Coach Bill Belichick discusses a new game plan with offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels after Tom Brady's season-ending injury.
Belichick: How's Brady look?
McDaniels: Pretty bad.
Belichick: Do we need to resort to an emergency plan?
McDaniels: We might have to.
Belichick: Is amputating his leg and replacing it with a machine gun a possibility?
McDaniels: That was a movie.
Belichick: What about that football launcher they use during practice?
McDaniels: What about it?
Belichick: Does it look anything like Brady?
McDaniels: No.
Belichick: Dammit. What about Bo Jackson, is he still around?
McDaniels: I believe so.
Belichick: Sign Bo and cut the rest of the team.
McDaniels: Um.. sir...
Belichick: Wait... who is that famous girls softball player?
McDaniels: Jennie Finch?
Belichick: Is she available?
McDaniels: I don't think pitching translates very well in football.
Belichick: I said nothing about football.
McDaniels: I'll look into it.
Belichick: And while your at it see if you can figure out if Brady has a son.
McDaniels: He does, but he's only 13 months old.
Belichick: How often is he breastfed?
McDaniels: Sir... I think we should stick to using our second-string quarterback.
Belichick: Excuse me?
McDaniels: Matt Cassel.
Belichick: How 'bout you finish up cutting those sleeves off my sweatshirts then get the hell out of my office.

More Awesome at Fatawesome.
Apparently Sarah Palin chose to keep her child despite learning he had down syndrome when he was still in utero.
Unfortunately it wasn't the first time a republican stubbornly refused to bail on something that was completely retarded from conception.

7/15/08
| Jason Regier | Neck | Probable |
| Scott Hogsett | Neck | Probable |
| Norm Lyduch | Neck | Probable |
| Andy Cohn | Neck | Probable |
| Will Groulx | Neck | Probable |
| Bryan Kirkland | Neck | Probable |
| Seth McBride | Neck | Probable |
| Nick Springer | Neck | Probable |
| Chance Sumner | Neck | Probable |
| Mark Zupan | Neck | Probable |
After waiting for a few minutes, Michael Kingston is greeted by his primary care physician.
Dr. Norton: Mr. Kingston, how are we today?
Mr. Kingston: Oh hey doc, not too bad, but the throat's been sore for a few days now.
Dr. Norton: Sorry to hear that. I've heard there's a flu going around, that might be it. Why don't we take a look then.
Mr. Kingston: Okay.
Dr. Norton: Yep, throat's pretty swollen and red.
Mr. Kingston: I figured as much.
Dr. Norton: Okay, let's check everything else out.
Norton gives a thorough examination of the ears, eyes, and throat glands.!slice
Dr. Norton: Okay Mr. Kingston, now I'm going to need you to drop your pants for me.
Mr. Kingston: Really?
Dr. Norton: It's standard procedure for a proper examination, Mr. Kingston. And this isn't the first time I've had you do this for me before.
Mr. Kingston: I know, I'm just a little uncomfortable.
Dr. Norton: Everything will be fine, I'm a professional. I can assure you that you have nothing to worry about.
Mr.Kingston drops his pants and coughs as the doctor examines him.
Dr. Norton: Okay all set, now that wasn't so hard, right?
Mr. Kingston: I guess not, sorry for putting up such a stink.
Dr. Norton: It's no problem. Now, here's a prescription for some medication that should help with the swelling, and I'm going to recommend that you drink plenty of fluids and get plenty of rest and you should be fine in a couple of days. If the problems continue, call the office.
Mr. Kingston: Thank you I'll do that.
Dr. Norton: You have a nice day.
Mr. Kingston: You too.
Dr. Norton: By the way, try the babyback ribs, they're phenomenal.
Waitress: He's right, and tonight's 3 dollar pitcher night. Can I start you off with some appetizers?
"I don't believe in free speech."
"Shut up about that."
"Ok."
wtf dude. get ur own thing




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