The Style Guys are back and this time they’re talking about your family. Christmas is one of only two times during the year when you’re forced to deal this band of losers, and that’s putting it nicely. Check out what America’s harshest critics, The Style Guys, think of your lame relatives.
Streeter: Your mom is so nice. I can tell by all the smile lines jutting out from the corners of her eyes like so many highways bisecting a landscape of leathery soil. When she’s not complaining about hot flashes, she’s keeping herself busy by dulling the pain of her wasted life with discreetly consumed snifters of booze. She stinks of bourbon and her sallow eyes reveal a lifetime of resentment, frustration and depression. Like a supreme court judge she hands down opinions on everyone from your dad’s side of the family while ignoring the fact that her own brother is doing 5-10 for aggravated assault. To be fair though, sometimes a tire iron to the skull is the only way to resolve a problem. 
Amir: How the hell did you spend more than five minutes inside of this bitch? Honestly. I don’t think I can handle an hour listening to this mouthy broad run her yapper about coupons and her “television stories.” You mean to tell me you spent a full nine months hearing her muffled dumb-ass ignorant pseudo-English? I don’t care if it was through twenty layers of uterus and 40 pounds of fat, even her muffled voice is enough to drive grown men to tears-- I can’t imagine what it did to pre-born infants. No wonder she had three miscarriages before you were born. Those babies were probably killing themselves because they couldn’t take it anymore. Though I can’t blame them, I’d also prefer drowning in a toilet bowl to putting up with the constant cacophony that is her horribly discordant and painful voice. Dumb bitch.
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