Jeff Rosenberg's Articles

7 total in January 2008

  • Cute College Girl

    Jessica Ricordi

    by Jeff Rosenberg January 30, 2008



    Think you have the goods? The magic? The will power?
    I doubt it.

    Prove me wrong and Apply here!
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  • CollegeHumor Classic

    Chatroom Wingman

    by Jeff Rosenberg January 28, 2008



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  • Roommate Confessions

    Issue 10

    by Jeff Rosenberg January 28, 2008


    It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com

    My sophomore year after being screwed by housing, I was forced to live with a stranger who was a crazy racist. He went on a drunken slur-spitting rampage after skipping out on his anti-psychotic drugs and drinking heavily. When I confronted him about his comments, he chased me around our room and stabbed me with his nail clipper. I called the cops, who chased him into the woods with police dogs and arrested him, and he was kicked out of school 3 weeks before he was supposed to graduate. Because of the state mandated restraining order, and my refusal to cooperate, he was not allowed to come to our room and get his tv, printer, microwave, or mini fridge. I never got a new roommate, but I still have a sick tv and dorm room appliances!
    Ryan, University of Connecticut
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  • Cute College Girl

    Angela Flatland

    by Jeff Rosenberg January 23, 2008



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  • Ninety-One Upper

    Imagine a world where the elderly one-upped each other.

    Normal: I walked around the block for my morning cardio exercise.
    One-upper: You think that's cool, I just joined a gym that I go to every Wednesday to walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes. Sometimes if I'm feeling extra limber I'll break out the 2.5 pound dumbbells.

    Normal: I took a very relaxing bath last night.
    One-Upper: Big Deal! I took a shower. Standing up! That means without sitting on my stool or holding the safety bar.

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  • Cute College Girl: Jennifer Gallo



    You think you got what it takes? Apply here!


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  • Roommate Confessions

    Rooommate Confessions is back and better than ever! It's been a solid month since the last one so we've got a lot of goodies stored up. Check them out and don't forget to send yours to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com

    My roommate used to go home every other weekend but his parents are so overprotective that they had to come pick him up and take him home (he lives 20 minutes away) and leave his car on campus. One time he left me his keys, so we took some glamour shots of his 2006 Toyota Camry and put them up on Craigslist, asking much lower than the car is actually worth and put his phone number. He recieved over 50 calls that weekend and only we could take the ad down. Obviously we didnt no matter how hard he begged.
    Matt, Chapman University
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    • Jeff Rosenberg NYU

    About Me

    Jeffrey Mortecai Rosenberg hatched out of an enormous egg fully grown in 1998. Unfortunately, such little experience in life made high school a nightmare as he was constantly ridiculed with witty nicknames like “egg boy”, “boy who hatched outta an egg”, and “stupid rich jewish fuck”. After years of therapy and reconstructive surgery, Jeff was ready to enter the real world. He has made it his life’s goal to rid SNL of Kenan Thompson, replacing him with his much funnier, comical sidekick Kel. For reasons unbeknownst to others, Jeff enjoys eating chicken seed, rallying anti-chicken cruelty protests, and having sex with chickens. Jeff is also incapable of knowing when he’s taken a bad joke way too far.

    Email me at jeffrosenberg@collegehumor.com!!!

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