Year: 1999
Two T.V. executives walk into a dorm where 2 friends are hanging out in the common room, smoking and playing video games

T.V. Exec 1- What's up guys?
Friend 1- Who are you?
T.V. Exec 2- We just came to hang out for a little.
Friend 2- (to T.V. Executive 1) Are you a cop?
TV1- No. We just want to hang out and talk.
F2- I think he's a cop.
F1- If you are a cop you have to tell us. I don't know why but that's what they always say on Law and Order.
F2: STABLERRRR!
 
Friends high five

TV2- He's not a cop.
TV1- We'd just like to sit here and observe you for a little if that's okay with you. Act like we're not even here.
F1- First tell us if you're a cop. Be honest.

Moose: Dude you wouldn’t believe the weekend I just woke up from. It was absolutely legitimate.

Gary: Yeah what went on? I didn’t really see you after your knees bucked trying to carry that keg in on your shoulder
Moose: Hahah, shut up dude you know that kegger DEFINITELY wasn’t light beer. You know what I mean.

Moose gives Chad a ball slap

Chad: Yeah, yeah. So let’s hear about another "Amazing Moose Adventure."
Moose: Alright, here it is. I was at this drag themed party at my buddy’s crib when out of nowhere this banging ass chick rolls up to me and starts macking it. Now this was like 10 o’clock so I was already probably half a keg in but from what my buddies were telling me this feminita was ripe.

Students of the Devry Institute of Technology Class of 2007, many men in the blue-collar, working class industry have sat in the very seats you sit in today. You use your hands rather than your minds and few people in this world will give you the recognition and credit you truly deserve.

You will go out into the world, and a harsh world it is, after your 2 years of basic elementary technical skills and be thrown into a life of misery and disdain. You shall be spat on, countless times by “white-collars” who consider themselves to be of higher importance and value, simply because they possess a greater level of intellect and an actual degree from an accredited, prestigious, and recognized 4-year University. You will be looked down upon in a condescending manner, even ostracized from elitist social circles and events.

Earlier this month we asked you to submit questions you had about College Humor. Well the results are in. We picked the top 3 and answered them to the best of our ability.

Ace asks a 2-part question: Whose idea was it to make the CH logo a jester?  Also, why is everything on CH funnier when I'm completely smashed?

Answer: Sorry Ace, one question submission per person, otherwise it's not fair. We have to disqualify you and delete your CH account. Sorry again dude.

But for all of you who can still see this, I'll answer the first question.  It was a collaborative effort between the founders and a guy who was designing t-shirts for them when they were sophomores in college.

Last month I posted a Frat Chat "Overheard" where I asked you the viewer to submit things you've overheard people saying that were particularly brotastic.  I got a lot of responses and thought I'd share the top 4.  Remember, one of these if fake, can you guess which?

A: Hey, Dude! Tell 'em about that new beer you invented.
B: Oh, ya it's called Bang. It's beer mixed with Tang.
- Wichita State University -

"So for my resume I was like, dude, think about it, how much time did I spend in the weight room? Remember how much time we were there? It was like 40 hours a f*ckin' week! It was like a full time job."
- Iowa State University - 

Brother 1: Dude, did you ever call that Michelle chick?
Brother 2: Once.
Brother 1. Did you f*ck her?
Brother 2: Twice.
- University of Pennsylvania -

There was so much poon at the grad party this weekend with everyone graduating. That alumni dude's girlfriend was blazin' too. Prolly could've tapped it if I wanted, but he was a brother.
- Worcester State -

"You remember Ashley, right? Yeah, the one who wouldn't let me f*ck.  Well last night I f*cked her roommate. I mean, I know Ashley is hotter, way hotter, but you gotta stick your dick in somethin'."
- Louisiana State University -

And don't forget to send in your contributions to FratChat’s “Overheard”, e-mail the conversation and school to FratChat @ GMail.com

A fan sent me this picture the other day and I thought we could have some fun with it. Let's try "Possible thought processes of each frat guy in their respective poses..."

From back left to right, then guy in front

1. This is exactly what I imagined college to be like...all dudes, half naked in a dimly lit basement.
   
2. How far down does this thong have to be so people can tell I Nair the pubies?
   
3. Been working out at the gym 24/7. Went misting the other day too. Can you tell? Plus, I just ordered a shield and spear on Ebay.  Oh man, I'm such a Spartan.
   
4. Hahah, I'm not even looking at the camera!!! This is CRAZY!  I'll take off my clothes dude, but the skull cap and cowrie shell necklace stay...it's the source of my power!
   
5. Nows as good time as any to flex. Facebook this. IMMEDIATELY!
6. I was the kid in middle school who didn't take his shirt off at pool parties.

Let's see what you guys can come up with in the comments!

His professor sent him an e-mail the following day:

Alright, let’s bang this one out.  It’s 6 P.M. right now and my exam is at noon tomorrow.  I’ve got loads of time.  Okay, haven’t read any of the chapters.  Not a big deal.  16 chapters, definitely doable.  Chapter 1, page 1, let’s get a move on it.  I’ve got my can of Red Bull, some Chinese food, and my good ol’ sweats.  We’re good to go.

It’s pretty simple if you think about it logically.  All I need to do is study the information in this book so I’ll have the material inside my head, then I use what I’ve learned and apply it on the test to get a good grade.

Okay, Chapter 2 here I come! 300 pages in 15 hours, doable.  20 pages an hour, that’s nothing.  I read the last Harry Potter book in, like, one sitting and that was 500 pages.  This should be a walk in the park.

I’m not stressing out, I’m just getting a little aggravated, that’s all. 

Where’s my roommate?!?  He’s in my class, why isn’t he here studying with me? If he’s not back in the next ten minutes to help me study I’m stealing something from him, swear to God.  I’ve always wanted that green t-shirt he has. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he can pull it off, but I’d definitely rock it harder.

Hey CollegeHumor fans! Unfortunately our good friend Jake is no longer with us. No, he's not dead, he just got a promotion, which means a bigger desk and the company car (‘94 Jetta, baby!).

Anyway, CollegeHumor is bringing in a whole new shipment of slave interns to chain to desks and abuse, of which I'm the first. The perks are endless.  You know that red "Staff" by peoples' names in the comments field? Got that like 20 minutes ago! Plus free water whenever we want!

Best of all, between ritualistic beatings they allowed me time to answer your questions about, well, anything. If you've ever wondered what Amir eats for lunch (tuna sandwich), where Streeter lives (142 E72 Street), what's Jeff's MySpace name (GeoffRoooobin) or how many times Dan went to the bathroom today (12) feel free to ask. General questions are okay too, like what does Sarah Schneider do in her free time, or describe the way she smiles, the way she walks, NO, the way she gracefully glides through the office, or how on some days, how she just comes into work wearing a comfortable broken-in hoodie and can still be the most beautiful, intelligent and caring girl in the world.

So any questions or comments you have about the guys or what goes on here send to AskanIntern @ Gmail.com!