Dear Journal,

This week iTunes gave me my very own celebrity playlist which is very exciting because it gave me the opportunity to impress my girlfriend. Now don't get me wrong, Journal, I know my girlfriend loves me for the right reasons but every once in a while when we're watching "Bret Michael's Rock of Love" I see this subtle look in her eye that if she had the chance to run off with the wig-wearing former lead singer of Poison, she might just take that offer. Now I don't mean any disrespect to the man who wrote the lyrics "Every Rose Has Its Thorn...Yea it does" but I feel a little threatened by him, so in subtle ways I try to impress my girlfriend, but it always seems to backfire.

Dear Journal,

I just returned from Los Angeles where I shot a TV pilot for CBS.

What's a TV pilot?

Well, no one's really sure, but my best explanation is that it's a sample episode of what a TV series would be. It's like the first batch of pancakes where you decide, "These are going to be some good pancakes," or, "Let's not make pancakes."

I brought my brother Joe, of course, because he loves pancakes and tends to come along for almost anything. I also brought my girlfriend and another friend who's also a personal trainer and nutritionist to help me cut down on how "pudgy and awkward" I am. It turns out eating spinach salads for every meal helps cure pudginess-but not awkwardness. As Popeye once said, "I yam what I yam!"