1. Kim Kardashian on vacation: now with 90% more skin than the regular version! [WWTDD]

2. This year American Idol has a stripper in its midst! And no, it's not Ryan Seacrest. Sorry grandmas! [IDLYITW]

3. Angelina looks hotter pregnant. Boobs do a body good. [WWTDD]

New mom Christina Aguilera was spotted out on the town this week for the first time since her son was born. The reason? Her boobs needed to vote - one picked Clinton and one Obama. Can you guess which? [HollywoodTuna]

Amy Winehouse was denied a visa to come to the US for the Grammys - because America's got enough crackheads to worry about without shipping in a couple of British imports. You know who I'm talkin' about... [CelebSlam]

BRITNEY(!!!) bailed on the treatment she was receiving in the UCLA pysch ward to follow her passion - wailing in a British accent while driving around at 100 MPH in her $55,000 Mercedes. Oh, and also - flashing her equally as insane poontang. [WWTDD]

If you were rich and crazy and had been all over the world, where else is there left for you to go? The mental ward of Cedars-Sinai Hospital!

You know the story, right? Britney Spears freaked and holed herself up in the bathroom with her kid when K-Fed's bodyguard came to pick them up at the end of her visit. She stayed there for hours until the cops knocked the door down and hauled her ass off to the hospital. [WWTDD]

Hey is Christmas over yet? It's not 2008? Crap. Time to go down a bunch of Jim Beam and head back to bed. Oh, but before I go, here's a few gossip goodies for you. Let's start with a nice, hot, piping cup of COCO!

Okay guys, I'm hauling A to rehab for a week, so I've got to lay on the gossip and get the eff out of here. I will start you off with some hotness, because you know this shizz is gonna get ugly.

Here we are, another week, another 'Ellen's rescued dog gets stolen by the rescue agency from whence it came' story. Does it ever end?

Answer: No.
If you enjoy watching Ellen Degeneres weep, then you will love this clip. She's crying over a dog. Imagine what it's like when she cries over a pussy.
You knew that was coming. [WWTDD]

Maybe Ellen was really just crying when she saw what our favorite alien ho Jenna Jameson looks like these days. If you were searching for the right word, it's death. Bitch looks like the walking dead. [Egotastic]

Celebrities are ugly, ya'll. For realstown.

Case and point? This monster:

I know Amy Winehouse has been going through some rough times - crack, coke, blah blah blah - but for serious. If Britney can brush her extensions, she should be able to get it together. Right? [CelebSlam]

Hayden Panettiere has stopped being cute and turned into crazy. Not only did she threaten to "kill" some tabloid reporter but she's rumored to be tapping her Heroes costar's ass. He's thirty. Check out the video of the two of them cuddling and dancing like old people at an Emmys party. Zexy! [IDLYITW]

Hello friends - school has started and so has the gossip. You're probably busy getting laid right now, but just in case you need a little extra help, here's what I got for ya.

You know that chick in High School Musical that you kind of thought was hot? Well she's naked on the internet right now! She's also drinking away her sorrows - nothing like a nude photo to get your addiction started just right. [WWTDD]

I'm pretty sure that I love Ice-T's wife CoCo more than my mother, my grandmother and myself - combined. Here's why (after the jump).

Hey there. Can I interrupt your hot tub makeout session with Britney Spears to give you the gossip? I'll be quick, I promise.