Jeff Rubin's Articles

5 total in March 2008

  • Parents Just Don't Understand

    We'll Never Grow Up!

    by Jeff Rubin March 25, 2008


    Do your parents not understand technology? None of them do, they're all morons! People that dumb shouldn't be allowed to breed. It's tragic, really.

    If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, embarrass them and send it to parentsjustdontunderstand (at) gmail.com.

    • Your parents' Guitar Hero.
      My dad watches Tae-bo VHS tapes on a tv in his gym, but he wanted to convert them to DVD. His solution was to place his new macbook on the top of a ladder and use the built-in webcam to tape the TV, then try to burn them onto a disc.
      -Steve from Loyola

    • My mom asked me to find her the video of Ms. Philippines on YouTube. I explained to her that the video was on CollegeHumor and she replied, "Nevermind, I don't have that."
      -Matt from O'Connell High School

    • I found this "review" for Thank You for Smoking while browsing Netflix:

      "We don't want any R rated movies sent to us. We know that this limits our choices, But that's O.K. When I ordered this movie I didn't know that it was rated R. If I order another one by accident, don't send it. Thanks, Jan."
      -Sara

    • And a very special sisters don't understand...
      My girlfriend and I were trying to connect to the wireless network at her house but were having problems. Her little sister, a high school senior, then told us that we should try and connect to an unprotected network at the Linksys' house. When we explained it was a company and not a name, she told us that she had been trying to figure out for months where in the neighborhood the Linksys family lived. She couldn't understand why she could still access their network at her boyfriends house a couple of miles away. She figured that they just had a "really strong connection."
      -Rodrigo from Syracuse
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  • Super Smash Bros. Brawl Clash Rumpus


    (click to watch)

    Jeff and Patrick are joined by Alison Becker of VH1 and Lonny Ross of 30 Rock for a rumble in the Mushroom Kingdom. Pi-ka!


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  • Parents Just Don't Understand

    They Should Launch a TheirSpace.com for Old People

    by Jeff Rubin March 11, 2008


    Do your parents not understand technology? None of them do, they're all morons! People that dumb shouldn't be allowed to breed. It's tragic, really.

    If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, embarrass them and send it to parentsjustdontunderstand (at) gmail.com.

    • Your parents' Snoop Dog.
      My mom finally got a cell phone with a camera. She asked me if she had to buy special film.
      -Mike from Kean

    • A friend of mine found a cell phone. She called the owner of the phone's parents to see if they could get the phone back to their daughter. Five minutes after she got off the phone, a text message came through from the girls dad saying "Lizzy, some girl found your phone...call her at ***-***-**** to get your phone back"
      -Kyle from LSU

    • I work in tech support, and an old lady called asking for help with her computer. It just wouldn't turn on. Eventually we figured out that she had a lot of cats and had saran wrapped her tower so no cat hair would get in. The motherboard melted.
      -Dave L.

    • When using AIM my parents use correct grammar and punctuation.
      -Bank from UW-Oshkosh
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  • CH Videogames Weekly

    My guest this week is Old Rich People's Steve Menegozzi. You may know Old Rich People from their sketch Halo 3 Sound Effects.

    TALKING POINT: A videogame based on the ABC's Lost just came out. There will soon be games for everything from serial killer drama Dexter to crab fishing reality show Deadliest Catch. What's next?

    Steve: I'd love to see a To Catch A Predator videogame adaption. There could be a lecturing level with Mass Effect-ish dialog trees.

    A Lost video game should probably just be all about Locke.
    Jeff: Now that EA's tied up the NFL license until 202X, maybe we could get a Friday Night Lights game. I'm picturing a platformer in a fantasy world with robots, starring Smash.

    Steve: I just don't know why this trend couldn't have started 10 years ago. We'll be forever poorer without a Sliders game.

    Jeff: They tried to make an Entourage game, but it was too easy. You could never lose.

    Steve: The Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader game is basically a rebranded Math Blasters.

    Jeff: There's no mystery why they keep making these. Despite a 57/100 average on metacritic, the Lost game will almost certainly sell more copies than something new and unfamiliar. The question, then, is why do people continue to buy them?

    Steve: Maybe there should be a law that grandparents are no longer allowed to buy videogames. Are there any good TV show games?

    Jeff: The Simpsons has a long and proud tradition of mediocre games. I think the last one I really enjoyed was Ducktales. Actually wait - Ducktales 2.

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  • Parents Just Don't Understand

    Never Trust Anyone Over the Age of 14

    by Jeff Rubin March 04, 2008


    Do your parents not understand technology? None of them do, they're all morons! People that dumb shouldn't be allowed to breed. It's tragic, really.

    If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, embarrass them and send it to parentsjustdontunderstand (at) gmail.com.

    • My grandma kept complaing about how she couldn't get her new alarm clock to stop displaying 12:00. I went up to her room and took the sticker off of the display screen.
      -Brett from Ohio State

    • A friends grandmother recently asked him, "Will I be able to receive my Gmail through the internet?"
      -Michael from University of Texas-Arlington

    • We decided to get my dad a new laptop, and his first words upon opening it up were, "Thank God! All the keys are in the same place. I thought I was going to have to learn a whole new setup."
      -Dan from Framingham State.

    • This is the notepad my grandfather keeps next to his computer:


      - Darius

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    • Jeff Rubin Penn State

    About Me

    Jeff's likes - captioning CollegeHumor pictures, Parker Brother's Sorry! (preferably played with teams), pajama pants, Entenmann's Chocolate Chip Original Recipe Cookies, Arrested Development, when it suddenly starts to rain heavily on a Spring day.

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