CollegeHumor: Comments by Tom Sunnergren

CollegeHumor: Comments by Tom Sunnergren http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761651 The Only Emails I Could Receive That Would Justify the Frequency with Which I Check My Email Thu, 04 Sep 2008 13:07:15 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761651 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> From Free-Range Chickens.

Hey Simon,
It's Danielle, the quiet girl you said "hi" to once at Academic Camp the summer after junior year of high school. I'd explain how I tracked you down and got your e-mail address, but there just isn't enough time: in three minutes, I'm leaving on a jet plane for the Bahamas. (I know-I should have e-mailed earlier!) Anyway, I've been secretly in love with you for the past six years and I want you to come live with me in paradise. If you write back in the next three minutes, I can get the pilot to wait for you. If you don't respond by then, I'll have no choice but to assume that our feelings are not reciprocal.

Danielle

Dear Mr. Rich,
This is the IRS. We have a feeling that you may have accidentally exaggerated some of your business expenses this year, but we don't want to trouble you with something as unpleasant as a tax audit. Can you do us a favor and just send over a quick e-mail confirming that you told the truth on all of your forms? You don't have to explain your specific expenses-you can just put "It's all true" in the subject heading, or something to that effect. If you write us back before the tax deadline, which is in three minutes, then we'll consider this matter closed. Otherwise, we'll have no choice but to take your silence as an admission of guilt and send you to prison.

IRS

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747572"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/2/collegehumor.71dd5a1e8c95ea55016474f26461ba0c.gif"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1747572">Simon Rich</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 227 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 ill conceived Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:09:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Apparently Sarah Palin chose to keep her child despite learning he had down syndrome when he was still in utero.

Unfortunately it wasn't the first time a republican stubbornly refused to bail on something that was completely retarded from conception.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-02 18:09:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 ill conceived Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:09:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Apparently Sarah Palin chose to keep her child despite learning he had down syndrome when he was still in utero.

Unfortunately it wasn't the first time a republican stubbornly refused to bail on something that was completely retarded from conception.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-02 18:09:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 ill conceived Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:09:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Apparently Sarah Palin chose to keep her child despite learning he had down syndrome when he was still in utero.

Unfortunately it wasn't the first time a republican stubbornly refused to bail on something that was completely retarded from conception.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-02 18:09:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 ill conceived Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:09:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Apparently Sarah Palin chose to keep her child despite learning he had down syndrome when he was still in utero.

Unfortunately it wasn't the first time a republican stubbornly refused to bail on something that was completely retarded from conception.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-02 18:09:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 ill conceived Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:09:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761530 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Apparently Sarah Palin chose to keep her child despite learning he had down syndrome when he was still in utero.

Unfortunately it wasn't the first time a republican stubbornly refused to bail on something that was completely retarded from conception.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-02 18:09:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760169 Issue #72 Tue, 05 Aug 2008 16:10:40 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760169 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Brought to you by Scrabulous: Home Edition

Wikipedia Should Change the Default For These Pages

- Anthrax
- Halo
-GUTS

-Jeff Rubin

I don't like post-apocalyptic films. I like present-apocalyptic films. Like Apocalypse Now.

-Shawn Pearlman

What Taco Bell Doesn't Want You to Know About Its Food

Anything.

-PapaBear Colbert

I love you like a fat kid loves cake: You were great at the time but you ruined high school for me.

-Jackson Liggett

Do you think the National Competitive Eaters Association bans marijuana as a performance-enhancing drug?

-Mark V

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/3/collegehumor.32aef8c071da54cebf90f683568f0d30.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715">105%-O-Matic</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1446"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 120 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759538 Whoops... Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:14:22 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759538 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

I got a pirated copy of "The Dark Knight" last night and wasn't that impressed.

Turns out I bought the wrong movie.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 3 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759310 CollegeHumor Movie Review: The Dark Knight Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:13:05 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759310 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

This symbol was derived from an old Roman diety, the God of 'Epic Win'

I'm going to start off this weeks article with a moment of disturbing realism that many of us may be afraid to admit to. On January 22nd 2008 when Heath Ledger died due to an accidental overdose, about 95% of people reacted to the news in this manner: "Oh my God...did they finish The Dark Knight?" The level of anticipation for this movie has been just as high as, or higher than any other film in recent memory. Batman Begins was a movie that not only redeemed the entire Batman franchise from such horrific failures as Batman and Robin, and Batman Forever, but also redefined the comic book movie genre by adding levels of intense realism, dark protagonist character conflict, and situations concerning the morality of man.

Everyone has been sitting on pins and needles over this movie for the past 3 years, and why not? There's a lot that has been hanging in the balance. Is it possible that this movie will be able to stand up to the greatness of Batman Begins? Or will it be a gross disappointment that tarnishes the series we fell in love with, like Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3, and Spider-Man 3? Will Heath Ledgers acting stand out since the last great portrayal of the Joker; Jack Nicholson in the 1989 Batman?

