Streeter Seidell's Article Archive

14 total in March 2008

The Family Business

 


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Stupid Question Hall of Fame

The Week of 03/17

by Streeter Seidell March 24, 2008


The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.

The Nominees
  • A) Pasadena City CollegeSubmitted by Preston

    Professor shows a picture of a man sitting on a high throne with two servant boys kneeling before him...

    Professor: ...and here, you'll see a picture of the Pope.

    The Brilliance: Which one's the Pope?

  • B) Framingham StateSubmitted by Jason

    The professor was talking about older films and the use of black face...

    Lady Einstein 1: What's black face?

    Lady Einstein 2 (after explanation): What was the purpose of it?

  KEEP READING


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The Morning After Top Chef

Animal Cruelty

by Streeter Seidell March 20, 2008



I haunt your dreams
We launch into our second episode with a pretty meh quickfire challenge. The herd is taken to a market in Chicago and given half an hour to shop for ingredients to make an entrée. But here's the catch...they can only use FIVE INGREDIENTS! How will they ever do it?! I must be a world class chef because I make every meal with less than five ingredients. But hey, if Taco Bell can do it, so can our Top Cheffers.

Spike, the scruffy 27-year-old who looks like the guy your girlfriend slept with once in college and who you hate to this day, has a hissy fit over some shitty steak he bought. Other than that the quickfire was pretty tame. Wylie Dufresne, the father of molecular gastronomy (cooking with science), is the guest judge and awards top honors to Mark, the quirky New Zealander.  KEEP READING


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Happy Day After St. Patrick's Day

Well, that was fun. For those of you just joining us, the editorial staff spent yesterday drinking at work and trying to update the site. I thought we did a decent job and you can check out our fine handiwork here. And now, with pounding heads and bloodshot eyes, we return to our regularly scheduled programming.
 


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VOTE!

Here are the five ugliest faces we recieved. Check them out and vote below to determine who will get a free BustedTee.
#1


#2


#3


#4


#5


 


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Happy St. Patty's Day

The editorial staff of CH are spending the day celebrating like all of you. Stay tuned to watch the site descend into a flurry on inside jokes and gross misspellings. Or we might just get mean. I honestly don't know.

Also, if you want to say hi, you can IM Intern Casey at chstpatricksday. Be careful though, we'll (maybe) post the best IMs from the day later so don't say anything you don't want shown to the world.

 


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You've Got Pics, We've Got Beads

And by beads, we mean money, of course. We want to see your craziest, funniest, most ridiculous, most surreal Spring Break pictures. All you ave to do is upload them Here and enter them into the SPRING BREAK!!!!1!! picture contest. We have three prize amounts:


  • SPRING BREAK!!!!!1! $150
  • SPRING BREAK!!! $100
  • SPRING BREAK! $50
So what are you waiting for? You're going to tell everyone your Spring Break was "F*cking insane" anyway, now you'll be able to back that up with a picture on CH and some cash. Here are a few past Spring Break pictures to give you some inspiration.

  KEEP READING


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The Morning After Top Chef

Fresh Meat

by Streeter Seidell March 13, 2008


Sorry this is so long, there is a lot to cover in the season premiere.

After what seemed like a two week hiatus, a new season of Top Chef is upon us. This season the crew heads to Chicago, a city famous for ridiculous hot dogs, artery destroying steaks and monstrously fat people. My kind of town. We begin, as do all season, by meeting our chefs.

Come back to me, Casey!
Immediately, I was disappointed to not see a Casey-level woman in the cast. I realize that Bravo takes enormous pride in not making this show about sex, fighting and the other bullshit on which most reality shows focus, but c'mon, you can't give me a beauty like Casey one season and nothing the next. That sounds cruel but, well, I'm a heterosexual guy watching a channel mostly given over to female and gay programming; throw me a bone, Bravo, and not in that way.

The noobs all meet at Uno Pizzeria, a restaurant with such consistently shitty service that I've vowed never to step foot in one again so long as I live (once, my waiter tried to convince me that pesto came on all their pizzas and that he had to make each pie himself). I would make an exception to visit the original though which happens to be where the Top Cheffers were currently slamming down slices. In that hallowed setting we meet our contestants, or 'cheftestants' as some douchebag marketing manager at Bravo decided to call them.   KEEP READING


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A Tale Of Two Cities, And New Haven

