Alex Branson's Articles
2 total in February 2007
Romance Novels for Frat Guys
I barely noticed her as she walked into the room, being completely engrossed in working on my car. She was nude, coated in a thin layer of weight gain powder as she called my name. I, of course, did not remember hers (all women are whores). I put down the wrench and stopped working on my Mustang (1-60 in 4 seconds, yeah, not a big deal) as I looked towards her. "Now THAT'S what I'M TALKING ABOUT!" I yelled as I took off my slightly tilted hat and put down my natty.
The Massacre: A Poem
50 Cent bit his lip as he hoisted his sword
Preparing for the advancing, awful horde
Comprised of vicious beasts, orcs and trolls
Ogres, dragons, rats, and even gnolls
No fear in his eyes, just gangsta beats
Mithril armor around gangsta feets
The 36 Chambers, he had to defend
Even if dragonskin armor he must rend
He reached for the blade, the Sword of Sages
A magnificent blade for all of the ages
Fifty Cent, New York, represent
Fake buster-ass orcs need not repent
No reinforcements for him were now in sight
Lloyd Banks was resting in Jersey tonight
Young Buck was taming Unicorns in the east
Eminem was a day’s ride away, at least
An unexpected ally, that’s what he would need
His magics burned through orcskin, no easy deed
Suddenly, there was something, a familiar sound
Hyphy beats dropping quickly, flambosting around
50 Cent smiled and said, “There is hope today,”
”Came to my relief, Ghost Riders from the Bay.”
General E-40 cast lightning; it cracked with a pow
Ghost Riders scraped through as 40 yelled “Tadow!”
The beasts were beaten, 50 was badly injured
Obvious to him that this army was conjured
What powerful wizard could these beasts persuade
What ridiculous beats could he have made?
His mind rang, these answers he was not hearing
As the Warlock Nas appeared now in the clearing
Preparing for the advancing, awful horde
Comprised of vicious beasts, orcs and trolls
Ogres, dragons, rats, and even gnolls
No fear in his eyes, just gangsta beats
Mithril armor around gangsta feets
The 36 Chambers, he had to defend
Even if dragonskin armor he must rend
He reached for the blade, the Sword of Sages
A magnificent blade for all of the ages
Fifty Cent, New York, represent
Fake buster-ass orcs need not repent
No reinforcements for him were now in sight
Lloyd Banks was resting in Jersey tonight
Young Buck was taming Unicorns in the east
Eminem was a day’s ride away, at least
An unexpected ally, that’s what he would need
His magics burned through orcskin, no easy deed
Suddenly, there was something, a familiar sound
Hyphy beats dropping quickly, flambosting around
50 Cent smiled and said, “There is hope today,”
”Came to my relief, Ghost Riders from the Bay.”
General E-40 cast lightning; it cracked with a pow
Ghost Riders scraped through as 40 yelled “Tadow!”
The beasts were beaten, 50 was badly injured
Obvious to him that this army was conjured
What powerful wizard could these beasts persuade
What ridiculous beats could he have made?
His mind rang, these answers he was not hearing
As the Warlock Nas appeared now in the clearing
Think you can write a better poem than this one? Post it and send the link to CHPoetryCorner@gmail.com. Each week we'll pick one poem to be featured in this spot. Put quill to scroll and get writing!
Check out past poems here.
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