CollegeHumor: User 313's Articles http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776753 Send your cat's shit back in time Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:13:40 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776753 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>


Only $349.99. Thanks, Sky Mall!
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776753">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1770314 Shephard Fairey's first draft of the Obama poster Thu, 05 Feb 2009 18:21:26 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1770314 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1770314">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764608 Fox News Fail Fri, 07 Nov 2008 13:19:41 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764608 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

I was in an airport bar the other night in Minneapolis when I looked up from my beer and caught this hilarious misspelling in a lower third on Hannity & Colmes. I looked back a minute or two later it was still there - that earned it the cell cam treatment. This kind of epitomizes Joe Wurzelbacher's whole run in the media up to this point.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764608">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763128 DOOBIEOUS: German "artist" to smoke Kurt Cobain's stolen ashes in joint Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:14:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763128 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

As reported here on CollegeHumor by the lovely Sarah Schneider, Kurt Cobain's ashes were stolen earlier this summer. Ms. Schneider went on to say, in a great homage to Norm MacDonald, "In other news, someone out there is officially crazier than Courtney Love."

It turns out we now know who that peson is -- German "artist" Natascha Stellmach who "claims to have acquired the Nirvana frontman's cremated remains and will smoke them in a joint as part of her exhibition."

I can see her now... after sparking up and taking her first hit, she turns to her tightly-clothed kraut art cronies and smiles, full of herself, blowing out a thin stream of Cobain while saying: "smells like teen spirit".

If this bitch had any integrity, she would at least shoot them up. Natascha Stellmach can eat a bag.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-10-07 17:14:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 5 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761014 BOGUS ALERT: McDonald's fuels the World's Olympians Sat, 23 Aug 2008 01:11:11 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761014 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Seriously, McDonald's... seriously. I'm supposed to believe that Olympic Athletes eat your southern style chicken biscuit sandwich for breakfast; a food item that happens to contain 20g of total fat and 1180 mg of sodium. Really?! I don't know about you, but I generally avoid dousing my morning cereal with half my daily recommended salt intake. Chicken for breakfast... COME ON. You should be ashamed of yourself.


Speaking of your commercials... you expect me to swallow this? Brazilian psychedelic music is a little out of your wheelhouse. It doesn't work. I think I liked you better back when you were shamelessly pandering to minorities. At least one of the Portuguese words in this song sounds exactly like "salmonella" (0:52). And you hear it right when a little kid takes a bite of food! Mmmmm... dangerous.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-23 01:11:11 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 5 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1693589 The Ten Greatest Drunks Sat, 17 Jun 2006 00:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1693589 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>




10 - Babe Ruth
While Barry Bonds had to inject cow hormones into his ass in order to play better baseball, George Herman Ruth just got drunk. Beer and hookers were all the steroids the Babe needed to leave every other baseball player in his big, fat wake. After winning a drinking contest and bedding four women at once, the Babe would stagger to the field on-time, play a double-header, and smack a game-winner out of the park while eating a hot-dog. Obviously, that's what makes him one of the greatest drunks of all time. Favorite drink: Keg of Falstaff.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1634721 Airing Your Dirty Laundry Sat, 26 Nov 2005 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1634721 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Keep Reading ]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1628189 Dude, I Was Sooooooooo Wasted Last Night Mon, 07 Nov 2005 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1628189 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/b/collegehumor.48e1ea469265a98788cb6b5be9af4e26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:313">Ben Worcester</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />