Happy Friday!  So how are everybody’s finals going?  Wow, that sounds rough.  Two tests tomorrow and you haven’t even started studying?  Jesus, you are screwed.  Well read up on this week’s gossip and here’s another test you won’t pass: an STD test.  HELL YEAH, BRO!  *high five*

The big story this week is Nicole Richie’s DUI arrest.  Apparently Nicole was stoned and on Vicodin driving the WRONG WAY down a major highway.  Otherwise known as “the most complex way to commit suicide ever.”
(Source: Egotastic)

Talking to People magazine this week, Lindsay Lohan said that she’s been attending Alcoholic Anonymous meeting for a year now.  She then proudly announced that she ‘hadn’t had a drink in seven days.’  Because those other 358 days were totally do-overs. 
(Source: Hollywood Tuna)

	Wow, this actually feels nice. I could see this maybe going somewhere. But more importantly, if I’m really quiet I think I can stick it in again while she’s still sleeping.
	God dammit. I KNEW I shouldn’t have ignored the fact that she had more armpit hair than me. Or that half-formed ballsac.
	Ohhh crap. Oh crap oh crap oh crap. I can’t believe I used the ‘let’s be more than just friends’ line to get laid. Or the ‘you understand me better than anyone else’ line. Or the ‘I want you to be my girlfriend after this’ line.

Happy Friday, everybody!  Guess what I just did?  Yup, that’s right, downloaded and watched the entire Screech Sex Tape, which was released on the internet this week.  53 straight minutes of awkward mid-sex jokes and Dustin Diamond referring to his penis as ‘the monster.’  Verdict?  I was NOT impressed by the sex.  However, I WAS impressed that the girl managed not to bust out laughing every time the self-titled ‘D Man’ told her to ‘take out the beast.’  I give it two and a half stars. 
(Source: WWTDD)

Nothing too exciting went down in Hollywood this week, but here are a few fun tidbits to slip into your conversations this weekend.

Welcome to Friday, everybody! I know you missed your gossip recap last week, but it was Thanksgiving and we can't all just pretend holidays don't exist (you hear that, Canucks?). Here is some stuff that might get you an OTPHJ this weekend.

Biggest story this week is, obviously, Britney Spears' vag. But did you know that there's also a video of her masturbating on YouTube? HAHA you totally just clicked that link, didn't you? Sorry, I was just kidding, although I honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point.
(Source: WWTDD, Hollywood Tuna)