Each one of you is a filthy, filthy animal and now we have the stats to prove it! You filled out our hygiene survey the other week and the results are in. Guys are gross. So are some girls. Let the numbers speak for themselves.

• 7% of girls shower every 3 days or less.
• 75% of guys have masturbated there, too.
• 50% of girls pick their nose regularly.
• And 4% of you don't wash your hands after pooping.
• I can now safely say you all disgust me.
  

Check out the stats on the rest of the filthy shower facts, cleanliness and general hygiene for the first official Great American Filthiness Survey now! And for God's sake have some self respect, wash your hands after pooping.

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

After a semester and a half of 10 o'clock lights out, non-stop b*tching and moaning, and an appetite of food that was not his own, my suite knew he had it coming. Removing the bolts from his bed would be obvious, however, replacing them with pencils would be perfect. After a crash from his bed, and the worry of repairing it before room inspection the following day, we got him back... plus, he thinks the bolts he tightened the week before were never there. He believes the, now shattered, pencils were always holding the bed up.
Please keep this anonymous

My roommate had always been a huge mooch. He'd take my food without asking, if he came home too drunk, he wouldn't climb up to his top bunk, he'd just pass out in my bottom one, and he'd use my computer all the time without asking because his was too messed up from porn viruses. The final straw came when he stole my math book, which had a hard cover, returnable for $50 during book buyback time. Everyone on my hall told me he was bragging about how he got a "free" sack of weed because he stole it. Next semester, I transferred to a different school. When I got my computer set up at my new school, I found my old roommate had saved his username and password for the old school's website on my computer. I waited until the day before the class drop/add deadline and I unenrolled him from all his classes. My friends from the floor told me he wasn't able to take any classes that semester and he had to get a job at a gas station.
Eric, Colorado State

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

Note: The last one is pretty gross. I warned you.

My roommate this semester is a royal pain in the ass. To start, he always has his pregnant girlfriend over and I am constantly having to deal with her sh*t about how my room is messier than his side. Then, as if this wasn't bad enough, he has a loud-ass speaker system and is CONSTANTLY blasting his favorite band, Nickleback. About a week ago, I decided that I had had enough. I went online and found a website that sent out free abortion clinic information and got them mailed to his room, and his girlfriend's room.
Mike, School Not Given

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com

One of the girls I live with basically parties four nights a week at our house until late in the night. Even during finals week when all I want to do is sleep. Today I got diagnosed with mono and to try and give her a taste of her own medicine, I spit on all of her tooth brushes as soon as I got home. Now she'll have to appreciate sleep as much as I do.
Katherine, University of Michigan

Reading the roommate confession about the cat reminded me of something particularly bad I did to a neighbor in college. We lived in a duplex and the other side of the house was filled with hippies. I got used to going to sleep to the sound of Phish and the Grateful Dead but sh*t hit the fan when they brought home a homeless dog one day. This dog would sh*t and piss in our mutually shared lawn and they would never clean it up. The landlord and I both would complain about this dog destroying the lawn when he finally made a proposition to me. He would give me one free month of rent if I got rid of the dog. So I drove the dog out to farm country and dropped him off and drove away. After a few weeks of posting signs all over the neighborhood they quickly forgot about the dog and moved on. I collected my free rent and finally got to enjoy my yard again.
Josh, SCSU

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com

My roommate last year had two cats. Now, I don't mind cats but one of these ones was especially terrible. So early one morning after it woke me up crying in the hallway I grabbed it and ran through our apartment complex zig zagging and weaving for about a half block to disorient it and dropped it off behind some bushes. Never saw the bastard again.
Rob, University of Redlands