Jeff Rubin's Articles

10 total in September 2006

  • Soup For You - an interview with Spike Feresten

    You may have never heard of Spike Feresten, but you certainly know his work. He is responsible for some of the all-time greatest episodes of Seinfeld, including The Muffin Tops, The Bookstore, and The Soup Nazi. Over his career Spike also wrote for The Simpsons, Space Ghost Coast To Coast, and The Late Show With David Letterman. His newest endeavor is Talk Show with Spike Feresten, a Saturday night talk show on FOX.

    You got kicked out of your dorm for dropping light bulbs out your eighth story window at the Berklee College of Music - is there anything they didn't catch you doing?

    That was the big one. Eventually, that's what lead me to television because a couple of weeks later, I saw David Letterman doing the exact same thing on TV and I thought, "God, he is getting paid. This is what network television pays you to do. Maybe I need to think twice about this music career."

    You wrote a few episodes of Space Ghost Coast to Coast. I've always wondered, how does the writing process for Space Ghost work?

    Two things: First you pitch them an idea that you want to do. Once they say they like the direction you are going, there is a lot of creative freedom, so they let you write it. They send you a list of people they have interviewed as guests. They have already done the interviews. They have the voice of Space Ghost ask a bunch of questions and they have a bunch of responses. You can pick your guest and see if it works within the premise of your show then you get to re-write the questions.
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  • Nothing's More Satisfying Than

  • Not studying for a test, and narrowly beating your friend who did.

  • Scratching a mosquito bite.

  • Turning on HBO and catching Total Recall right at the part with the 3-breasted stripper.

  • Punching a clown.

  • Thinking you woke up late, and then discovering you still have over an hour to sleep.

  • Proving a teacher wrong.

  • Trading a first round fantasy football draft pick to a friend, then watching him get injured next week. The draft pick, not your friend.

  • Getting an onion ring with your fries.

  • When you poop and don't have to wipe.

  • Finding a 20 in a jacket you haven't worn since last Winter.

  • Signing up to do charity work. Then, ditching the charity work to have sex with like five chicks. But your girlfriend still thinks you did the charity work.
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  • Upcoming Horrible TV Shows

    Help Me Help You - Ted Danson runs a weekly group therapy session for six zany, white patients. Here's the twist you've never seen on TV before - they all live in New York! it's Frasier meets Becker with a dash of that Bruce Willis movie that has the ridiulous sex scene!

    Men in Trees - A relationship counselor moves to Alaska, where she meets various white men she may or may not have sex with by sweeps. It's Sex & The City meets Northern Exposure!
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  • Rejected Name for a Hip-Hop Group

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  • Weird Al Yankerview


    This week I got a chance to interview one of my childhood heroes, Weird Al Yankovic. Like many of us, I memorized Weird Al song parodies years before I knew the originals. Al has stayed popular and relevant for almost 25 years, and is now parodying genres that didn't even exist when he started.

    Al's newest album, Straight Outta Lynwood, drops next week and features parodies of Chamillionaire and Green Day, amongst others.

    What's your writing process like? Do you pick a song and then work on it? Or do you hear a song, notice a word that rhymes with pizza, and then go for it?
    Oh, come on, that’s really unfair… less than 10% of my songs are about pizza. Anyway, yeah, once I’ve come up with a list of songs that I think would be good candidates, I just try to think of puns, variations on a theme, incongruous applications of pop cultural references… that kind of stuff. When I think an idea is strong enough, I’ll approach the original artist to see if I can get permission.
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  • iPods are great, but they still don't...

    - Store more than 80 gigs of data
    - Play two mp3s at the same time
    - Make her like you
    - Buy you a new iPod every 9 months
    - Make you happy
    - Fit inside of a mechanical pencil
    - Replace a balanced diet
    - Love you back
    - Bring back Grandma
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  • Secrets Every Freshman Should Know

  • The key to drinking terrible beer is to drink it fast.
  • Pizza can be eaten multiple times a day with virtually no immediate negative effects.
  • At least one of your professors smokes pot.
  • It's nobody's job to wash the dining room silverware.
  • There is a Santa Claus, and you'll get to meet him right after graduation!
  • If you have a professor who owns an iPod and a messenger bag, he's slept with a girl in your class.
  • Before he was expelled, Tom Riddle built an enormous chamber underneath the chemistry department that only his true heir can open.
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  • Proper Condom Usage

    You've been waiting for it all summer - the first weekend back on campus. Get out there and go crazy, but remember to stay safe. Just in case you forgot, here are some tips for proper condom usage:

  • Some people think using two condoms is safer than using one. This is, of course, true. Why stop there? Three condoms is better than two, and four are better than three. This continues all the way up to eight. Don't use more than eight, unless she's really dirty.
  • By the time you finally meet a girl, you may be too drunk to find or even put on a condom. This has the potential to be very embarrassing, so remember to put on at least five condoms before leaving your apartment.
  • If no condom is handy, find and disembowel the nearest lamb and use his or her intestine. DO NOT use the large intestine unless you are unusually well endowed.

    • Have fun, and remember not to take advice from websites seriously.
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  • Prank Ideas

    Do you have someone you'd like to piss off, but can't quite figure out the best way to do it? Maybe you'll get an idea by looking through some of the greatest pranks in the history of CollegeHumor.



    We've got pranks with aluminum foil, packing popcorn, cake frosting, snow, water cups, leaves, straws, hay, hand dryer, trolls, post-it notes, garbage, newspaper, port-o-potty, paper shreddings, and even fried chicken.

    Did we miss anything? Leave suggestions in the comments.
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  • Celebrity Deaths - Who's Next?

    It's widely accepted that celebrity deaths come in threes - but who's next?

    Peter Wentz - A sudden, tragic death would make Pete the poet of a generation. I'm thinking hot air balloon accident while taping a video.

    David Blaine - Likely to die doing what he loves - being frozen in a block of ice, suspended over the Hudson river, with no food or toilet.

    Tom Petty - tick tock tick tock, Mr. Petty.

    Charlie on Lost - The writers are probably looking to pull something big during the season 3 opener. Charlie's plot line is boring, and his death would be a shock.
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    • Jeff Rubin Penn State

    About Me

    Jeff's likes - captioning CollegeHumor pictures, Parker Brother's Sorry! (preferably played with teams), pajama pants, Entenmann's Chocolate Chip Original Recipe Cookies, Arrested Development, when it suddenly starts to rain heavily on a Spring day.

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    If you like celebrity trash getting wasted and exposing themselves, you only need to know one name: Lindsay Lohan. But also DerekHail.com because that's where pics of our favorite trainwrecks end up.