New York City: Boston!  Hey, how's it going, dude?
Boston: Hey man, I'm good, you?
New York City: Can't complain.  Oh, I forgot to ask you last time we...
*New Haven runs into the room*
New Haven: Hey yooooo!  'Sup dudes?
New York City: Ugh...Hey, New Haven.  
New Haven: Hey yourself.  Sup Boston, too cool to say hi?
Boston: Yeah, I am.
New Haven: HA!  Eat a dick, BUTTston!  Ah, the big three, back together again.  So, what's on the agenda, gents?
New York City: Well, I was just going to ask Boston about his marathon this year.  I wanted to make sure we didn't plan them on the same weekend.  
Boston: You're doing the 14th, right?  
New York City:  Yeah.
Boston: That should be fine.  I'm doing the...
New Haven: Whoa, the 14th?  Hate to rain on this parade but I've got a 5K that weekend.  It's pretty big.  A couple hundred people turned up last year and WEBE108 was broadcasting from the finish line.  I wouldn't want you to lose any tourism dollars so maybe you should move yours?
New York City: Nah, I'm good.  I'm sure I'll still get a decent turnout.  
New Haven:  Word, word.  So BUTTston, what's new?  Any new boyfriends?
Boston: Hey, New Haven, how's your arena?
New York City: Hey...come on, man...
Boston: What?  He's a grown up.  
New Haven: It's, uh...Well, funny thing, actually.  I tore it down or whatever.  I was bored with it.  
Boston: Oh wow, you just tore it down all on your own?  Not because it was a blight on the community?  Not because it was home to a whopping zero professional sports teams?  
New York City: Alright, that's enough.  
Boston: Fine...fine.  I wouldn't have to be like that if someone would realize when he's not wanted.  
New Haven: I'm just as much a city as you are, BUTTston!  
*Providence runs in, grabbing New Haven.*
Providence: It's not worth it, man.  You've got Yale, you've got good pizza.  Who cares what Boston says?  Let's go, ok?
New Haven: Yeah...yeah, fine.  
*New Haven and Providence leave.*
New York City: Dude, you two need to learn to get along.  
Boston: Whatever.  He's just a pain in the ass.  You hear that, New Haven?  You're a PAIN IN THE ASS!
*The basement door swings open*
Philadelphia: YO!  Shut the f*ck up, man!  You're being loud as hell.
Boston: Oh my bad...fag.
Philadelphia: What?  
Boston: Nothing. 
 


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Stupid Question Hall of Fame

The Week of 03/03

by Streeter Seidell March 10, 2008


The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.

The Nominees
  • A) TulaneSubmitted by Sam

    Professor: Side note, there will be an eclipse tonight at approximately 8:30pm if any of you want to see it.

    Lady Einstein: Is it a solar eclipse?

    Professor: It's at night...

  • B) University of FloridaSubmitted by Katie

    Before the second test of the semester...

    The Brilliance: What's a denominator?

  KEEP READING


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Your Food, Translated

Simply roll your mouse over the text to reveal its true meaning!

No Trans Fat
Lots of other kinds of fat
Made with real fruit flavors
Made with real fruit flavored chemicals
No sugar added
No extra sugar added
Made with Splenda
Made for fat people
A good source of calcium
A good source of irritated bowels
Part of a complete breakfast
Tell your parents this is part of a complete breakfast
Certified organic
Certified to go bad very quickly
Low carb
High Fat
Low fat
High carb
Low sodium
F*cking awful
 


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FreeVD

Wait...that didn't come out the way I had intended it to. What I meant to say is that we have some free DVDs to give away. The folk over at Comedy Central sent us 10 South Park Imaginationland DVDs and one could be all yours if you do us one small solid.

Let's call this the MSterpiece Contest. Draw whatever you want in MS Paint (or a similarly crappy drawing program) and send it to MSterpiece@Gmail.com. The ten most creative/imaginative submissions will win. It's that simple. Remember, it can be anything, as long as it's done in MS Paint.

If you need a quick refresher on using MS Paint, this video should help.

 


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The Graphic Truth

The Wilder Your Spring Break Spot Is

by Streeter Seidell March 05, 2008



Kidneys in your body
Laws broken
Value of beads in local economy
Time spent untagging yourself in Facebook pictures after your return
Likelihood the water you're drinking is this color
Tigers seen
Tigers wrestled

 


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Stupid Question Hall of Fame

The Week of 03/03

by Streeter Seidell March 03, 2008


The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free BustedTee. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CollegeHumor.com/StupidQuestions.

The Nominees
  • A) PrincetonSubmitted by Vance

    On the first day of class...

    Scholar: You include "2:30-3:20, Mondays and Wednesdays" on the top of the syllabus. Are those your office hours?

    Professor: Those are the class times. That's now. We're in class.

  • B) Miami UniversitySubmitted by Josh

    Professor: And marketers took the NASA invention "Tang" and made it a popular drink

    Stephen Hawking: Who even likes Tang? Seriously, Orange flavored Milk?

    Professor: I believe it's supposed to be mixed with water.

    Stephen Hawking: Oh, I guess that really clears it up then.

  KEEP READING


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Streeter Seidell Fordham

About Me

Streeter enjoys many things, not least of which is being your front page editor here at CollegeHumor. In fact, he likes it so much he decided to get paid for it and make it his career. He spends his days making sure you have enough updates and hotlinks to keep you from your work for at least two hours. Streeter also likes to write; not well, mind you, but frequently. Please, enjoy his archive.

Thanks for being my Internet friend.

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