1994

Mom: Steve, try on these Bugle Boy pants I bought you.

Me: OK.

Mom: The cuffs are stretchy so you don't tear them when you play.

Me: I pooped in them already.

1996

Me: Fellas, the Big Dog is in da house! See, it says so on my shirt.

Lucas: We all have Big Dogs on our shirts. Mine is dressed like Darth Vader, but it says Bark Vader, 'cause he's a dog.

Me: Lucas, no one cares about your gay Darth Vader shirt.

Lucas: What does gay mean?

Me: I don't know, Luc, probably has something to do with your mushroom cut.

Thanks to HHHMan for the excellent illustration.