(Drunk me stumbles into an upstairs bedroom where sober me is waiting)
DM: Hey, you’re not Kasey.
SM: It’s Katie actually, but yea, I asked her to tell you to meet her upstairs because I couldn’t get you up here otherwise. Listen, we need to talk.
DM: Talk, man? There is a freakin sweet party downstairs. Don’t say anything but I think I am supposed to be meeting up with that Kelly chick later, she totally wants to (DM performs a couple hip thrusts) You KNOW!!! (DM goes for the high five but is left hanging; he looks incredibly hurt)
SM: No, Katie is not interested, it’s only me. Look man, every time you go out in public you end up doing a couple of things that make me look bad. It’s like everything positive I do you reciprocate with a negative.
DM: Whater you talkin ‘bout man?
SM: Like with Katie. We had a nice night going out to dinner and a movie last Wednesday but then on Friday you called her a bitch for taking your keys and almost ruined everything.
DM: Yea, but you apologized for that. Tell the bitch to chill yo, like, I was drunk.
SM: Exactly! I apologized. And don’t tell her to chill because you were drunk. You are always drunk!
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