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Head to the local bar, where most of your senior class still congregates over Thanksgiving. Catch up with old friends, drink beers, and exchange looks over John Fibroni's new rattail. | Head to the local bar and fake indignation that no one remembers you from the high school you didn't actually go to. Explain how you dropped out to get a record deal with your Guns N' Roses coverband, 'Rockin' on Heaven's Door.' Get belligerent. |
| Catch up with an ex for a coffee and turn that coffee into naked coffee. | See a cute girl at the video store and rack your brain for a funny, charming way to ask her out for coffee. Then remember that you rode there on your bike from middle school and leave quietly. |
| Spend some quality time with your parents before meeting up with your buddies for your annual 'Wham Bam Thank You Yam' party. | Spend some quality time with your parents, then play board games with your parents, then watch your mom's favorite movie ('The Lakehouse') with your parents. Then, just when you thought they were going to bed, get stuck in a two hour conversation about finances with your parents. |

I worked at a store in high school as a stocker and cashier. One day, a lady with about ten items came up to the register and I proceeded to ring her up. While I was doing this, she felt the need to tell me her life story and how the courts took her kids away. When I came to the total, she decided she didn't have enough money, and began having me remove one item at a time and retotaling it. I never found out how much money she had to spend, but eventually she worked her way down to two items: a six-pack of beer and toilet paper. She still didn't have enough....guess which one she threw out. No wonder the courts took your kids away. Enjoy your beer and lack of toilet paper.
-Travis, VMI
I'm a middle school teacher and one day in class most of the kids were picking on one student who has a mole on his cheek. The next day, his mother comes in to talk to me as she's picking her son up. The boys mother is about 5 foot 3, about 230 pounds, and has a thick moustache. When I told her I would watch out for her boy, she said thank you and told me she had been made fun of as a kid too. She said she was made fun of for being fat and hairy. As if I needed any more evidence, she pulled down her shirt to reveal a Burt Reynolds type mane of hair on her upper chest. I haven't made eye contact with her in the two months since.
-Anonymous, College of William and Mary
I used to work at a local pet shop a few years back. Lots of cute girls used to pass through since it was near a high school. As an ice breaker for the ladies, I used to have a cockatoo perched up on my shoulder. Little did I know, the little bastard crapped all over my back...it was too late before I found out. I never imagined being cockblocked by a bird.
-Rich, NY


It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Remember when you had me smell your nasty pot of broccoli-and-cheese that you let sit in the sink for two weeks? Yeah, it was pretty nasty. Well, I've been saving my courtesy sniff. I've also been saving a jug of milk in the back of the fridge for two months. It's actually fermented, and I've had to use adhesive to keep the top from shooting off. By the time you read this, I will have called in my courtesy sniff.
Jonathan H., School Not Given



One day after going to the gym I went to my friend's house and a girl suggested to me via text that she give me a ride home. I never had time to shower. Before she dropped me off, we were making out in her car and she started licking my neck. When she came back up to my mouth, all I could taste was the salt from my sweat. She hasn't talked to me since.
-Stuart, UT
My girlfriend and I were watching a college basketball game a few weeks ago. The announcer says "there are 2 minutes left in the first half." My girlfriend turns to me and asks "How many halves are there in a college basketball game?" She is no longer my girlfriend.
-James, PA
The summer before sophomore year of high school I had a boyfriend who I hadn't really done anything with. When it came time for us to kiss, he leaned in and literally sucked the skin around my mouth and stuck his tongue down my throat for minutes on end. Again and again. I went home at 7:30 because I "don't want to wake my parents up".
-Luisa

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"

My dad overheard me and my friends talking about how awesome youtube is. He tried searching for "Youtube Season 1" on DVD.
Benny L
My dad paid 25 dollars for a used VCR. He thinks he got a good deal.
JJ LaMonaca, IUP
My aunt was concerned because she bought Michael Jackson's greatest hits album on iTunes but she hasn't received the CD in the mail yet.
Juan Ramirez, CSUS
My mom couldn't figure out why her e-mails to me were coming back undeliverable for months, even though I gave her my e-mail address several times. Turns out she was sending them with the ending, ".edu.com."
Eric Rapchak
Streeter enjoys many things, not least of which is being your front page...