Pete and Paul will soon be jetting off to Cali with Crab Colson to drum up some new business. SPACE BUSINESS. And though Don's the one orchestrating this little cross-country endeavor, he still tends to get all Chicken Little when rockets are the topic of conversation. Another thing he can't stomach is Paul's insufferable pomposity, which is why as soon as Kinsey speaks up, Don demands that Pete do all the talking out there. Pete says he'll try and wrangle an astronaut's autograph for Peggy's "nephews," and on a completely unrelated note, it's sweet when a father brings back a souvenir for his child.

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Me: Hey LOLcat, I'm home!
LOLcat: O HI I UPGRADED UR RAM
Me: LOLcat! What have I told you about messing with my computer? You know I have very important documents in there!
LOLcat: I KNOES CUZ I WATCHES U MASTURBATE TO DEM
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Me: LOLcat, did you tear up this roll of toilet paper?
LOLcat: I HAS AN ALIBI
Me: I'll be damned if I'm going to take legal talk from a kitten that can't speak grammatically.
LOLcat: I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?
Me: No, you can't--*sigh* stupid f*cking cat, now how am I supposed to clean up all this baby batter...

Moderator: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here in a makeshift hut near the radiation-soaked remains of Washington, D.C. for the final 2008 Presidential Debate. I am joined by Senator Obama and Senator McCain. Welcome. Opening statements, gentlemen?

McCain: My opponent, Senator Obama, is still supporting "hope." As is clear, there is no hope left. He is completely out of touch.

Obama: With all due respect, Senator, there is some untapped hope left. I found a stale grain of rice a few days ago, and it has kept my family nourished for days.

McCain: Senator Obama is an elitist. While he was feasting on a grain of rice, what were the rest of us eating? That's right: each other. I had to eat Karl Rove this morning, and he was alive throughout most of it. Yet Senator Obama has voted against cannibalism no less than three times!

Where We Last Left Our Heroes: FuturePeter decided to make a mess out of the past, Hiro and Ando lightheartedly chased after a speedster that would bring about Armageddon, Noah left Claire's negligent, deadbeat, fire-creatin' mom to babysit, Peter got stuck in a villain's brain, Nathan and Tracy Strauss slapped democracy in the face and got themselves a Senate seat, and Sylar found out he was a Petrelli. Nathan and Peter were sure lucky they didn't get THOSE eyebrow genes.

This Week On Heroes: Ahh, the soothing sound of Mohinder's bland, lifeless narration lulls us into another week. Remember how this season was called "Villains?" And how those Level 5 villains were supposed to be the baddest of the bad and so insanely powerful and evil that, if unleashed, they would pretty much destroy the world? Well...yeah, forget that. The Level Fivers decide to rob a bank, much to Peter/Jesse's dismay, but he goes along hoping to stop them. They rob the bank and hurt absolutely no one, except the guy who gains power from fear punches a hole in the Magneto-one (whose magnetic strength is roughly equal to a refridgerator magnet).

Still in trouble at home, Don's been staying at the Roosevelt, which is pretty nice as far as doghouses go. He steps outside to get the paper, and it's bad news: Marilyn Monroe is off to straddle that big sewer grate in the sky. Meanwhile, somewhere in England, a teenager named Elton John is crying through a sparkly pair of pink-tinted sunglasses while he writes a song about candles and wind.