Jake Klocksien's Articles

1 total in May 2008
  • [JUDD APATOW AWAKES IN BED, TREMBLING. HE ROLLS OVER TO TAKE COMFORT IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS PARTNER.]

    Judd Apatow: I had that dream again...

    Adam McKay: The one where you're reliving Todd Philips' career, post-Old School??

    Apatow: Yeah.

    McKay: It's okay, sweetums.

    [THEY BEGIN TO SPOON.]

    Apatow: Adam.... what if one day I make a Starsky & Hutch??

    McKay: Jesus, Judd. You've made movies like Anchorman, Knocked Up, Superbad, and Talladega Nights. You are literally balls deep in street cred.

    Apatow: But what about Drillbit Taylor?!? I need to make another classic now! Right now! Where's Rogen?!?

    Seth Rogen: Right here, chief.

    Apatow: Seth, why are you sleeping on my floor??

    Rogen: I was out buying some new retro, classic rock t-shirts and got tired. Since I still had your spare key, I figured the Judd Apatow wouldn't mind if his leading man crashed at his pad.

    Apatow: Whatever, let's brainstorm. I was thinking something along the lines of a stoner comedy with a thinly veiled life lesson.

    Rogen: How about like "get a stranger pregnant and then learn to like her because she's hotter than you" or something??

    Apatow: We did that one. You were there.

    Rogen: Oh. Right. Well come on people, we need a plot here.

    Apatow: Wait, a what??

    Paul Rudd: A plot, my good sir, is a summary of...

    McKay: Paul? Where the- ugh, nevermind.

    Rogen: We need our movie to tell some sort of story throughout the film. It's called a plot.

    Apatow: Listen, I've been making movies for over 15 years and I've never heard of that word.

    McKay: Maybe Will could help us out. I'll send him our ideas so far.

    Apatow: Okay, so what do you guys suggest for this "plot" idea?

    [SUDDENLY, THE WALLS START TO TREMBLE AND DISHES FALL FROM SHELVES. THE DOORBELL RINGS. THE GROUP ANSWERS THE DOOR TO FIND ANOTHER CAST MEMBER.]

    Jonah Hill: I'll do a cameo, man!

    Apatow: Good God, Jonah. Have you just been continuously eating since we wrapped Superbad???

    Hill: Yeah, man.

    [MINUTES AFTER ASKING WILL FERRELL FOR A GENEROUSLY PAID CAMEO APPEARANCE, ADAM MCKAY RECEIVES A TEXT MESSAGE THAT SIMPLY READS, "LOL NO."]

    McKay: Will says he'll think about it.


Jake Klocksien Winona State

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I used to be an intern here, now I'm just a human.

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