I know this is what you've been waiting all weekend for. Check out the top 5 Roommate Confessions this week and don't forget to send yours to RoommateConfessions@ Gmail.com

I am not a Satan worshiper as I led you to believe with my blacklight rituals and assorted leftover meat parts. That was just to get your Born-Again ass out of the room as soon as possible.
Anonymous, George Washington University

I accidentally broke your monitor, but never told you it was me, because I didn't want to have to pay for it.
Greg, School Not Given

Freshman year my roommate had sex with his girlfriend in my bed the second day we were there. He happened to be allergic to drier sheets, so I wiped them all over his bed, so over the next few days he broke out in hives and missed his classes.
John, Purdue

It's been awhile since the last roommate confessional, but this weeks is crammed with 5 of my favorite. If you've got any good ones send them to RoommateConfessions@Gmail.com

I once got you to chug a whole cup of piss at a party. You thought it was beer, but was actually 3/4 of a solo cup of piss chilled and the rest filled with beer and foam to give it a little color and look like beer. Oh and we also video taped it and showed the rest of the hall.
Eric, Univerisity of Michigan

Half the time, my headphones aren't even connected to anything. And, FYI, if you ASK if I'm listening to music, and I answer, I'm probably lying.
Cody, Murray State

I came back from class one day freshman year and heard sex sounds in the room. I thought it was the room next door, but it was coming from mine. I eventually went to my roommate's computer, moved the mouse to make the screen turn on and saw he left gay porn on. When he came back from class, all I said was "Hey, you left porn on your computer. Don't worry I turned it off". He moved out next semester.
Andy, Don't say my school

Last month we published the first of 3 Extreme Gym Brochures - The Goliath vs. Zeus Program. Meet "Raw" and "The Industrial Revolution."
(Co-written by Amir)

Level 1: Bottle Opener
You need to open that brew? I got you, dude. Just so happen to carry an opener on my key chain. See that big key right next to it? ’92 Honda Civic. Modded. Me and my boy Trevor riced it out to look like the new 3 Series. Trev’s step-dad runs an auto body shop.

Level 2: Lighter
Check this out. I’ll open your bottle with this lighter. Ever see this before? It’s pretty sick. I just angle it up like so… get the leverage working in my favor and pop goes the weasel. Drink it. I'm also indirectly telling you that I smoke. Marlboro Reds. Those long and slims will kill you twice as fast. Pretty chill, huh?