Jake Hurwitz's Articles

4 total in November 2007

  • The Weekly WYR

    The Weekly WYR

    It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

    Would You Rather...

    • Have Tourette's Syndrome and let out loud curse words, or let out Chewbacca howls? From Roger
    • Be addicted to crack, or masturbation? From Johnny
    • Be Indiana Jones' sidekick, Shortround, or Chunk from the Goonies? From Mitch and Marc
    • Be incredibly, ridiculously good looking, or be incredibly, ridiculously intelligent? From Ace
    • Yell "Schwing!!!" every time you get a boner, or yell honk every time you grab a woman's breast? From markie
    • Be a really angry drunk every time you drink, and have to face the consequences of your drunken rampages, or be surrounded by ten far bigger and stronger angry drunks every time you drink? From ted
    • Have Tivo that made fart noises, or Have your farts sound like the Tivo noise? From Sammy
    • Have sex with a beautiful woman 10 separate times, or have sex with 10 beautiful women all at once- one time only? From Cole

    Finally, this week's winner of the Wow, That Was Easy Award Award is Brett, who sent in this.

    • Have sex with Angelina Jolie or have sex with Karl Malone? From Brett

    Congrats, Brett, you have stumped no one.

    If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

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    Like it? You Like it! (16) Comments (69)

  • The Weekly WYR

    The Weekly WYR

    It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

    Would You Rather...

    • Live in Canada, or be dead? From Mike
    • Live in a world where Hitler never gained power, or live in a world where Norbit was never made? From Spencer
    • Have a Moonraker Laser in the stacks with body armor, or have a Golden Gun without body armor in the Complex? From Brant
    • Be the inventor of the beer bong, or the inventor of the bong? From Capt Morgan
    • Digg it, or Like it? From Capt Morgan
    • Skate, or Die? From Anthony
    • Have your dick shrink 1/8 of an inch every year for the rest of your life , or have your dick grow an inch for the rest of your life? From brian
    • Find out that your sister is on your favorite porn site, or find out that your sister is on your least favorite porn site? From Leopold
    • Bang Jessica Alba once, or be able to summon a death squad of Spartan Warriors at will? From P
    • Orgasm when you fart, or Fart when you orgasm? From Justin
    • Fall in love with a girl who had warts all over her feet, or pimples all over her ass? From Brandon

    Finally, this week's winner of the Really, Really Bitter Award is Ryan, who sent in this.

    • Fall for the coolest girl ever or find out that f*ckin skank is cheatin on you with the douchebag from the third floor? From Ryan

    Congratulations Ryan, you have brightened the day for everyone out there but yourself.

    If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

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    Like it? You Like it! (22) Comments (93)

  • The Weekly WYR

    The Weekly WYR

    It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

    Would You Rather...

    • Eat nothing but candy corn for the rest of your life, or have Patrick Duffy always following you? From Avery
    • Have gay sex once, or always fantasize about gay sex while having straight sex? From Marc
    • Have savant like math skills, or have a photographic memory? From Andrew
    • Have Roger Klotz read your journal, or miss the Beets concert for the second time? From Steve
    • Have perfect abs after one sit up, or be perfect at guitar after one lesson? From Matt
    • Have hangovers that feel like an orgasm, or have orgasms that feel like hangovers? From Derek
    • Be able to see every girl you ever had sex with naked whenever you wanted, or be able to have sex with just one of them again? From John
    • Piss drinkable Pepsi, or Poop edible Doritos? From Bill
    • Have Optimus Prime as a dad, or Jessica Biel as a Girlfriend? From Christopher
    • Get a CREED tattoo on your forehead, or a swastika? From Dan
    • Be Jenna Jameson's father, or Jenna Jameson's son? From Ryan
    • Satisfy your girl every time but yourself only half the time, or satisfy your girl only half the time but yourself every time? From Matt
    • Be in a band you hate, or never be able to listen to your favorite type of music? From Aaron
    • Have a real working light saber, or find a cure for Cancer? From Frank

    Finally, this week's winner of the Hey, man... Shut up Award is Matt, who sent in this.

    • Write for CollegeHumor.com or be funny? From Matt

    Thanks for ruining my day, bro.

    If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

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    Like it? You Like it! (32) Comments (77)

  • The Weekly WYR

    The Weekly WYR

    It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

    Would You Rather...

    • Be addicted to meth, or be addicted to dragon porn? From Terry
    • Superman that ho, or make it rain on them hoes? From Chris
    • Have no knees, or no elbows? From Box
    • Be in Apatow's SuperBad gang, or the Frat Pack? From James
    • Always have to answer the phone by saying, "I am feelin' you!", or have to end every phone conversation by shouting, "Boom goes the dynamite!" From Phil
    • Have your mom not love you , or have your dad not love you? From Justin
    • Always have the sneeze sensation and never sneeze, or always be bloated with gas but never fart? From Fribben
    • Have Toe-sized fingers, or Finger-sized toes? From Sean
    • Have your own theme music , or be able to summon a conga line behind you whenever you wanted? From Rupert
    • Be worshiped by a cult, or not be worshiped by a cult? From Capt
    • Take too many hits of Acid on Halloween, or Bliahgb aitebpxz carph? From Sean
    • Be an integral part of the Trinity High play, or be a 3rd string player on the 2008 NBA champions? From Jason

    Finally, this week's winner of the Nerd Award Award is Brandon, who sent in this.

    • Make the sound of the sword from halo every time you come or make the sound of the hammer from halo every time you come? From Brandon

    Congrats, Brandon. You did it. You f*cking Casanova.

    If you have a good WYR, submit it below. Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

    • First Name:
    • Last Name:
    • Would You Rather...

      or
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    Like it? You Like it! (18) Comments (83)
    • Jake Hurwitz Hunter College

    About Me

    Jake Hurwitz felt really bad about deleting his old bio. He was feeling pretty nostalgic because his mom helped him write it. I love you Mom!

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