Gather 'round, children, and lets find out.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-19 14:13:05 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 126 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759310 CollegeHumor Movie Review: The Dark Knight Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:13:05 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759310 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

This symbol was derived from an old Roman diety, the God of 'Epic Win'

I'm going to start off this weeks article with a moment of disturbing realism that many of us may be afraid to admit to. On January 22nd 2008 when Heath Ledger died due to an accidental overdose, about 95% of people reacted to the news in this manner: "Oh my God...did they finish The Dark Knight?" The level of anticipation for this movie has been just as high as, or higher than any other film in recent memory. Batman Begins was a movie that not only redeemed the entire Batman franchise from such horrific failures as Batman and Robin, and Batman Forever, but also redefined the comic book movie genre by adding levels of intense realism, dark protagonist character conflict, and situations concerning the morality of man.

Everyone has been sitting on pins and needles over this movie for the past 3 years, and why not? There's a lot that has been hanging in the balance. Is it possible that this movie will be able to stand up to the greatness of Batman Begins? Or will it be a gross disappointment that tarnishes the series we fell in love with, like Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3, and Spider-Man 3? Will Heath Ledgers acting stand out since the last great portrayal of the Joker; Jack Nicholson in the 1989 Batman?

Gather 'round, children, and lets find out.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-19 14:13:05 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 126 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759286 Things That Are Better Than Jesus Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:27:53 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759286 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> While Jesus was and is still well known for his time on Earth 2,000 years ago, in a modern context there are many items that accomplish the same things he did, and then some. For example:

Jesus

Cell Phones

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1328040"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/3/collegehumor.91e0acec2f6fc184dcac808329183544.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1328040">Tommy</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:205"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759035 Wheelchair Rugby Injury Report Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:46:04 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759035 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> 7/15/08

Jason Regier	Neck	Probable
Scott Hogsett	Neck	Probable
Norm Lyduch	Neck	Probable
Andy Cohn	Neck	Probable
Will Groulx	Neck	Probable
Bryan Kirkland	Neck	Probable
Seth McBride	Neck	Probable
Nick Springer	Neck	Probable
Chance Sumner	Neck	Probable
Mark Zupan	Neck	Probable

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-14 17:46:04 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 9 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759091 Issue #69 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:38:43 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759091 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Has my father been sent to the cornfield? 'Cause this is a dream come true!

I figured I had failed my company's drug test because I put "C" for every answer. Turns it they just wanted a urine sample. I was really high that day.

-Conor McKeon

Rhetorical Answer

Q: What disease would you just kill yourself if you had??
A: Depression.

-Amir Blumenfeld

The grass is always greener when you are not color blind.

-Rich MacKenzie

Live-Blogging A Comedy Show

10:31 - LOL
10:32 - LOL
10:34 - LOL
10:35 - ROFL
10:36 - GTG

-Streeter Seidell

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/3/collegehumor.32aef8c071da54cebf90f683568f0d30.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715">105%-O-Matic</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1446"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 177 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759035 Wheelchair Rugby Injury Report Mon, 14 Jul 2008 17:46:04 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759035 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> 7/15/08

Jason Regier	Neck	Probable
Scott Hogsett	Neck	Probable
Norm Lyduch	Neck	Probable
Andy Cohn	Neck	Probable
Will Groulx	Neck	Probable
Bryan Kirkland	Neck	Probable
Seth McBride	Neck	Probable
Nick Springer	Neck	Probable
Chance Sumner	Neck	Probable
Mark Zupan	Neck	Probable

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-14 17:46:04 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 9 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759016 A Conversation With a Man Who Only Talks in Beatles Song Titles Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:51:39 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759016 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> MWOTIBST: Good Morning, Good Morning.
Me: Hey buddy, how's it going?
MWOTIBST: Getting Better.
Me: That's good, walk down this hallway with me and we'll talk.
MWOTIBST: Something in the Way.
Me: Oh that's just an empty box, I'll move it.
MWOTIBST: Wait.
Me: Oh yeah, go ahead and tie your shoe. So, when are you and your fiancée planning on tying the knot?
MWOTIBST: When I'm Sixty-Four.
Me: Wow that's really planning ahead. What was her name again?
MWOTIBST: Sexy Sadie.
Me: That's um... unique. Where is she anyway?
MWOTIBST: Back in the U.S.S.R.
Me: Oh, so she's one of those mail-order brides, eh? So how's school going?
MWOTIBST: Helter Skelter.
Me: Well that's not good.
MWOTIBST: I'm So Tired.
Me: Maybe you should take a nap...
MWOTIBST: I'll Cry Instead.
Me: ...alright.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:565851"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/b/collegehumor.6373d99cdef768d5a492fa8b017600f7.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-14 12:51:39 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:565851">Goroman</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1127"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 58 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758666 The Doctor Is Always In Mon, 07 Jul 2008 22:41:07 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758666 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> After waiting for a few minutes, Michael Kingston is greeted by his primary care physician.

