CollegeHumor: Comments by DJNewStyle http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787620 Dating, It's Complicated: Issue #8 Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787620 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Dating someone? Well great! Send your craziest, funniest, most embarrassing dating related stories to me at dating.itscomplicated[at]gmail.com!

It was eighth grade and I had never been kissed and me and some friends were hanging out and all encouraging me to kiss my crush. So finally I told myself the next time someone tells me to kiss him I'll do it. Turns out my crush was the first one to mention it because he said "kiss me", so I went in and kissed him. As soon as our lips parted he said "No I said, "Casey", Casey was out friend sitting across from us.
-Sara, UCDavis

My now ex-gf canceled on a double date a 1/2 hour before we were supposed to go out. I had to call my friend as he was already on his way over to my house and tell him he was on his own for dinner now. Then she broke up with me that night saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. She called me the next day and asked me to buy her booze.
-BMB

I never appreciated the song centerfold until i stumbled across a picture of my ex-girlfriend naked on the internet.
-Brett Y.

A girl once called me 82 times in one night. You think she would have figured it out once I didn't pick up the first time. We weren't dating.
-Bill, Bowling Green

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1171873"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/7/collegehumor.34fb0a748e9767bd8891bea7cfb6f87d.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-07-09 16:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1171873">Jason Michaels</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1146"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 151 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910334 Bleep Bloop Blonus Footage: Auditioning For Games Wed, 06 May 2009 13:44:06 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910334 Bleep Bloop Blonus Footage: Auditioning For Games nonadult comedy Josh Ruben tells tales of his auditions for Rockstar Games. bleep bloop, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910334"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/7/collegehumor.eeb15d23b86ae645733717175d2f6a4c.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279">Jeff Rubin</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:215"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 62 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1904488 Hardly Working: Man Baby Tue, 31 Mar 2009 11:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1904488 Hardly Working: Man Baby nonadult comedy Oh, grow up. ch originals, man baby, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1904488"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/4/collegehumor.75a5da74376ef298e3ca5744b505b5bf.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1266 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1891703 Hardly Working: 60s Day Wed, 26 Nov 2008 11:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1891703 Hardly Working: 60s Day nonadult comedy The decade that defined a generation. 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CH Originals, CH Sketches, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1833261"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/2/collegehumor.aa426d36c6dbea0a78032a92e407c123.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1472 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825036 Hardly Working: New Guy Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:39:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825036 Hardly Working: New Guy nonadult comedy A new programmer thinks he has the balls to introduce himself to the CH Editorial staff. CH Originals, hardly working, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825036"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/c/collegehumor.eab178077886b433b552562c21dd3966.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1061 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825036 Hardly Working: New Guy Thu, 31 Jul 2008 15:39:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825036 Hardly Working: New Guy nonadult comedy A new programmer thinks he has the balls to introduce himself to the CH Editorial staff. CH Originals, hardly working, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1825036"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/c/collegehumor.eab178077886b433b552562c21dd3966.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1061 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1823766 Font Conference Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:07:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1823766 Font Conference nonadult comedy This video wasn't long enough, so we made it double-spaced. 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CH Originals, best of ch originals, CH Sketches, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1823766"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/f/collegehumor.1764a0593721eda5c4b3aecf018daef8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2738 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1818283 New Math Wed, 04 Jun 2008 15:56:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1818283 New Math nonadult comedy Bo Burnham returns after a long hiatus to lay down some learning on your dumb self. His new EP drops June 17. Bo Burnham, Music, Math, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1818283"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/7/collegehumor.cd53c2d9e49cb01343e271b7da5c0bcd.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:234508">Bo</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 695 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752023 Seven Cinematic Sub-Sub-Genres Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:24:44 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752023 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> "Mr. Mom" Comedies
If the history of PG-rated comedies have taught us anything, it's that grown men posses virtually no nurturing instincts whatsoever, and are incompetent at raising children to the point of felonious neglect. "Mr. Mom" comedies, named after the 1983 Michael Keaton movie of the same name, relishes in the stereotype of the ignorant stay-at-home male. No sooner is it that Mom steps out the door that Dad, a male au pair, or any male entrusted with the well-being of kids, is rendered useless in 90 minutes of toddlers swinging on lampshades and infants pissing on his chest during ill-fated diaper changes.
Examples Include
"Mr. Nanny," "Daddy Day Care," "The Pacifier," "The Game Plan," "Cheaper by the Dozen," "Are We There Yet?" "Cheaper by the Dozen 2," "Mr. Mom"
Common Scenes
-Comically contrasting "tough-guy" casting (e.g. Hulk Hogan, Vin Diesel)
-Dog, toad, or other household pet running rampant through house
-Skateboards hazardously placed atop staircases


