Streeter Seidell's Article Archive
29 total in November 2007Top of the Morning
Good morning, everyone. Let's take a look at Gnarly 90's Amir. Observe the five traits of a 90's photo: Raiders hat, Above the Rim t-shirt, plaid shorts, a gap between the front teeth and, most of all, being a kid.
Two Morning Afters today
TMA Kid Nation, by Mark Zito
TMA Pushing Daisies, by Chris Richman
FacebookTop of the Morning
Good day, loyal readers. Tell me what you think of this 105% joke I self-rejected. "It is with great trepidation that I use such a big word."
And now on to business. First up, let's meet Gnarly 90's managing editor, Jeff Rubin. This is easily our most "90's" picture. Ninja Turtles, wacky shorts, theme park, you don't get much better than that.
Also on the plate this morning, TMA Nip/Tuck with the notorious Katie Marino.
Wanna Work Here?
We need qualified college kids (preferably sophomores or juniors) who live in, or are able to commute to, New York City. If you want to work for free here you better come correct, and by that we mean...
- Good writer with strong grasp of grammar and, punctuation
- Funny
- Knowledge of the Internet and Internet culture
- Photoshop, Illustrator and final cut skills a BIG plus
- NO POLACKS!
If you'd like to join our team email your resume, cover letter and any relevant work (art, writing, etc) to YesIWillWorkForFree@Gmail.com
EDIT: This is for Spring interns, not Summer
Top of the Morning
Good Morning, everyone! Let's skip the pleasantries and get right to it.
Also, as promised, here is a Gnarly 90's pic of Ricky Van Veen, your editor in chief and my boss. Note the Dream Team shorts, the Larry Johnson Hornets jersey and the stylish, over-sized plastic watch. You've come a long way, boss.
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.
The Nominees- A) Keystone College, Scranton, Pennsylvania Submitted by Mike
A slide of a uncircumsized penis is shown on the projection screen.
Ms. Einstein: Oh my, what kind of STD does he have? - B) University of Florida, Gainesville, Florida Submitted by Jay
Professor: To pass the quiz you need to get a 7 out of 10.
Bro: So that's like a 65%, right?
Top of the Morning
Welcome back, everyone. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of food, family and fornication with your high school ex. Now, back to business as usual...
Or not! When we were all home for the long weekend I asked the staff to get pics of themselves for the Gnarly 90s and I'll be posting one a day in the Top of the Morning article. I might as well start with myself, so here I am in my most badass ski suit. I must have been going fast judging by the way my hair is positioned on my head although the pizza-slice ski arrangement would beg to differ. Stay tuned for pics of Ricky, Jeff, Amir and Pat.
Also, check the Morning After Dexter by Jake Klocksien
Siblinguistics
Many college kids have a younger sibling. Sure, Mom and Dad say little Scotty looks up to you and wants to be just like you, but that’s not true. He wants to be better than you. He’s learned from all your mistakes. He’s seen you fall again and again. He is prepared to steal your parents’ love away from you. Don’t let it happen.
When you visit home, your younger siblings will be very curious about college. They’ll ask question after question about your school and your major. Your goal is to steer them in a bad direction so they’ll never accomplish more than you. Control their feeble minds with any of these sayings:
"Man, if I could do it all again, I’d have been a Creative Writing major . . . that’s where the real money’s at."
“You want to go to Yale? That’s for people who couldn’t get into the U.S. Army, which, incidentally, is looking for new recruits. Here, read this pamphlet.”
“GPAs are like golf scores: the lower the better. Study hard and you can get that hole in 1.00!”
“Look, I didn’t want to say anything, but I heard Mom say that she’d start drinking again if you ever leave home.”
“Right before Grandpa died, he told me that his greatest wish was to see you become a landscaper.”
“I hear really good things about those online universities. I wish my diploma was e-mailed to me as a PDF attachment.”
“Forget college, man, your band is one of the best I’ve ever heard . . . and I have like ten thousand mp3s.”
When you visit home, your younger siblings will be very curious about college. They’ll ask question after question about your school and your major. Your goal is to steer them in a bad direction so they’ll never accomplish more than you. Control their feeble minds with any of these sayings:
"Man, if I could do it all again, I’d have been a Creative Writing major . . . that’s where the real money’s at."
“You want to go to Yale? That’s for people who couldn’t get into the U.S. Army, which, incidentally, is looking for new recruits. Here, read this pamphlet.”
“GPAs are like golf scores: the lower the better. Study hard and you can get that hole in 1.00!”
“Look, I didn’t want to say anything, but I heard Mom say that she’d start drinking again if you ever leave home.”
“Right before Grandpa died, he told me that his greatest wish was to see you become a landscaper.”
“I hear really good things about those online universities. I wish my diploma was e-mailed to me as a PDF attachment.”
“Forget college, man, your band is one of the best I’ve ever heard . . . and I have like ten thousand mp3s.”
Top of the OH MY GOD, PORN
Just kidding. But seriously, sorry about this. We pride ourselves on not having pop ups and delivering ads of a certain non-intrusive nature. These are obviously not part of our ad system and we hope this doesn't drive you away from our site.
If you do want to look at porn, please do not do it at HQtube and instead go to a site that isn't some piece of sh*t spam front. Now, how about some Morning After Heroes...
Semantics
Saigon, April 30th, 1975
America quietly boards a helicopter. A surprised North Vietnam emerges from the jungle.
Vietnam: Hey...hey, are you guys leaving?
USA: Yup, this is taking forever, you know. We'll just call it a tie and be on our way.
Vietnam: Tie?! No offense, but you guys are retreating, right? That means we won the war, no?
USA: War? A number 1, this was a 'conflict' not a war. A number 2, it's a tie because we're both obviously evenly matched.
Vietnam: Come on, that's bullsh*t and you know it. You guys lost and now you're leaving and trying to pretend like you never were even fighting in the first place.
USA: This was, like, soooo not a big deal to us. You guys killed a few of us, we killed a few of you, it's a tie. I don't know why you're making such a scene. KEEP READING
Vietnam: Hey...hey, are you guys leaving?
USA: Yup, this is taking forever, you know. We'll just call it a tie and be on our way.
Vietnam: Tie?! No offense, but you guys are retreating, right? That means we won the war, no?
USA: War? A number 1, this was a 'conflict' not a war. A number 2, it's a tie because we're both obviously evenly matched.
Vietnam: Come on, that's bullsh*t and you know it. You guys lost and now you're leaving and trying to pretend like you never were even fighting in the first place.
USA: This was, like, soooo not a big deal to us. You guys killed a few of us, we killed a few of you, it's a tie. I don't know why you're making such a scene. KEEP READING
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.
The Nominees- A) Bossier Parish Community College, Shreveport, Louisiana Submitted by Seth
Professor: Here in this fresco you can see where St. Francis of Assisi had stigmata.
Genius: Oh, was he making fun of Jesus? - B) University of Connecticut, Storrs, Connecticut Submitted by Kyle
In a class meeting devoted entirely to the Atomic Bomb...
Professor: The bomb dropped on Hiroshima weighed about 9,000 lbs.
Madame Einstein: How big was the bomb the Japanese dropped on Pearl Harbor?
Top of the Morning
Good morning, everyone. Well, what a weekend it's been. Thanks to everyone who emailed in about the porno redirecting that's going on. We've got our best nerds on the case and hopefully we'll have that cleared up soon.
Moving on, Jake has a new Morning After Dexter so go give that a read
Also, the website Adamsballs.com sent over a big sample bag of their custom-made ping pong balls with a bunch of CH folks on them. Adam, whoever you are, you sure know how to get a free plug. AdamsBalls.com: For all your custom ping pong ball needs.
Finally, for all you Syracusians who emailed and told me to go to Dinosaur BBQ I have great news - I did. I've also now had a two-day stomach ache. Thanks, Syracuse!
Top of the Morning
Good morning, everyone. Thanks to all of you who joined our Facebook fan page. I am especially enjoying the 'reveal your secret identity' thread running over there.
Now, on to business...
TMA Kid Nation by special guest and star of MTV's Human Giant, Paul Scheer
TMA Pushing Daisies by regular writer and star of an imaginary TV show that's kind of like Rob and Big but starring Chris Richman, Chris Richman.
Top of the Morning
We've got a Morning After Nip/Tuck from everyone's favorite ex-intern, Katie Marino.
We're also happy to announce that we've made a shirt out of everyone's favorite disgusting online video. Strangely, we haven't sold any women' sizes yet...
Also, I'll be in Syracuse all weekend if anyone needs me to buy them beer. Just, like, lemme tag along to whatever party you're going to. Alright...alright, how about you just, like, tell me where the party's at? Please? please...?
2007/08 Power Rankings Released
After months of having our interns do work, we've compiled our second annual Power Rankings and are ready to turn them loose on an unsuspecting public. So head on over to CollegeHumor.com/Rankings and check them out. Or, you could click on this blue colored text. And if none of that works for you, click the image below.
PS. This year's Power Rankings were sponsored by our friends at G4's Attack of the Show.
PS. This year's Power Rankings were sponsored by our friends at G4's Attack of the Show.
Top of the Morning
Good morning everyone. There's so much going on this week that I don't know what to post about first. Of course, we have a Morning After Heroes by our good friend Jon Gabrus.
The Gnarly 90's contest is off to a strong start. I've never seen so many hysterical pictures come in so quickly for a contest before.
Finally - and this is absurd - the Pixieland Peter Pan guy GOT ENGAGED! There truly is someone for everyone...
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.
The Nominees- A) Mt. San Antonio College, Arcadia, California Submitted by Jon
The Brilliance: Isn't it true that babies can breathe underwater?
- B) SUNY College at Oswego, Oswego, New York Submitted by Pete
Professor was talking about neuromuscular control
Lady Brain: What do you mean? Is it the, like, muscle's mind?
Top of the Morning
Two Morning Afters today
TMA Curb Your Enthusiasm, by Amir
TMA Dexter, by Jake
New York Gets A Phone Call
New York: Hello?
York: Guess who, dude.
New York: I dunno, London?
York: Lon..Whaaaa?..Come on, man. It's your older bro-ski, York!
New York: Oh, hey man. How's it going?
York: Ha! How's it going, he says. I think you know how it's going, man. GREAT! I know you wouldn't know because you never visit...
New York: Come on, I...
York: ...but, things are awesome here. I'm still living in the mother land but, hey, since you're not here to help out anymore, somebody has to look after the place.
New York: Well, I'm happy to hear you're doing well.
York: More than well. Anyway-skis, you still seeing that lush little thing you lived next door to?
New York: You mean Brooklyn?
York: Yeah man, you guys still thinking about getting together?
New York: Ah, funny story, actually. We kind of got together a while ago. We even have a bridge together now... a few bridges actually. And a tunnel.
York: ...Oh...oh, ok. I guess my invitation was....?
New York: ...It was just a long way for you to travel, you know? I didn't want you to feel like you had to come. KEEP READING
Our Favorite Simpsons Moments
Brought to you by
Top of the Morning
Good morning everyone, we've got another epic Morning After Kid Nation article from Mark.
Also, how funny is this video?
Also, how funny is this video?
Top of the Morning
Good morning everyone, two pieces of news today...
First, Katie Marino returns to CH writing the Morning After Nip/Tuck. Go check that out.
And now...The Winners of our Halloween Costume Party!
Third place and winner of $50 (to be split amongst them): 300 Army
Second place and winner of $100: BioShock
First place and winner of $150...BENDER!
First, Katie Marino returns to CH writing the Morning After Nip/Tuck. Go check that out.
And now...The Winners of our Halloween Costume Party!
Third place and winner of $50 (to be split amongst them): 300 Army
Second place and winner of $100: BioShock
First place and winner of $150...BENDER!
Top of the Morning
Good morning everyone and happy second day of the writer's strike! By the way, if you want to see which of your precious TV shows will be affected by the strike, check out this LA Times Article. This will be detrimental to our Morning After columns but not until January it appears.
But before we get to that, let me remind you to go vote on our Costume Party. Voting ends tonight at midnight and three lucky Halloweeners are walking away with some sweet, sweet, delicious, motherf*cking CASH, SON!
And now, while NBC still has fresh episodes...
TMA Heroes, with Jon Gabrus
But before we get to that, let me remind you to go vote on our Costume Party. Voting ends tonight at midnight and three lucky Halloweeners are walking away with some sweet, sweet, delicious, motherf*cking CASH, SON!
And now, while NBC still has fresh episodes...
TMA Heroes, with Jon Gabrus
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.
The Nominees- A) Indiana University of PA, Indiana, Pennsylvania Submitted by Dan
Professor: Not only do insects have the most diversity of any group of animals, but they are also the most numerous...
Genius: Wait, but insects aren't really considered animals, right? - B) University of Texas, Austin, Texas Submitted by Sean
Professor: ...then, the patient contracted HPV?
The Brilliance: What's HPV?
Professors: Human Papillomavirus
The Brilliance: Is that some kind of bird disease?
Professor: ...Son....It has the word "human" in it...
Top of the Morning
Happy Be An Hour Early To Everything Day! Let's have a look at what's going on on CH this morning.
Two new Morning After columns
TMA Dexter, by Jake Klocksien
TMA Curb Your Enthusiasm, by Amir
Two new Morning After columns
TMA Dexter, by Jake Klocksien
TMA Curb Your Enthusiasm, by Amir
Brought to you by
Top of the Morning
Now, onto some site news. We have a new Morning After Grey's Anatomy today so go read that in private and don't let your roommates see you.
Also, keep those Halloween pictures coming. We've had almost a million votes on our Costume Party contest!
Streeter Seidell
Fordham
About Me
About Me
Streeter enjoys many things, not least of which is being your front page editor here at CollegeHumor. In fact, he likes it so much he decided to get paid for it and make it his career. He spends his days making sure you have enough updates and hotlinks to keep you from your work for at least two hours. Streeter also likes to write; not well, mind you, but frequently. Please, enjoy his archive.
Thanks for being my Internet friend.
View profile
Send a message
- 2008 May 5 Articles
- 2008 April 8 Articles
- 2008 March 16 Articles
- 2008 February 11 Articles
- 2008 January 6 Articles
- 2007 December 12 Articles
- 2007 November 30 Articles
- 2007 October 27 Articles
- 2007 September 17 Articles
- 2007 August 13 Articles
- 2007 July 16 Articles
- 2007 June 17 Articles
- 2007 May 14 Articles
- 2007 April 24 Articles
- 2007 March 25 Articles
- 2007 February 32 Articles
- 2007 January 33 Articles
- 2006 December 23 Articles
- 2006 November 31 Articles
- 2006 October 34 Articles
- 2006 September 31 Articles
- 2006 August 3 Articles
- 2006 July 2 Articles
- 2006 June 1 Articles
- 2006 May 2 Articles
- 2006 April 2 Articles
- 2006 March 2 Articles
- 2006 February 4 Articles
- 2006 January 4 Articles
- 2005 December 4 Articles
- 2005 November 3 Articles
- 2005 October 3 Articles
- 2005 September 3 Articles
- 2005 August 3 Articles
- 2005 July 2 Articles
- 2005 June 4 Articles
- 2005 May 2 Articles
- 2005 April 7 Articles
- 2005 March 8 Articles
- 2005 February 6 Articles
- 2005 January 10 Articles
- 2004 December 13 Articles
- 2004 November 15 Articles
- 2004 October 15 Articles
- 2004 September 17 Articles
- 2004 August 17 Articles
- 2004 July 14 Articles
- 2004 June 21 Articles
- 2004 May 15 Articles
- 2004 April 20 Articles
- 2004 March 16 Articles
- 2004 February 1 Articles