Dr. Norton: Mr. Kingston, how are we today?
Mr. Kingston: Oh hey doc, not too bad, but the throat's been sore for a few days now.
Dr. Norton: Sorry to hear that. I've heard there's a flu going around, that might be it. Why don't we take a look then.
Mr. Kingston: Okay.
Dr. Norton: Yep, throat's pretty swollen and red.
Mr. Kingston: I figured as much.
Dr. Norton: Okay, let's check everything else out.

Norton gives a thorough examination of the ears, eyes, and throat glands.!slice

Dr. Norton: Okay Mr. Kingston, now I'm going to need you to drop your pants for me.
Mr. Kingston: Really?
Dr. Norton: It's standard procedure for a proper examination, Mr. Kingston. And this isn't the first time I've had you do this for me before.
Mr. Kingston: I know, I'm just a little uncomfortable.
Dr. Norton: Everything will be fine, I'm a professional. I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about.

Mr.Kingston drops his pants and coughs as the doctor examines him.

Dr. Norton: Okay all set, now that wasn't so hard, right?
Mr. Kingston: I guess not, sorry for putting up such a stink.
Dr. Norton: It's no problem. Now, here's a prescription for some medication that should help with the swelling, and I'm going to recommend that you drink plenty of fluids and get plenty of rest and you should be fine in a couple of days. If the problems continue, call the office.
Mr. Kingston: Thank you I'll do that.
Dr. Norton: You have a nice day.
Mr. Kingston: You too.
Dr. Norton: By the way, try the babyback ribs, they're phenomenal.
Waitress: He's right, and tonight's 3 dollar pitcher night. Can I start you off with some appetizers?

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657072"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/8/collegehumor.06098b8bb7a6234c386249d817f7bddb.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-07 22:41:07 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657072">Conor McKeon</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:529"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 30 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758407 Issue #67 Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:53:46 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758407 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

The best 5 dollars you can spend. Because you won't.

I was in the hospital and I heard from one of the rooms, "Don't worry everyone, I'm gonna beat this thing." Which I thought was a really positive thing to say, until I realized it came from the maternity ward.

-Conor McKeon

How do people call Batman for help during the day? If I lived in Gotham, I'd just rob banks after lunch.

-Dom Tetro

MIT Stupid Question Hall Of Fame

Professor: No compact Hausdorff space and no complete metric space is both countable and perfect.
Euler: Wait, could this be used to show their are no odd perfect numbers?

-Matt Sartwell

Spiritual Guide of the Day

Live life as a dog would. If you cant eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away.

-Carlos SantaMaria

One major advantage to being in a coma? Free beard.

-Ed Berkley

The Boys and Girls Club would be much creepier if it was a fan club. Or a weapon.

-Patrick Cassels

Orphans don't have it so bad; they have it really bad.

-Streeter Seidell

Could whoever is giving homeless people markers please stop? Their signs are really bumming me out.

-Jeff Rubin

The Breakup

My ex-girlfriend always had a soft spot for my roommate. Unfortunately it was her vagina.

-Tom Sunnergren

Click here to submit your own 105%.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/3/collegehumor.32aef8c071da54cebf90f683568f0d30.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715">105%-O-Matic</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1446"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 88 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758245 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Wall-E Sun, 29 Jun 2008 23:41:45 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758245 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

His cute level is over 9000

After a lot of serious thought and scenario consideration, I've decided that the following happened: About 2 years ago, the most powerful people at Pixar sat down at a secret conference table, naturally located 20 miles below the earth's surface, and said "Gentlemen, we've done some good work, but we need to make the end all be all cutest character in the history of animation." Wouldn't ya know it? They succeeded.

Pixar is a movie making juggernaut. Whatever visual MSG they've been putting in their films these past few years has paid off in ways that are probably surprising even to them. It's hard to think that the people responsible for such classics, including probably the greatest animated film of all time, Finding Nemo, can continue making great movies year after year without even breaking a sweat, but they do.

When I first saw the trailers for Wall-E, it looked so damned sugary and cute I thought I'd slip into a diabetic coma halfway through. The movie looked good, but I was nervous it would be too cute...Don't get me wrong, I like cuddling and all that cutesy crap just as much as the next guy, but I half expected to be eating fist-fulls of salt in the theater just to balance out the sweet overload. Thankfully that wasn't the case, and I can say without a doubt that this movie is just plain awesome.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-06-29 23:41:45 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 45 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756669 Two Nazis Working at a Start-Up Magazine for Nazis Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:20:34 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756669 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> "How'd the first issue go?"
"We got a ton of hate mail."
"Great!"

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 36 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756669 Two Nazis Working at a Start-Up Magazine for Nazis Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:20:34 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756669 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> "How'd the first issue go?"
"We got a ton of hate mail."
"Great!"

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/9/collegehumor.2a4aa6e8b389597568dd52190c4645ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:276">Tom Sunnergren</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:92"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 36 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />