Senior year, my girlfriend and I broke my bed while making love (j/k- while boning). My roommate's dog was under the bed. He wasn't injured, but then again, he wasn't quite the same there after. Sorry Duke.
-Anonymous

I once bought my (ex)girlfriend flowers for no reason. Immediately after I gave them to her my roommate came home and we started talking about what he was doing for his girlfriend for thier anniversary. With the flowers still in her hand she turned to me and said "Why don't you ever do things like that for me?"
-Will

I was a 19 year old college freshman dating another 19 year old college freshman. We stopped in at a Dunkin' Donuts that he frequented. Upon walking up to the counter, the cashier said, "Oh hi, Chris! Is this your mom?"
-Hillari

My significant other of a year and a half cried hysterically for an hour and swore to never talk to me again because I jokingly said I was more attractive then her.
-Nick

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The type of RA you have can either help make or break your first year of college. Luckily, there's an easy way to size up what you're dealing with: their door decoration of choice.

The Stickler: You've been assigned to freshman hall 2C, and what better way to celebrate the fact that 'C' and 'sea' sound the same than with a charming, pun-based ocean theme. Cute, right? WRONG. Not only has your RA used a college hall pun so tired it makes Benicio Del Toro look alert, but your entire dorm looks like Finding Nemo barfed on it. On top of that, those octopuses were cut individually by hand, which means hours upon hours of meticulous scissorwork. Dedication like that can only come from the most hardcore of RAs.

What You Can Get Away With: Nothing. Like the marine animals covering your door, your RA's senses are so heightened that she can sense an illegal hot plate from five rooms over. Her favorite citation to deliver is a noise violation, so unless you can convincingly argue that you and your friends were attempting to recreate the sounds of orcas during mating season, you might as well just throw those speakers away.

As a continuation of Photoshop Ph-Thursday, roll over for the Photoshopped versions of these pictures.

Thought dorm living was cramped?  Try living in a Pokeball.

*Knock* *Knock*

Me: Hello?

Tamagotchi: It's been a long time, Brian.

Me: Blobby!?

Tamagotchi: I'm surprised you recognize me after all these years.

Me: I...I had no idea you were still alive. *Goes in for a hug*

Tamagotchi: Don't touch me! Don't you dare F*CKING touch me.

Me: But-

Tamagotchi: No! Don't explain yourself to me. I've waited my whole life for this moment; to finally tell you off.

Me: I'm so sorry, Son.

Tamagotchi: Son!? SON? You think you have the right to call me that? I lived in a pile of my own sh*t for 12 years! There was no one to clean up after me.

Train Horn-


Train: WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT, I AM A TRAIN.

Me: Ah! Jesus, what time is it?

Train: I AM THE 3AM TRAIN OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW. DON'T GO ONTO THE TRACKS!

Me: Wha- It's three o'clock in the morning. I was asleep, in my bed. In my home.

Train: CAN'T STOP TO TALK. I HAVE TO DELIVER A VERY IMPORTANT SHIPMENT OF NOTHING AT ALL. WATCH OUT FOR ME, THE TRAIN.

Me: I am not watching out. I am going back to sleep.

Train: WE COULD TALK A LITTLE, IF YOU WANT. I AM VERY LONELY!

The girl that lived upstairs from me in my apartment building for a year and a half without a problem recently got a boyfriend. And now she was having sex. Bed pounding, mattress creaking, climaxing so loud I had to jump out of bed and hide in the bathroom until it was over, sex. I've never actually met the girl, but if she were in a line-up and all the suspects had to turn to the left and then orgasm, I could pick her out no problem.

Other than the offensive noises, I'm most upset because upstairs girl and I had a routine. We'd both come home clomping in our high heels. And at night we'd both watch "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report," on top of each other. Of course I was the only one who could hear what the two of us were doing, but my apartment building has really thin ceilings and wooden floors. So I made due by making jokes. Until now.