It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

I had a suitemate last year who thought it would be funny to sneak up on me, while I was sleeping, and shave off a lot of my hair. To get him back I didn't want to repeat the same gag so, being a chemistry major, I got a little bit of lye from the lab and put it in his new shampoo. WHO IS BALD AND HAS A RASH ON HIS HEAD NOW?!?!?!

Tyler W., OSU

Freshman year, there were six of us living in a 3 bedroom suite. One of the six was a 350 pound fat ass who thought that showering was a once every other week type thing, while staying up all night downloading kiddie and animal porn was normal. He was loud, dumb, obnoxious and he smelled terrible. One night when he wasn't there, a friend of mine from down the hall went into his room, removed the mattress on his bed and just started jumping on the wooden bed frame, until he went crashing through it and created a good sized hole, that was about 18 inches long and 10 inches wide. We threw the mattress on the bed and decided to let the fat ass deal with it. When he came home he laid down on his bed on his stomach and you could tell that he was sinking. We let this go for a couple of days until he asked me if it looked like he was sinking into his bed. When I said yes, he got up, lifted up his mattress and saw the giant hole. We told him that he came home one night drunk and he jumped on his bed and he must have broken it. He believed us, put the mattress back on and went back to downloading porn.
Rob, Pitt

A bunch of us were waiting at the office watercooler the other day because some chick from marketing was filling up her entire Nalgene bottle when it struck me! Why am I waiting for my cold, refreshing beverage when I could be guzzling it down at the same time as my friends? I ran back to my laptop and started searching for the answer. It didn't take long to find the Octabong.

It was so simple to use. We just attached the tubes to each of the 8 ends and poured the beverage of our choice into each one. Amir thought it'd be funny if we raced! Naturally I won because I can chug water fastest and everyone else was using Pepsi. Not that big of a deal really, some people are just naturally good at things, that's all. Well since that fateful afternoon I've been addicted to the Octabong so I've brought it everywhere I enjoy having a nice cold, refreshing drink.

Other occasions to use the octabong:

• Aunt Sally's 50th Birthday Bash
• Cousin's Little League Baseball Game
• Morning Carpool to Work
• After a marathon with 7 of your closest friends
• During a some sort of fraternal mixing event

...or any corporate office gathering!

Tired of waiting at the watercooler

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

Remember when you asked if I had told anybody that you were sleeping with a married black man who happened to work for your dad? I lied. The entire AGR house knows, along with several dozen others. Next time instead of kicking me out of the dorm, you should consider getting a hotel room where affairs usually take place. Let's hope daddy doesn't check the mail.
Kat, University of Arkansas

When you were moving out, I was mopping the disgusting floors because you never cleaned. When I emptied the water out of the sink, I used your silverware that you had left out in an open box to dig the clumps of cat hair and dirt and nastiness from the drain catch so I wouldn't have to touch it, then I put them back. Then I saw you eating pasta with them later that night.
Danielle, University of Arizona

Heckling, much like stand-up comedy, is an artform all on its own and it takes practice and perserverance to truly perfect it. Say the stand-up "comedian" starts off his set and he's killing. Absolutely slaughtering the crowd. Now your friends have always told you that you're a freaking riot. Especially when you're drunk... so let's get you really drunk.

Now that you're on the road to blacking out you've begun to realize that you're no longer afraid of making an ass of yourself in front of a crowd of complete strangers. You're already well on your way to making this a memorable show for all parties involved.

Here's what you do now. Sometimes comedians will tell long drawn out stories, pulling the audience in and really building up the tension to be released, then right before they tell the side-splitting punch line, during that very brief but intense silence, you yell "WHERE'S THE PUNCHLINE GUY?" and now you've single-handedly ruined the fun and relaxing atmosphere of a comedy show.

My friend Steve Dawson sent me this screenshot of his Facebook friend requests the other day and I thought I'd share it with you guys. The dude on the top is his dad, the second woman is his mom, the third is his 3rd grade teacher, the fourth is an old friend and I'm guessing you can figure out the last one on your own.

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

Freshman year, that creepy guy at the crosswalk gave us both a miniature bible. You threw yours away and somebody made a joke about you going to hell for throwing away a Bible. When you weren't looking I took the bible out of the garbage and hid it in your sock drawer. Then when you asked me two weeks later whether or not you had thrown it away, I just said "I thought so." Then I took it out of the garbage again and hid it in your closet drawer. When you found it and freaked out, I played it cool. I knew you were suspicious of me, so I looked for it for a few days before I found it in your porn stash(which was well hidden, by the way). Then I checked every day until the bible was gone (you must have thrown it away in the dumpster.) then I put my identical bible in your drawer. Then when you were really scared and told me what was going on, I was a total dick and said you should probably tell your priest. I'm really sorry, I didnt think you'd actually tell your priest that you hid a bible with a bunch of porn.
Andy, USD

We have a super annoying roommate. Basically everything she does makes us want to slap her. She goes home to visit her mommy every weekend so we throw parties when she's out of town and let anyone who wants to have sex on her bed. It usually happens a few times every weekend. What's worse is we've never seen her wash her sheets.
Kendall, UIC

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

My roommate freshman year was a real slob and would wear every piece of clothing he had and than leave it on the floor. Also he would leave food wrappers around and sunflower seeds shells that he spit out and missed the trash would not be cleaned up by him. The only time he would clean is when he took a heavy dose of his ADD medication. He would make the place spotless in an afternoon, so it got to the point where I would grind a little bit up into his food or drink as a way of getting him to clean on the days I couldn't stand the mess anymore.
Tom, Fairfield Univerity

I have two roommates this year. So, one of my roommates boasts about his brains excessively, and that he doesn't really deserve to be at such a "lowly school" like here, though my other roommate and I don't really see why, since he completely bombs every test he takes. But anyway, one day my roommate and I got fed up with it. In our writing class, there's three essays, the second one worth 35 percent of our grade. So the day the essay is due, there roommate A goes, bragging about how great his essay is, and he says he's going to turn it in one hour early because he's so confident in it. He then proceeds to print out his essay, and put it in his binder. He then goes to the shower. And this is where roommate B and I take action. We go on his computer, find his essay, and use the find and replace function to replace "because" with "cause I give blowjobs for crack." We print it out, replace the real essay with the sabatoged one, and wait for him to come back and leave. The next week, we get our essays back. I look at his returned copy, and in red ink, the instructor wrote "It is obvious you do not possess the effort needed to complete this course. Furthermore, your rudeness and blatant lack of respect for me will almost certainly result in an F in this course if you do not have a sincere apology and extremely compelling reason as to why I should not." Instead of trying to actually do something about it, he drops the course. He's now taking it again, with a different instructor. He wouldn't talk to us for weeks.
University of California, San Diego