Jeff: Mutant League Football is the obvious choice here. Here's a game that had it all: button-hooks, a deep playbook, bad puns, and explosive farts. It's an unbeatable combination.

Amir: Wrong, Jeff. An unbeatable combination is 50-50, air japan, revert-manual, one foot smith, air-jesus, revert-manual, and then a series of board tricks that make Rodney Mullen look like a retard on a two-by- four. The Tony Hawk series of games is the best alternative sports game. It's infinitely entertaining, and best of all it was educational. Did you guys know there is something called the Onigri Gap in Japan? Yeah, supposedly skaters do tricks off of it all the time.

Clinton usually scores from inside the paint.

Ethan: This one's easy. NBA Jam. Full court two-on-two never looked so realistic. Between all of the easter eggs, Rony Seikaly, and the ability to catch fire, who cares that there's less defense than in a typical Globetrotters game? And really, who needs Michael Jordan when you've got Air Dog and not one, but two playable Clintons (Bill and George)?

Jeff: Jam had plenty of defense. I once saw programmer Ed Boon jump his entire height to block a shot by Sub-Zero. Sure, he still got called on goal tending but at least he prevented the other team from catching fire.

Ethan: Good point. I guess I want Arch-Rivals style punching in every basketball game.

Amir: Just watch the Pacers!!!! Also, the black-oil spills on their court is very Arch-Rivals-esque. And flat-out inexcusable.

Jeff: I've always hated the idea that the best sports games were the most realistic. The best sports games are the ones that distill the best elements of a real life game and extrapolate them into a fantasy world of players exploding on the field and homing buzzsaws. So let's just agree nothing will ever top Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball and move on.