Made from 100% materials.
Time heals all wounds . . . except amputations.
Nice to Chant at Re-Election Party, Mean to Yell at Birthday Party
"Four more years!"Real Movie Titles That Would Probably Make For Terrible Pornos
- James and the Giant Peach- The Fast and the Furious
- Exit Wounds
My friend grew up Asian, so he says that's why he isn't into Asian girls. I think that makes a lot of sense, because I grew up fat...
Do you think it's rude for deaf people to talk with food in there hands?
Rich or Alzheimer's?
- You know, I can't remember the last time I spent less than 50 dollars on a meal? That includes breakfast.- Does public transportation even exist anymore?
- Are you my wife?
If I was a ref at a Harlem Globetrotters game, I would call them for traveling, then throw them out if they argued, then steal some kid's popcorn.
Blind Date Revealed
"Ok, so I lied. In all honesty, I prefer moderately lengthed walks on the beach. So we're gonna have to turn around and walk back well before I get tired."
How To Do Stand-Up
by Susanna Wolff May 20, 2008
Away Message Break Up
by Jake Hurwitz May 24, 2008
It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.
Freshman year, that creepy guy at the crosswalk gave us both a miniature bible. You threw yours away and somebody made a joke about you going to hell for throwing away a Bible. When you weren't looking I took the bible out of the garbage and hid it in your sock drawer. Then when you asked me two weeks later whether or not you had thrown it away, I just said "I thought so." Then I took it out of the garbage again and hid it in your closet drawer. When you found it and freaked out, I played it cool. I knew you were suspicious of me, so I looked for it for a few days before I found it in your porn stash(which was well hidden, by the way). Then I checked every day until the bible was gone (you must have thrown it away in the dumpster.) then I put my identical bible in your drawer. Then when you were really scared and told me what was going on, I was a total dick and said you should probably tell your priest. I'm really sorry, I didnt think you'd actually tell your priest that you hid a bible with a bunch of porn.
Andy, USD
We have a super annoying roommate. Basically everything she does makes us want to slap her. She goes home to visit her mommy every weekend so we throw parties when she's out of town and let anyone who wants to have sex on her bed. It usually happens a few times every weekend. What's worse is we've never seen her wash her sheets.
Kendall, UIC
Andy, USD
We have a super annoying roommate. Basically everything she does makes us want to slap her. She goes home to visit her mommy every weekend so we throw parties when she's out of town and let anyone who wants to have sex on her bed. It usually happens a few times every weekend. What's worse is we've never seen her wash her sheets.
Kendall, UIC
Schools out! Are the next three months going to be nothing but pool parties and pizza, or will they suck? Just answer these six simple questions to find out!
Streeter Seidell
Fordham
About Me
About Me
Streeter enjoys many things, not least of which is being your front page editor here at CollegeHumor. In fact, he likes it so much he decided to get paid for it and make it his career. He spends his days making sure you have enough updates and hotlinks to keep you from your work for at least two hours. Streeter also likes to write; not well, mind you, but frequently. Please, enjoy his archive.
Thanks for being my Internet friend.
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