Madden: Well what we have here is obviously a mismatch. On one side we have this young kid whose experience doesn’t extend past trying to hit bathroom ceiling tiles while his opponent has been dominating the game for years. He is going to have to play some good defense if he wants to keep her offense contained, or else we might be seeing a forfeit early in the first half.
Michaels: I see what you’re saying John, but I don’t think you are giving this kid enough credit. He has been on a steady training program practicing up to five times a day. He has been mentally and physically preparing himself for this day his entire life. As for his opponent, she has been relaxed on her training program and focusing solely on each game leaving a big hole where her tight defense use to dominate. If he can focus on finding that hole without a lot of contact he might be able to, who knows, score a few times.
Madden: Well, here’s what’s going to happen. The person who came to play today with the most stamina is going to outlast the other person because stamina is the measure of how long you can last.
Michaels: Great insight, John.
Madden: And here’s the kickoff. She sends the condom to him from out of her dresser drawer…and he fumbles it!
Michaels: He recovers it however and he has the wrapper open and the condom on quickly. He isn’t going to throw this game away that quickly.
Madden: Boom! Penetration, there is the first point of contact. Watch this replay of his face the first moment he realizes he is no longer a virgin. He’s been hit so hard he doesn’t know where he is at.
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