Two new ones today. 

Look, I can't say who gave them to me but I got my hands on the brainstorming notes from a bunch of different Superbowl advertisers.  I don't know if any of these ideas actually got made into commercials for the game next week, but at least you can see the creative process that goes into your favorite Superbowl ad spots.

At what point in his life does a High Times staff writer go, "Ya know, I think I like weed enough to base my career on it."

It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR.  See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires.  And remember, if you've got a great WYR, send it to me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com.

Would You Rather...

• Only be able to see people from their neck up or only be able to see people from their neck down? From Randy
• Take a great dump or have bad sex? From Leo
• Have pickles for arms and have everyone call you a freak or have a pickle for a penis and have no one know? From Grant
• Have no YouTube or no DVDs?
• Be black and be named Screech, or be white and named La'walter? From Nicholas
• Go half the posted speed limit forever and catch every green light or go as fast as you want and catch every red light? From Jimmy
• Have your phone number be 555-1212 or 867-5309? From Christin
• Have the genitalia of a bear and the tongue of a giraffe, or only be able to have sex with fat, ugly, angry, inattentive waitresses for the rest of your life? From Brian
• Have to listen to 1,000 crappy Borat impressions or 1,000 crappy
  Dave Chappelle impressions? From Jeremy

And this week's winner of the Excessively Painful Even To Read Award goes to Chris, who sent in this...

• Would you rather, grind your teeth on chalkboard until they're worn down to the gums or cut your achilles tendon using nothing but your finger nails?

Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com

Hey guys.  Just wanted to let everyone know that our Great Aunt, Gertrude, died the other day.  I mean, we didn't really know her all that well but still it's sad when a family member dies, ya know?  But check this out, in her will she left us $10,000!  The one condition was that we have to give the money to America's Hottest College Girl so we were like, "Well, might as well have a contest!" 
Are you a hot girl?  If so, take your chance at winning our Dead Great Aunt's money by submitting your picture HERE.

Do you know a hot girl who likes money?  Rare, I know, but if you happen to be acquainted with one you can send her the link below.

Yup!  This one by famed Commenatrix, Katie Marino.

It's Tuesday and you know what that means...Tacos for Dinner! 

It also means we've got our Morning After 24 article posted. 

Also, my good friend John will be bringing you Morning After articles on Heroes every week.  Welcome him!  DO IT! 

Though she is an atrocious songwriter and barely a woman, Fergie knows how to do one thing very, very well: get a song stuck in your head.  From 'London Bridge' to 'Fergalious,' her trash beats and imbecile lyrics get caught in your brain and bounce around for days - sometimes weeks - without relenting. Thankfully, we've devised a clever way to get that Fergie song out of conscious mind and into the cold, dark place where you keep the memories of that scouting trip back in '94. 

"Well, if Mexicans are all so lazy how come I always see them hard at work, selling fruit on the highway off ramp?"

The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CHStupidQuestions @ Gmail.com.

Have you ever been watching MTV True Life and said to yourself, "Where did they find a 400 pound, pimple-faced, gay kid from New Jersey who wants to be Prom King?"  the answer is Craigslist.  Everyday, hundreds of cable stations flood the Craigslist "TV/Film/Radio" section with casting calls, job openings and idea searches.  Just look at the ones I found this morning...

It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR.  See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires.  And remember, if you've got a great WYR, send it to me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com.

Would You Rather...

• Listen to Larry the Cable Guy or Carlos Mencia for 5 straight hours? From Jeff
• Be dipped shoulder deep into a pool of poop or dunk your head into a bucket of puke (neither of which is your own)?  From Todd
• Get your ass beat front of your friends by your little brother, or big sister? From Ron
• Listen to one song over and over again for the rest of your life or never listen to music ever again?
• Have three eyes or one cyclops eye? From Tyler
• Fight one gorilla or three chimpanzees?
  
• Be buried alive or dropped off in the middle of the Sahara with no water? From Martin
  
• Have live shrimp for nipples or have crayons for teeth? From Nicholas
• Accidentally kill a family member and get away with it or go to prison for 10 years for a crime you didn't commit? From Tyler
• Have diarrhea during a first date or during a job interview? From Michael
• Be best friends with Kevin Federline or have no friends at
  all? From Robert

And this week's Funniest Visual Award goes to our own Jesse Gold, who sent in this:

• Would you rather have your fingers sewn together into mitten hands,
  or have your teeth fused together into one big chomp?

Well done, Jesse.
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com

MentalFloss and I are back again to teach you valuable information.  Today we're going to learn about...

The 1st Internet Banner Ad was created for the notoriously crappy beverage, Zima, back in 1998.  Since then banner ads have come a long way - back then the idea of swatting 10 George W. Bush-headed flies to win a free iPod nano seemed ludicrous.  How quaint. 

1st person to try to hawk off his virginity online: Florida Honor student and president of his school’s computer and A/V club (read: nerd), Francis Cornworth was willing to drive all the way to Orlando if you were willing to pay for his innocence. Bidding began at a modest $10, and slowly rose until Ebay put a stop to the fun.  He is still a virgin today, all thanks to Ebay's prudish ways. 

We want to know...

Hi everyone,

As you know, watching TV is the greatest thing in the world.  That's just a simple fact.  The only problem with TV is that often times your friends aren't into the same shows you are.  When you try to talk to them about it they get all high and mighty, like somehow they're better than you because they don't watch Lost.  Well they can just go STRAIGHT TO HELL!  YOU HEAR ME, TYLER?! GO TO HELL, JUST LIKE YOUR DEAD GRANDFATHER!

Sorry.  Anyway, in an effort to bring like minded people together, we'll be posting reviews, critiques and discussion about 24, Lost, Grey's Anatomy and Heroes the day after they air.  Why don't we get things started with 24? 

Click to Read

A) Molloy College, Rockville Centre, NY
Submitted by Anthony

During a class discussion on WWII

Bright Fellow: Wait, hold on. What's the difference between aircraft carriers and aircraft?

B) Manhattan College,  Bronx, New York
Submitted by Alex
 
During Art Appreciation
 
Professor:  Today we are going to start the self portraits we have been learning about.
Genius: Do we get to pick who we do our's on?

Yesterday I asked for you to make a 'For Dummies' book cover and send it to me for your chance to win a free BustedTee.  Now it's time to vote.  Thanks to everyone who submitted. 

It's been a while since MentalFloss and I teamed up to teach you valuable information.  Luckily, we're back to drop some much-needed knowledge on the youth of America.  Today we're going to learn about...

On this day when we remember the great Dr. King, let us not forget others who stood up to the powers that be and demanded change.  Whether it was equal rights - in Dr. King's case - or freedom of speech or even environmental protection.  Yes, protesting and challenging authority has it's risks, but the question you must ask yourself is: "Am I brave enough to stand up for my beliefs even if they cause me to be arrested, persecuted or even killed?"  I know one man who said "Yes, yes I am!"

Our simple, safe and sexy plan to get a great work out while you're rubbing one out.

First, balance yourself on the tips of your toes and the top of your head. Make sure to spread your legs wide to create a stable base. With your dominant hand, reach down and pleasure yourself. With your non-dominant hand you may grab your thigh, place it on the floor to steady yourself, or entertain your anus, if that’s your thing.
Muscles Worked

Nothing is more important than getting the right seat on the first day of class.  Use the chart below to determine which seat will fit you best when you show up for the first day of classes next week. 

	Only sit in this area if you are teaching the class.  This is very important to remember.
	These seats are good for the visually impaired, since anything written the board will be easier to see from up close.  If you're a visually impaired ass-kisser, these seats are doubly good.
	This is the seat for the kid that nobody is sure will show up today.  If you ask if anyone is sitting in that seat you'll be met by a chorus of I-think-he-just-went-to-the-bathroom's or I-saw-him-in-the-hallway's from the desks nearby.
	These desks are commonly occupied by students who enjoy turning around in their chairs and asking questions like, "What did professor Williams just say?" or "Did you get the notes from the last lab?  I missed half of it."
	If you are a visable minority, you'll want to sit here.  Notice I said "want to" instead of "be forced to."  Isn't progress wonderful?

January has arrived, hasn’t it?  It’s only a matter of weeks now before my phone rings and my annual torment begins anew.  Last year they called in February.  Perhaps they’ll wait 'til March this year?  Perhaps not. 

Every year it is the same.  The phone rings by my bedside as the milky morning sunlight creeps through the blinds of my frigid bedroom, jolting me from my peaceful slumber.  With heavy hands I reach for my spectacles – good, reliable spectacles with black rims and heavy lenses.  “Hello,” I sigh into the phone. 

“Hey! It’s your favorite marketing director!” comes the reply.  “How’ve you been, old man!?” When did the young people of this country stop respecting their elders?

“Hello, Thomas,” I say, rubbing my temples.

1. Ham