fries on it, a burger with a donut bun and even a burger made of turkey. Yet for all this innovation to the simple hamburger one last challenge remains: the motherclucker burger.
This is a creation of my fat, fertile mind and though I have the dream, I have not yet put meat to pan and made the following dish. Therefore, if you were to prepare this burger you would be the first to do so. What exactly is the Motherclucker? I'll tell you.
Step 1. Gather your ingredients: burger meat, a frying pan, oil, flour, shredded cheese, chicken breasts (with skin) a bun and any fixings you desire.
Step 2. Half-cook your burger in the frying pan. While it's cooking, remove the skin from your chicken. Discard the useless chicken meat but save the delicious skin.
Step 3. Remove the half-cooked burger from the frying pan. Fill the pan with deep frying oil and bring it to a suitable heat. While the oil is heating up, carefully wrap the burger in the raw chicken skin. Create a pocket in between the burger and the chicken skin and fill it with your shredded cheese. Pin the opening shut with a toothpick.
This is a creation of my fat, fertile mind and though I have the dream, I have not yet put meat to pan and made the following dish. Therefore, if you were to prepare this burger you would be the first to do so. What exactly is the Motherclucker? I'll tell you.
Step 1. Gather your ingredients: burger meat, a frying pan, oil, flour, shredded cheese, chicken breasts (with skin) a bun and any fixings you desire.
Step 2. Half-cook your burger in the frying pan. While it's cooking, remove the skin from your chicken. Discard the useless chicken meat but save the delicious skin.
Step 3. Remove the half-cooked burger from the frying pan. Fill the pan with deep frying oil and bring it to a suitable heat. While the oil is heating up, carefully wrap the burger in the raw chicken skin. Create a pocket in between the burger and the chicken skin and fill it with your shredded cheese. Pin the opening shut with a toothpick.
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CHStupidQuestions @ Gmail.com. INCLUDE YOUR SCHOOL!
The Nominees
A) UNC, Chapel Hill, NC
Submitted by Lucas
In an Intro to Country Music class.
Professor: Don't forget to bring in your scan-tron bubble sheets for the midterm on Tuesday.
My brilliant roommate: Is this test multiple choice?
B) Brown University, Providence, RI
Submitted by Samuel
During a Political Science seminar, we were discussing the widespread problem of homelessness.
Idiot: If I suddenly became homeless, I would just call up my friends Jenny or Paige and sleep over there. Why don't they just do that? KEEP READING
The Weekly WYR
Would You Rather...
- Lose an eye or a leg? From Tom
- Have your eyelids sewn open or sewn shut? From Josh
- Get handed a $100,000 check at the beginning of every year or know everything on Wikipedia?
- Not be able to taste sugar or not be able to taste salt? From Keith
- Walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, or be cursed to always use proverbs in the wrong context?
- Be the leading scientist in your field or get mad cow disease? From Daniel
- Stick the tip of your penis into scalding hot spaghetti sauce or eat the sauce after someone else put their junk in it? From Sam
- Eat a live squid or a dead puppy?
- Be thrown down with the sodomites or keep doing the warden's taxes? From Aaron
- Have invented the slam dunk or invented beer pong?
- Be the worst player in the NBA or the best player in the WNBA? From Verde
- Have chicks refer to your sexual ability as "the best two minutes of my life" or "the worst two hours"? From Tyson
- Only be allowed to eat soda, pizza, and french fries (but it’s healthy) or continue your current diet?
- Be on the first experimental space tourism flight or the second?
- Have three goldfish-size dolphins or one cat-size mountain gorilla? From Chris
- You goin? Are you gonna get beers before or is matt gonna get them? Lemme know dude.
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
Too Cool For School
Nothing says cool like getting booted from school. And since celebrities are very, very cool the transative property states that a bunch of them must have gotten ejected from our fine learning institutions. Wouldn't you know it, the property doesn't lie! Mental Floss and I are about to drop some knowledge about...
Celebrity Expulsions
Streeter Seidell
Fordham
About Me
About Me
Streeter enjoys many things, not least of which is being your front page editor here at CollegeHumor. In fact, he likes it so much he decided to get paid for it and make it his career. He spends his days making sure you have enough updates and hotlinks to keep you from your work for at least two hours. Streeter also likes to write; not well, mind you, but frequently. Please, enjoy his archive.
Thanks for being my Internet friend.
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