'90s Cyber-Thrillers
Hard as it may be to imagine in a present where every suburban household in the country sports a Compaq 2600 in the family room and the Internet's most exciting uses include downloading "300" and watching Asian pornography, computers were once viewed with awe and terror. In that long-ago decade known as the '90s, the "World Wide Web" was a (literally) virtual battlefield in which Keanu Reeves combats cyber-terrorists, Sandra Bullock exposes deadly government secrets, and Russel Crowe has an American accent.
Examples Include
"Lawnmower Man," "Johnny Mnemonic," "The Net," "Virtuosity," "Strange Days," Hackers
Common Scenes
-Protagonist donning comically oversized virtual reality helmet
-Neon green and pink color scheme throughout film and film advertisements
-Digital "Maguffin" in form of microchip, miniature CD-ROM, or floppy disk containing incriminating data
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/5/collegehumor.a38249fddab8bb4c357d45a5e57a11dc.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-03-28 17:24:44 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1562982">Jeff & Patrick</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 257 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751294 Forgotten Faces of the Indiana Jones Trilogy Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:23:18 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751294 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> .indyjones h4 { width: 480px; text-align: center; }.indyjones h4 em { }.indyjones p { text-align: justify; margin-bottom: 20px; }.indyjones div { width: 480px; margin: 0 auto; text-align: center; margin-bottom: 5px; }

The fourth installment of the Indiana Jones adventures may be first and foremost on fans' minds lately, but that hardly means we should turn away from the unsung heroes, little-known villains, and forgotten faces from the original Jones trilogy.

7-Foot Bald Nazi (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

If you were a German soldier sweating your 7-foot ass off digging through Cairo for some magical chest, wouldn't you take the opportunity to vent some frustration by beating the crap out of a fedora-wearing American trespassing on your airstrip? It's hard to imagine what purpose this mustachioed strongman served before Jones' arrival, other than turning Egypt into a 1920's Coney Island freakshow.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/b/collegehumor.bf47a312f8c3b3d327c1333b4268bdca.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-03-14 16:23:18 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:101226">Patrick Cassels</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:857"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 166 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1800887 Man vs. Girls Gone Wild Thu, 07 Feb 2008 18:35:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1800887 Man vs. Girls Gone Wild nonadult comedy Bear Grylls teaches you how to survive an onslaught of boobies on Mardi Gras. CH Originals, man vs wild, girls gone wild, best of ch originals, CH Sketches, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1800887"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/0/collegehumor.688e0850d9889cde1f0df260c3a8f0fa.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2769 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749316 Caption Contest Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:08:57 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749316 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>


RULES: Leave your one best entry as a comment, not a reply. Winner, as chosen by a poll next week, gets a BustedTee. Hit the keep reading for last week's picture and nominees...
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/9/collegehumor.a53793ecf48193f7f17979c9baa80605.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-02-06 10:08:57 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:279">Jeff Rubin</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:215"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 19 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798367 The Truth about Soulja Boy Wed, 30 Jan 2008 12:17:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798367 The Truth about Soulja Boy nonadult comedy "...And YOOOOOOOUUU are it." Soulja Boy, Music, Rap, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798367"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/d/collegehumor.502f965ceed004023068153d17e55b28.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1459748">The Over Show</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 513 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798571 Frat Boy Dad Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:30:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798571 Frat Boy Dad nonadult comedy Elephant Larry answers the question, "What happens when frat boys grow up?" CH Originals, elephant larry, fraternity, CH Sketches, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798571"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/f/collegehumor.ee017f849349d8db48b7273fbbbf6700.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:52687">Elephant Larry</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1692 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1796348 Moments Before Cup Chicks Mon, 07 Jan 2008 16:30:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1796348 Moments Before Cup Chicks nonadult comedy Two girls, one producer. CH Originals, cup chicks, best of ch originals, CH Sketches, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1796348"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/8/collegehumor.a8664d498503b3b1fa8c6b088e226cc4.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2747 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:36803 How to pump gas for people to lazy to drive around the pump. Sat, 21 Feb 2004 00:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:36803 How to pump gas for people to lazy to drive around the pump. nonadult comedy How to pump gas for people to lazy to drive around the pump. gas pump, lazy, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:36803"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/0/collegehumor.cf56928541f38c0c142b4c4053df8d3e.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 15 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />